Jan 14, 2013, 4:30 PM EDT
To: THE INTERNET
From: Agent Calcaterra
Re: Agent Neyer
Gentlemen: it has come to my attention that Agent Neyer has publicly doubted the efficacy of THE INTERNET to sway the Hall of Fame voting in favor of our chosen candidates. Apparently he was sleeping when THE INTERNET single handedly took control of the Hall of Fame vote from established baseball writers a few years ago and placed Bert Blyleven in the Hall against the will of THE OLD GUARD.
Whatever the case, this is obviously problematic. If Agent Neyer doubts the efficacy of THE INTERNET to control the process, THE GRAND CONSPIRACY will be imperiled. And you know what that means: Jack Cust will never make it into the Hall of Fame and Hank Aaron will never be removed, which I don’t have to tell you has long been our plan.
All agents are hearby ordered to purge references to Agent Neyer from their computers. When finished, you are to await further instructions from Agents Jaffe and Sheehan.
Aug 31, 2015, 11:35 PM EDT
Miller could use a little bit of luck these days.
Aug 31, 2015, 10:12 PM EDT
Olt was designated for assignment after the Cubs acquired Austin Jackson from the Mariners.
Aug 31, 2015, 10:00 PM EDT
Enrique Hernandez has begun to take away playing time from the struggling Joc Pederson in recent days, but now the Dodgers will have to make due without him for a while.
Aug 31, 2015, 9:43 PM EDT
Gomes, 34, is batting .221/.325/.364 with seven home runs and 22 RBI over 83 games this season.
Aug 31, 2015, 8:45 PM EDT
CC Sabathia was shut down earlier this month due to an arthritic condition in his right knee.
Aug 31, 2015, 7:53 PM EDT
Kiermaier makes a leaping catch to rob Manny Machado of a home run.
Aug 31, 2015, 7:04 PM EDT
Marco Gonzales is expected to start in his place Tuesday.
Aug 31, 2015, 7:00 PM EDT
De Aza is batting .292 with 18 extra-base hits (including four home runs), 25 RBI, and an .831 OPS in 60 games since joining the Red Sox in June.
Aug 31, 2015, 6:21 PM EDT
Jackson, an impending free agent, is batting .272/.312/.387 with eight home runs, 38 RBI, and 15 stolen bases over 107 games this season.
Aug 31, 2015, 6:05 PM EDT
The Astros will have their young phenom back at shortstop tonight against the Mariners.
Aug 31, 2015, 5:04 PM EDT
Color me dubious.
Aug 31, 2015, 4:25 PM EDT
He hasn’t played since last Wednesday and now will miss at least the next three games.
Aug 31, 2015, 4:00 PM EDT
He was on the hot seat back in June. What a difference a couple of months make.
Aug 31, 2015, 3:51 PM EDT
Aug 31, 2015, 3:40 PM EDT
Ramirez has a nagging shoulder injury.
Aug 31, 2015, 3:10 PM EDT
Actually, the fastest wiener is boring. You want to see the wiener which runs free.
Aug 31, 2015, 1:13 PM EDT
And Buck Showalter is uniquely unimpressed with Fenway Parks dimensions.
Aug 31, 2015, 12:28 PM EDT
Thats one way to do it. Not a way likely to bring success, but certainly one way to do it.
Aug 31, 2015, 12:09 PM EDT
He’s struggling with free agency right around the corner.
Aug 31, 2015, 11:25 AM EDT
The Blue Jays GM said “Steve Tolleson just decided he didn’t want to play anymore.” Tolleson takes strong issue with that.
- Cubs acquire Austin Jackson from Mariners 21
- Unknown Cuban ballplayer sleeps outside of Dodger Stadium, hoping for a tryout 31
- And That Happened: Sunday’s scores and highlights 74
- Jake Arrieta no-hits the Dodgers with 12 strikeouts 32
- Blue Jays will name Mark Shapiro as the new team president 31
- Lance Lynn expects to make next scheduled start despite suffering ankle injury Saturday 2
- Cubs expected to call up Javier Baez on September 1 6
- Settling the Score: Saturday’s results 13
- Sarah Palin sticks up for Curt Schilling, tells ESPN to “stick to sports” (266)
- Dan Patrick: When does ESPN cut ties with Curt Schilling? (201)
- Curt Schilling taken off of Little League World Series duty for making a really bad tweet (170)
- Curt Schilling taken off of ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball telecast this week (134)
- Phillies announcer calls Mets fans “obnoxious” (124)