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Report: Carl Pavano suffered ruptured spleen after falling while shoveling snow

Jan 24, 2013, 9:22 PM EDT

Minnesota Twins starter Pavano pitches to the New York Yankees during the first inning of Game 2 of their MLB ALDS baseball playoffs in Minneapolis

Well, this might be the most Carl Pavano injury ever. According to FOX Sports’ Ken Rosenthal, the veteran right-hander recently suffered a ruptured spleen when he slipped and fell while shoveling snow in his driveway in Vermont. Ouch.

Pavano will be sidelined for 6 to 8 weeks as a result of the mishap, which means he’ll be out until mid-to-late March. Rosenthal hears that the Rockies and Mets were among the teams that showed interest in him prior to the injury, but it’s unlikely that any team will bite until he’s back to full health.

Pavano missed most of last season with a shoulder injury, finishing with an ugly 6.00 ERA over 67 innings with the Twins. He turned 37 earlier this month.

  1. echech88 - Jan 24, 2013 at 9:34 PM

    That’s so Pavano

    • Old Gator - Jan 24, 2013 at 9:51 PM

      This putz must have been Wile E. Coyote in a past lifetime.

  2. tfbuckfutter - Jan 24, 2013 at 9:35 PM

    I feel really bad about laughing at someone getting hurt.

    Thanks a lot for making me feel like a jerk Pavano.

  3. dcfan4life - Jan 24, 2013 at 9:38 PM

    Ever heard of rock salt Pavano, good lord…

  4. theaxmancometh - Jan 24, 2013 at 9:42 PM

    If I made over $70m in my life no way I’d be shoveling my own snow

    • Old Gator - Jan 24, 2013 at 9:50 PM

      If I made over 70MM in my life, no way I’d be living where it snowed in the first place. Pass me that piña colada, would you, sweetheart? My air mattress just crossed the filter outflow and drifted away from the pitcher….

    • tfbuckfutter - Jan 24, 2013 at 9:52 PM

      If I made $70 million I wouldn’t live in Vermont.

      I would OWN Vermont.

      • historiophiliac - Jan 24, 2013 at 11:19 PM

        Could Sammy Sosa interest you in a lovely time-share?

      • tfbuckfutter - Jan 24, 2013 at 11:50 PM

        He can interest me in stock in yellow sweaters.

  5. Glenn - Jan 24, 2013 at 9:44 PM

    I remember when Bob Stanley slipped taking out the garbage and cut himself bad enough to be out for a while. At that point, it was kind of a blessing for Sox fans. Everyone had forgotten how good Stanley had been and that he was overused to the point of becoming mediocre. At the time it seemed apropos that he got hurt in a garbage accident.

    • tfbuckfutter - Jan 24, 2013 at 9:54 PM

      Paxton Crawford fell out of bed and never pitched again (nightmare about spiders? Or am I confusing that part with someone else?)

      Sox have had some weird injuries.

      • mazblast - Jan 24, 2013 at 11:09 PM

        The nightmare about spiders was Glenallen Hill. IIRC, he had the nightmare and fell through a glass coffee table, cutting himself pretty badly.

        Then there was Marty Cordova, who hurt himself via excess tanning.

      • Old Gator - Jan 24, 2013 at 11:24 PM

        And of course there was Bob Ojeda, template for Carl Pavano. A few years after cutting off the top joint of his left middle finger with a hedge trimmer (and having it reattached, kinda, in a fused bent position) while with the Mutts – making it nearly impossible for him to shoot other drivers a bird, he was sitting next to the well-marinated Tim Crews when the late Cleveland pitcher rammed his speedboat full tilt boogie into a dock in Clermont, Florida. In Ojeda’s favor, he was the only survivor of the accident but after some time in the hospital and rehab never pitched effectively again.

        But honestly, I like the one about having a nightmare about a spider and falling through a coffee table best. Wonder if Hill owns the Eight Legged Freaks or Arachnophobia DVD?

      • tfbuckfutter - Jan 24, 2013 at 11:48 PM

        II remember Cordova because it was the only time Jay Mohr ever made me laugh…..”hey Marty….just take off your hat”

  6. cackalackyank - Jan 24, 2013 at 9:50 PM

    So with all that money he got for starting like 25 games for the Yankees over 4 years, he can’t afford to pay to have someone shovel the drive for him? ..and now he wll not get signed until @ April….this guy is a freakin genius.

    • tfbuckfutter - Jan 24, 2013 at 9:58 PM

      You don’t stay rich by paying someone to do things you can easily accomplish yourself.

      That statement, however, has nothing to do with this story about Carl Pavano who is too damn clumsy to shovel snow without needing surgery.

      • Glenn - Jan 24, 2013 at 10:16 PM

        I think when you have more money than you can spend, the simple accomplishments like shoveling your own snow, gardening, cutting your own wood, etc., can give you simple zen-like pleasure.

      • tfbuckfutter - Jan 24, 2013 at 10:30 PM

        Meh…..people are wired differently.

        If I had a shitton of money, I would sit on my ass and watch Roseanne all day and be fine doing that.

        Some people have to “occupy” their time by doing “constructive” things.

        If my dad ever retired, he would probably die from sheer boredom.

        Or alcoholism.

        Or suicide (to be honest, my mom can be a bit overbearing at times).

      • Old Gator - Jan 24, 2013 at 11:27 PM

        The next time you feel the urge for a simple, Zen-like pleasure, go find yourself a woman who really knows what she’s doing and experience a complex, Kama Sutra like pleasure instead. You may bend your johnson but you probably won’t rupture your spleen.

      • bigharold - Jan 25, 2013 at 2:10 AM

        ” You may bend your johnson but you probably won’t rupture your spleen.”

        On the other hand if my wife finds out, .. a ruptured spleen is likely the starting point of a long list of injuries.

        Not the least of which would be my bank account and driving past my house and sighing wistfully about “.. the house where I used to live in.”

  7. Gordon - Jan 24, 2013 at 10:09 PM

    He should be swaddled in bubble wrap when he’s not at the ballpark.

  8. tfbuckfutter - Jan 24, 2013 at 10:17 PM

    Why is the headline pick not of Carl Pavano but instead Carl Pavano’s evil mustachioed twin?

  9. pisano - Jan 24, 2013 at 10:17 PM

    Oh thank God, just a ruptured spleen, I was afraid it was another pulled ass muscle.

    • bigharold - Jan 25, 2013 at 2:13 AM

      “I was afraid it was another pulled ass muscle.”

      I was afraid the Yankees had signed him again.

  10. thegreatstoneface - Jan 24, 2013 at 10:17 PM

    …did he get the driveway finished, at least?

    • dondada10 - Jan 24, 2013 at 10:29 PM

      That’s something my wife would say if she wasn’t imaginary.

      • indaburg - Jan 24, 2013 at 10:33 PM

        Now that’s funny.

      • lostsok - Jan 25, 2013 at 1:48 AM

        Teo? Is that you?

  11. phillyphannn83 - Jan 24, 2013 at 10:29 PM

    time to retire

  12. infrancoeurgible - Jan 24, 2013 at 10:55 PM

    The Diamondbacks are on Line 1. That’s palpable intensity you cannot find easily.

    • cackalackyank - Jan 24, 2013 at 11:14 PM

      The things a guy will do to avoid playing for the Mets

  13. mazblast - Jan 24, 2013 at 11:12 PM

    OK, I can understand not wanting to pay someone to do something you can do yourself. But jeez, at least invest in a snowblower, you know Vermont gets enough snow to justify the “expense”.

  14. b453841l - Jan 25, 2013 at 12:27 AM

    Well I hope he didn’t fall over and injure his priapism while he was at it…

  15. lostsok - Jan 25, 2013 at 1:47 AM

    Carl Pavano is a big goofy doofus.

    But he used to do Alyssa Milano, so nothing be respect here. Nothing but respect.

  16. bigtganks - Jan 25, 2013 at 3:49 AM

    Did Mariano Rivera come in and finish the rest of the driveway?

  17. genericcommenter - Jan 25, 2013 at 9:30 AM

    Sounds like he’s due for a stint on the 60-day Pavano.

  18. mgscott - Jan 25, 2013 at 3:07 PM

    He can’t afford a snow thrower? Or maybe someone to plow for him ?

  19. deacon85 - Jan 26, 2013 at 10:09 PM

    Comment I heard on a sports report back when Pavano was with the Yankees: “Once again, Carl Pavano is expected to lead the American League in MRI’s.”

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