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Wanna buy Barry Bonds’ house?

Jan 15, 2013, 4:02 PM EDT

Barry Bonds House

Barry Bonds was sentenced to house arrest as a result of his obstruction of justice conviction. If he loses the appeal, he’s gonna have to find another house in which to serve:

Former Major League Baseball player Barry Bonds has put his home in Beverly Park—an exclusive gated enclave of Beverly Hills—on the market for $25 million.

The estate, according to a person familiar with the home, has seven bedrooms and 14 bathrooms. It also has a music room, theater, wine room, gym, spa and elevator, according to a recent advertisement. There’s also a guest house and a pool on the 1.85-acre property.

Why would history’s greatest monster need a guest house? I am led to believe he is evil incarnate. What sorts of dinner parties could he possibly throw?

  1. icanspeel - Jan 15, 2013 at 4:05 PM

    Is it sad that my dream would to be stuck on that property under house arrest?

    • csndrew - Jan 15, 2013 at 4:28 PM

      Hey man, just put in 34 years of hard work and 9 years of “hard work” and maybe one day you’ll have a house like this.

      • ramrene - Jan 15, 2013 at 8:51 PM

        This house is one of the reasons he took all those steroids all those years. We can call him an @ss all we want but the guy still goes to sleep in one of those bedrooms.

      • badintent - Jan 16, 2013 at 1:16 AM

        U be right but why 14 bathrooms ? Could it be for all the sh*t that he threw during the Feds investigation ? Just askin…………………………………………

  2. The Dangerous Mabry - Jan 15, 2013 at 4:06 PM

    I don’t know a lot about $25 million houses, but is it normal to have twice as many bathrooms as bedrooms?

    • danaking - Jan 15, 2013 at 4:08 PM

      Yes, when you’re as full of shit as Bonds is.

    • mianfr - Jan 15, 2013 at 4:27 PM

      1. Danaking–Collect your Comment of the Month certificate.

      2. Logistically maybe, but it certainly borders on excessive…

      Every room has one. It’s the only way you get here. That’s 7.

      I’m also going to suggest that the master suite has a second bathroom… It’s ridiculous to do this always, but some ultra homes do have this, and I’m just going to guess this one does as well.

      One near the entrance when you walk in… That’s 9 now.

      Then, there are three wings to the house… I’m guessing the largest wing has three bathrooms not yet accounted far, the second largest has just one, because it looks like the first floor isn’t all that usable, and there’s another bathroom floating around in the last one, which is probably for cooks and whatnot anyway.

      And that’s why you should teach your son to play left field, not linebacker.

  3. csndrew - Jan 15, 2013 at 4:16 PM

    Hank Aaron wants the asking price listed as $25 million*

    • flosox - Jan 15, 2013 at 4:29 PM

      Best post today!

  4. csndrew - Jan 15, 2013 at 4:22 PM

    Wouldn’t be surprised if the towels in the guest house say ‘V. Conte’ on them.

  5. jaydoubleyou22 - Jan 15, 2013 at 4:35 PM

    Danaking… Well played.

  6. professormaddog31 - Jan 15, 2013 at 4:41 PM

    Guest house? You’re sure that’s not his on-site Rite Aid/GNC?

  7. Alex K - Jan 15, 2013 at 5:08 PM

    Hold on!

    I thought we had all agreed that Alex Rodriguez is History’s Greatest Monster.

    • meteor32 - Jan 15, 2013 at 6:06 PM

      I was led to believe by the denizens of Springfield that Jimmy Carter was history’s greatest monster. Malaise Forever.

      • jimeejohnson - Jan 15, 2013 at 9:29 PM

        That dick, Cheney.

  8. darthicarus - Jan 15, 2013 at 5:10 PM

    His guest house appears to be roughly twice the size of my house. Damn I hope one of my kids fairs better than I in sports to make an insane amount of money. Of course I think I would be prouder of them if they all graduated college & made a difference in the world without lying & cheating, but eh that’s just the morally correct parent in me coming out.

  9. yankeepunk3000 - Jan 15, 2013 at 5:16 PM

    this is why ball players go broke…A 25 million dollar house I mean come on! if you made about 200 million playing baseball and you buy a house for 25 mill that’s a chunk out of all the money you earned…why not idk buy a house that’s not 25 million!!!! another think it always suprises me how the houses never have that many rooms for so much money…unless they are the size of ball parks? my sister JUST bought a house with 6 bedrooms 4 bathrooms a pool and this giant garden hill in a very nice area in San Diego for about 750 thousand…so I don’t know how house go from that to 25 million? there HAS to be a mid point right????

    • Craig Calcaterra - Jan 15, 2013 at 5:17 PM

      He paid $8 million for it, then did “extensive renovations and additions.” Which probably did not cost $17 million. I’m sure at $25 million he’s trying to extract a profit, though of course there’s no guarantee he’ll get it.

  10. husky2score - Jan 15, 2013 at 5:28 PM

    Tanks but no thanks. I don’t feel like sleeping on injection needles every night.

    • jimeejohnson - Jan 15, 2013 at 9:30 PM

      Bed of hot coals?

    • professormaddog31 - Jan 16, 2013 at 8:19 AM

      Perfect reason why we need that Sammy Sosa technology that was reported on earlier… :)

  11. godsmacked1 - Jan 15, 2013 at 7:36 PM

    Welcome to the Hotel California….you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

    • jimeejohnson - Jan 15, 2013 at 9:31 PM

      How the heck can anyone thumbs down this post?

      • Alex K - Jan 15, 2013 at 9:52 PM

        By clicking the little down turned thumb, of course. 😛

  12. goldensombrero3000 - Jan 15, 2013 at 7:47 PM

    The pool looks too small. I imagine there was considerable displacement in the late 90’s.

  13. historiophiliac - Jan 15, 2013 at 7:48 PM

    I would never want to live in a house like that. It’s insane.

    • jimeejohnson - Jan 15, 2013 at 9:34 PM

      Jed Clampett and Granny lived in a house like that. I saw it on tv when I played hooky from school as a kid. Jethro and Ellie May, too. Swimming pools…movie stars…sports millionaires.

    • jayquintana - Jan 15, 2013 at 11:27 PM

      Me neither. Nor would I want to have romanced as many women as Jeter. It’s just a shallow life.

      Oh, who am I kidding? Blank yeah, I’d love to live like these guys.

  14. unlost1 - Jan 16, 2013 at 10:42 AM

    that house is only worth that much on steroids. fair market is 10 mil

  15. modellforprez - Jan 16, 2013 at 12:02 PM

    csndrew. pay the man shirley.

  16. djjackson81 - Jan 16, 2013 at 2:24 PM

    Maybe he will be living at the hall of fame dopers house

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