Comments on: Report: Carl Pavano suffered ruptured spleen after falling while shoveling snow

By: deacon85

deacon85 — Sun, 27 Jan 2013 03:09:37 +0000

Comment I heard on a sports report back when Pavano was with the Yankees: “Once again, Carl Pavano is expected to lead the American League in MRI’s.”

By: mgscott

mgscott — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 20:07:15 +0000

He can’t afford a snow thrower? Or maybe someone to plow for him ?

By: genericcommenter

genericcommenter — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 14:30:25 +0000

Sounds like he’s due for a stint on the 60-day Pavano.

By: bigtganks

bigtganks — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 08:49:09 +0000

Did Mariano Rivera come in and finish the rest of the driveway?

By: bigharold

bigharold — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 07:13:21 +0000

“I was afraid it was another pulled ass muscle.”

I was afraid the Yankees had signed him again.

By: bigharold

bigharold — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 07:10:03 +0000

” You may bend your johnson but you probably won’t rupture your spleen.”

On the other hand if my wife finds out, .. a ruptured spleen is likely the starting point of a long list of injuries.

Not the least of which would be my bank account and driving past my house and sighing wistfully about “.. the house where I used to live in.”

By: lostsok

lostsok — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 06:48:01 +0000

Teo? Is that you?

By: lostsok

lostsok — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 06:47:07 +0000

Carl Pavano is a big goofy doofus.

But he used to do Alyssa Milano, so nothing be respect here. Nothing but respect.

By: b453841l

b453841l — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 05:27:00 +0000

Well I hope he didn’t fall over and injure his priapism while he was at it…

By: tfbuckfutter

tfbuckfutter — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 04:50:13 +0000

He can interest me in stock in yellow sweaters.

By: tfbuckfutter

tfbuckfutter — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 04:48:04 +0000

II remember Cordova because it was the only time Jay Mohr ever made me laugh…..”hey Marty….just take off your hat”

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 04:27:23 +0000

The next time you feel the urge for a simple, Zen-like pleasure, go find yourself a woman who really knows what she’s doing and experience a complex, Kama Sutra like pleasure instead. You may bend your johnson but you probably won’t rupture your spleen.

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 04:24:14 +0000

And of course there was Bob Ojeda, template for Carl Pavano. A few years after cutting off the top joint of his left middle finger with a hedge trimmer (and having it reattached, kinda, in a fused bent position) while with the Mutts - making it nearly impossible for him to shoot other drivers a bird, he was sitting next to the well-marinated Tim Crews when the late Cleveland pitcher rammed his speedboat full tilt boogie into a dock in Clermont, Florida. In Ojeda's favor, he was the only survivor of the accident but after some time in the hospital and rehab never pitched effectively again. But honestly, I like the one about having a nightmare about a spider and falling through a coffee table best. Wonder if Hill owns the Eight Legged Freaks or Arachnophobia DVD?

By: historiophiliac

historiophiliac — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 04:19:40 +0000

Could Sammy Sosa interest you in a lovely time-share?

By: cackalackyank

cackalackyank — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 04:14:26 +0000

The things a guy will do to avoid playing for the Mets

By: mazblast

mazblast — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 04:12:56 +0000

OK, I can understand not wanting to pay someone to do something you can do yourself. But jeez, at least invest in a snowblower, you know Vermont gets enough snow to justify the “expense”.

By: mazblast

mazblast — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 04:09:29 +0000

The nightmare about spiders was Glenallen Hill. IIRC, he had the nightmare and fell through a glass coffee table, cutting himself pretty badly.

Then there was Marty Cordova, who hurt himself via excess tanning.

By: infrancoeurgible

infrancoeurgible — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 03:55:25 +0000

The Diamondbacks are on Line 1. That’s palpable intensity you cannot find easily.

By: indaburg

indaburg — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 03:33:29 +0000

Now that’s funny.

By: tfbuckfutter

tfbuckfutter — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 03:30:59 +0000

Meh…..people are wired differently.

If I had a shitton of money, I would sit on my ass and watch Roseanne all day and be fine doing that.

Some people have to “occupy” their time by doing “constructive” things.

If my dad ever retired, he would probably die from sheer boredom.

Or alcoholism.

Or suicide (to be honest, my mom can be a bit overbearing at times).

By: dondada10

dondada10 — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 03:29:48 +0000

That’s something my wife would say if she wasn’t imaginary.

By: phillyphannn83

phillyphannn83 — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 03:29:07 +0000

time to retire

By: thegreatstoneface

thegreatstoneface — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 03:17:17 +0000

…did he get the driveway finished, at least?

By: pisano

pisano — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 03:17:10 +0000

Oh thank God, just a ruptured spleen, I was afraid it was another pulled ass muscle.

By: tfbuckfutter

tfbuckfutter — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 03:17:03 +0000

Why is the headline pick not of Carl Pavano but instead Carl Pavano’s evil mustachioed twin?

By: Glenn

Glenn — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 03:16:48 +0000

I think when you have more money than you can spend, the simple accomplishments like shoveling your own snow, gardening, cutting your own wood, etc., can give you simple zen-like pleasure.

By: Gordon

Gordon — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 03:09:36 +0000

He should be swaddled in bubble wrap when he’s not at the ballpark.

By: tfbuckfutter

tfbuckfutter — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 02:58:19 +0000

You don’t stay rich by paying someone to do things you can easily accomplish yourself.

That statement, however, has nothing to do with this story about Carl Pavano who is too damn clumsy to shovel snow without needing surgery.

By: tfbuckfutter

tfbuckfutter — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 02:54:14 +0000

Paxton Crawford fell out of bed and never pitched again (nightmare about spiders? Or am I confusing that part with someone else?)

Sox have had some weird injuries.

By: tfbuckfutter

tfbuckfutter — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 02:52:47 +0000

If I made $70 million I wouldn’t live in Vermont.

I would OWN Vermont.