Jan 30, 2013, 10:30 AM EDT
I doubt A-Rod would take this advice. He’s gone in with a full denial and likely will keep that up until he either skates clear or gets suspended by Major League Baseball. But if A-Rod really and truly wanted to try something novel and fun he’d ignore all those people who are suggesting he try to commit insurance fraud and simply own up to taking PEDs. Not out of a sense of responsibility, but out of a sense of pure unadulterated mischief.
He should walk into Bud Selig’s office tomorrow morning, put his good leg up on the desk and say “Bud, gotta tell ya. I took PEDs last year. I was rotten with the stuff. I’ll sign an affidavit to that effect right now and agree to waive any appeal of discipline. Give me my 50 game suspension, please.”
His suspension would then begin on Opening Day and last until Monday, May 27. All the while A-Rod was on the disabled list rehabbing from his hip surgery. He’d be out money, but he’d not miss a single game that he’d otherwise play in. The Joint Drug Agreement allows it. Edinson Volquez and Freddy Galvis each served their own PED suspensions while on the DL. There’s no way around it.
And when it happened, the media’s collective heads would explode. The outrage would be so great it would create shortages. The government would only allow you to have outrage, like, every other day depending on whether your license plate ends in an odd or even number. We’d be on an outrage war footing, really.
He won’t do it. But man, if he did, it’d be glorious.
Apr 19, 2014, 9:50 PM EDT
Veteran Chris Snyder hangs up the spikes, ending a ten-year stint in the big leagues.
Apr 19, 2014, 9:00 PM EDT
The Rangers lost Jim Adduci with a broken finger, but have called up one of their top prospects.
Apr 19, 2014, 8:15 PM EDT
The Braves could get Gavin Floyd back in early May after he makes at least two more rehab starts.
Apr 19, 2014, 7:35 PM EDT
The camera guy made a faux pas during the first inning of Saturday’s Angels-Tigers game.
Apr 19, 2014, 6:55 PM EDT
With his playing career likely over, Dontrelle Willis is now considering becoming a pitching coach.
Apr 19, 2014, 6:00 PM EDT
Mike Trout attached his name to an ignominious feat on Saturday against the Tigers.
Apr 19, 2014, 5:30 PM EDT
Orioles third baseman Manny Machado continues to make progress from knee surgery. He played five innings at third base and took four at-bats today in an extended spring training game.
Apr 19, 2014, 4:30 PM EDT
Nationals manager Matt Williams decided to pull Bryce Harper from today’s game after he didn’t hustle on a comebacker to the pitcher.
Apr 19, 2014, 4:28 PM EDT
Ike Davis will bat sixth in his Pirates debut this evening against the Brewers.
Apr 19, 2014, 3:31 PM EDT
Yankees closer David Robertson is on track to be activated Tuesday.
Apr 19, 2014, 2:29 PM EDT
Cole Hamels is on track to face the Dodgers next Wednesday in Los Angeles.
Apr 19, 2014, 1:16 PM EDT
The Reds are hoping that Sean Marshall’s shoulder issues are behind him.
Apr 19, 2014, 12:30 PM EDT
I’m warning you, this is pretty scary stuff.
Apr 19, 2014, 11:50 AM EDT
Denard Span had no issues during a brief minor league rehab assignment.
Apr 19, 2014, 11:01 AM EDT
Cesar Cabral was ejected after hitting three batters Friday against the Rays. And then his night got worse.
Apr 19, 2014, 10:10 AM EDT
Adjustments to each rule could be made soon.
Apr 19, 2014, 9:21 AM EDT
Angels first baseman Albert Pujols is closing in on a milestone.
Apr 19, 2014, 8:58 AM EDT
They needed extra innings to do it, but the Diamondbacks snapped a six-game losing streak last night and finally got a win against the Dodgers.
Apr 19, 2014, 3:24 AM EDT
Can’t someone please write these things down so we can all keep track?
Apr 19, 2014, 12:10 AM EDT
One of baseball’s older cliches came true on Friday night thanks to Martin Maldonado.
- Bryce Harper pulled from Saturday’s game for not hustling 61
- Report: MLB likely to adjust rules for plays at home and transfer catches 17
- Settling the Score: Friday’s results 17
- Giancarlo Stanton sends the Marlins to victory with a walk-off grand slam 22
- Jason Bartlett will retire after 10 years in the big leagues 11
- Hank Aaron is getting vile racist hate mail in retaliation for pointing out that racism still exists (248)
- “They Don’t Know Henry” (167)
- Doug Glanville’s story about being racially profiled at his own home (125)
- There is still a racial divide in baseball (112)
- And That Happened: Tuesday’s scores and highlights (96)