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The Kansas City Royals made the NRA enemies list somehow

Feb 1, 2013, 12:31 PM EDT

Royals logo

Because it’s the winter and because the Super Bowl is in a couple of days, there is NO baseball news happening. Really, not even crappy players signing one-year contracts to avoid arbitration. We’re desperate here!

Thank God, then, for the NRA.  A few minutes ago I saw people tweeting about the “enemies list” they apparently keep. In the NRA’s parlance, a list of “National Organizations with Anti-Gun Policies.”  Which, sure, if you’re an advocacy group you understandably want to keep a list of people who oppose your agenda, so fair enough. But the list is pretty hilarious, mostly because it goes way beyond actual opposition groups who work to counter the NRA’s agenda and seems to include just about anyone who has ever had a thought about gun ownership that runs counter to the NRA.

Indeed, it has a list of “celebrities” — and since Louie Anderson is on it, that term is defined EXTREMELY loosely. Heck, it has two “Family Feud” hosts on there and doesn’t even include Richard Dawson or Ray Combs. And don’t give me that “because they’re dead!” baloney. Nora Ephron is on the list and she’s dead. Boyz II Men is on the list and they’ve been dead since the early 90s.

Anyway, if you scroll down the list long enough — and you really should — you get to this one:

Kansas City Royals
David Glass, CEO
P.O. Box 419969
Kansas City, MO 64141
Pro Baseball Team

Which, I don’t even know. The Royals haven’t been a threat to anything and haven’t stood for anything since at least the late 80s. But I guess their pitching staffs for the last 20 years have shown an institutional aversion to high caliber firepower, but that’s stretching it a bit. Really, I’m perplexed.  Worth noting while we’re at it that former MLBer Mike Torrez is on the list too. Guessing lots of bitter fans of the 1978 Red Sox are in the NRA.

But I’m not gonna worry about offending the NRA about this. Because if you scroll down even further you get here:

National Broadcasting Company
NBC Television Network
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY 10112

Anyway, it’s a fun read, and that’s the case no matter how you feel about gun ownership.  Indeed, if you’re pro gun-ownership this list should make you laugh even more. I mean, if you’re prepared to shoot an intruder in your own home, how threatened are you by Art Garfunkel?

  1. drewsylvania - Feb 1, 2013 at 12:32 PM


    Even if you’re pro-firearms, the NRA is STILL a joke.

    • sportsdrenched - Feb 1, 2013 at 12:53 PM

      That’s where I’m at. I’m pro fire-arms. However, the NRA is so nutty that any assemblence of why firearms should be kept legal is lost in their nuttyness.

      Not only that. Everyone knows David Glass cannot be found in Kansas City.

    • mattyflex - Feb 1, 2013 at 3:22 PM

      I see you’re trying to make next year’s list. Well played.

  2. drewsylvania - Feb 1, 2013 at 12:34 PM

    Seriously, the list is comedy gold.

    • indaburg - Feb 1, 2013 at 2:06 PM

      Johnny Fever made the list!

      I want to be added to this list.

      • indaburg - Feb 1, 2013 at 2:58 PM

        Hmmm.. no love for Howard Hesseman?

  3. cur68 - Feb 1, 2013 at 12:36 PM

    Gotta love the NRA. Keepin’ it real since…never.

  4. professormaddog31 - Feb 1, 2013 at 12:43 PM

    If you’re threatened by Art Garfunkel, you clearly have problems that not even a Bushmaster assault rifle will fix.

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:28 PM

      I feel threatened by Art Garfunkel. Well…his hair anyway. Specifically…that clown like hair.
      Of course…you should also know Clowns have always creeped me out.

      • professormaddog31 - Feb 1, 2013 at 4:25 PM

        Same here. Clowns are minions of Satan. Or maybe even vice versa? All I know, they’re eeeeevil.

        The only reason you should be scared of Art Garfunkel is perhaps drowning in your own tears – you gotta have a heart of stone to not get a little tenderhearted when he sings “For Emily Whenever I May Find Her.”

      • Glenn - Feb 2, 2013 at 12:34 AM

        Is there anything scarier than a clown after midnight? I’m stealing that from someone, but I don’t remember who.

  5. Ducky Medwick - Feb 1, 2013 at 12:47 PM

    Now is not the time to talk about Francoeur control. Francoeur control won’t prevent the next tragedy. Put a cop with a loaded Francoeur outside every school in America.

    • jkcalhoun - Feb 1, 2013 at 12:58 PM

      Francoeur doesn’t kill rallies. Teams with Francoeur kill rallies.

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:03 PM

      On point Ducky.
      The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a Francoeur is a good guy with a Francoeur.
      How anyone can argue this point is beyond me.
      After all…armed criminals/mad men/etc…
      don’t suddenly stop because a sign on a building reads “Francoeur safe zone.”

  6. mattyflex - Feb 1, 2013 at 12:48 PM

    At least they gave us credit for being a pro team.

    • Jeremy T - Feb 1, 2013 at 12:54 PM

      Note that they didn’t specify major league

      • mattyflex - Feb 1, 2013 at 2:21 PM

        One step at a time around these parts, bro.

  7. natslady - Feb 1, 2013 at 12:55 PM

    I didn’t realize Lauren Bacall is still with us…What a beautiful lady. No wonder Bess Truman was mad. She would threaten anyone’s marriage… Bob Costas didn’t make the list? KC Chiefs did make it, though. Blue Cross-Blue Shield of KC made it, too (along with other KC addresses). Man, that city is a hotbed of ant-gun sentiment. Who’d a thunk it?

    Who is Mike Myers? Just asking because

    Robin Ruzan – Wife of Mike Myers is on the list.

    • Jeremy T - Feb 1, 2013 at 12:58 PM

      Either an actor, a relief pitcher, or a fictional serial killer

      • professormaddog31 - Feb 1, 2013 at 4:31 PM

        Of course Michael Myers is on the NRA’s sh!tlist; he uses other weapons besides guns.

  8. Chris Fiorentino - Feb 1, 2013 at 12:58 PM

    “Pro Baseball Team”

    Funniest part of this entire blog posting.

    • Jeremy T - Feb 1, 2013 at 12:59 PM

      I think they were making sure any members looking to direct their rage were sure to avoid targeting it at any kings and queens who happened to be in KC

  9. makeham98 - Feb 1, 2013 at 12:58 PM

    Ray Combs was pro-rope. Tasteless, yes, but he left his family completely strapped.

  10. kirkvanhouten - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:02 PM

    This list is…insane.

    I mean, I get that Henry Winkler may personally be against guns of something, but is Fonzie really a threat to the NRA? Is he going to team up with Frank Zappa’s kids and create some anti-gun musical or something?

    Just as curious as the inclusions are the omissions. John Cusack actively trolls the NRA on twitter and is absent, yet Kathy Najimy (who?) is famous enough to make the list?

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:08 PM

      Fonzie is a TV Character Kirk. He. Is. Not. A. Real. Person.
      Henry Winkler on the other hand…he is a person with money (and a potential) agenda.
      But more pointedly…
      I am thinking the list primarily includes any individual/group/entity who has money and a higher (than normal) profile.
      Kathy Najimy voices characters on the Simpsons (I think). LOL!

      On a side note:
      I wonder what Ric Fox did to make the list?

      • jarathen - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:29 PM

        Kathy Najimy’s biggest role ever was as the “fat” nun on Sister Act.

      • cur68 - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:42 PM

        I ONLY think of Henry Winkler as Arthur Fonzarelli. He IS Fonzie.

    • professormaddog31 - Feb 1, 2013 at 4:27 PM

      You can currently find Kathy Najimy on “Rachael and Guy’s Celebrity Cook-off”, where she is the resident vegetarian and by far most annoying ‘celebrity’ in the competition. And this is a show that had Johnny Weir in the cast.

  11. largebill - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:06 PM

    Not a member of the NRA and I am quite capable of laughing at them at times, but I’m also glad they exist and work to oppose government actions against legal gun ownership. A little history lesson is in order for the average reader of this site. NRA’s biggest fight was against DEM/KKK actions to prohibit gun ownership by minorities. Apparently, lynchings weren’t as much fun when there was a chance of the victim defending themselves.

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:14 PM

      Please don’t try to stir the pot by bringing an intelligent (potentially dissenting) opinion.
      And you are dead on in regards to the history lesson.
      I also thought your previous post in regards to bigots was on point.

      The left preach tolerance…until you don’t agree with them.
      Then you are a greedy, right wing, bible thumping, intolerant, racist “mouth breather.”
      Oh…and if ou don’t agree it is obvious you also like Nascar, Camping and Woodworking.

      • historiophiliac - Feb 1, 2013 at 2:47 PM

        What do you have against camping?

      • skids003 - Feb 1, 2013 at 2:51 PM

        Bill and St. Loius, you guys are dead on.

    • kirkvanhouten - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:19 PM

      I liked your use of DEM/KKK as if the 1960s never happened and the southern Democrats didn’t defect to the Republican party.

      • kirkvanhouten - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:51 PM

        Oh, come on thumb downers. It was a very well known party strategy to take the south for the Republican party, called the “Southern Strategy”.

        From Wikipedia: “In American politics, the Southern strategy refers to the Republican Party strategy of gaining political support or winning elections in the Southern section of the country by appealing to racism against African Americans.[1][2][3][4][5]
        Though the “Solid South” had been a longtime Democratic Party stronghold due to the Democratic Party’s defense of slavery prior to the American Civil War and segregation for a century thereafter, many white Southern Democrats stopped supporting the party following the civil rights plank of the Democratic campaign in 1948 (triggering the Dixiecrats), the African-American Civil Rights Movement, the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and Voting Rights Act of 1965, and desegregation.
        The strategy was first adopted under future Republican President Richard Nixon and Republican Senator Barry Goldwater[6] in the late 1960s.[7] The strategy was successful in many regards. It contributed to the electoral realignment of Southern states to the Republican Party, but at the expense of losing more than 90 percent of black voters to the Democratic Party. “

      • stlouis1baseball - Feb 1, 2013 at 3:57 PM

        “Also, your side has been winning for the past God knows how many years. So…good work!”

        Really? “Your side?” You can’t actually believe this Kirk. I mean…I thought your posts leaned toward the rational (albeit missguided) side. But you need to do some homework on this.

      • stlouis1baseball - Feb 1, 2013 at 3:58 PM

        When giving your rebuttal please don’t use Wikipedia.
        Well…if you want me to take it seriously anyway.

      • buggieowens - Feb 2, 2013 at 10:31 AM

        1. LB’s comments on the importance of the 2nd Amendment to blacks in post-Civil War South is quite accurate. I don’t have information to back the claim about NRA. From what I gather, the NRA used to be a moderate group that espoused sensible gun practices. I don’t know when the switch went from a reasonable organization to the switch to being shills for gun manufacturers.
        2. Kirk is also quite accurate about talking about the Southern Strategy switch. To deny otherwise is delusional.
        3. StLB makes a valid point about using Wikipedia. After all, it was Sarah Palin’s fans who changed Paul Revere’s page to reflect her claim that the Boston Silversmith, propagandist, and patriot was “ringing bells and shooting guns.”

  12. normcash - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:06 PM

    The NRA has become a paranoid organization run by paranoids for paranoids. And as is usually
    the case with paranoid groups, their extremism elicits strong opposition, which they take as proof
    that they are surrounded by enemies. Thus, their paranoia becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. But,
    hey, it great for fund-raising!

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:13 PM

      Well it also doesn’t help that they have taken the extremist position that, I’m assuming, the majority of gun owners don’t agree with. I’ve met tons of people that are pro-gun but don’t have the ridiculous “you can take my guns when you pry them from my cold dead hands” approach the NRA seems to have.

      We’ll be better as a society when we try to talk and compromise with the silent majority and not the vocal minority.

      • stlouis1baseball - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:16 PM

        Agreed Church. 100%. I will also add we’ll be better as a society when those that preach tolerance lose their hypocritical mindset and you know…actually become tolerant.

      • umrguy42 - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:36 PM

        “We’ll be better as a society when we try to talk and compromise with the silent majority and not the vocal minority.”

        So… you’re saying we should stop trying to troll ‘Cepts and the other “out there” Phillies fans?


      • largebill - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:41 PM

        Um, why do you think it is ridiculous to say “you can take my guns when you pry them from my cold dead hands”? Do you think law abiding citizens should just hand over their guns to some government entity when directed to do so? If so, then change the word “citizen” to “subject” in my last sentence.

      • kirkvanhouten - Feb 1, 2013 at 3:45 PM

        ” Do you think law abiding citizens should just hand over their guns to some government entity when directed to do so?”

        Some government entity? What are they, handing it over to the Russians? No, the “some government entity” was the one democratically elected by the American people to carry out an agenda. Don’t like it? Lobby, harass, vote and get the guys who support your agenda in. But let’s not act like it is some completely unaccountable body.

        Also, your side has been winning for the past God knows how many years. So…good work!

      • Tyree Studio - Feb 1, 2013 at 4:50 PM

        “But let’s not act like it is some completely unaccountable body.”

        It would be pretty easy to argue that our federal government has been pretty “unaccountable” for the past 30+ years or longer. I wish I could be that “accountable” with my family budget. It’s not pleasant to think about but the 2nd amendment helps protect the 1st amendment. What do I know though, I’m probably a #gun-nut

  13. fearlessleader - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:15 PM

    They’re adding Lupica as we speak.

  14. Caught Looking - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:19 PM

    This list is so dated and badly in need of updating.

    At least Torrez was listed as a ‘Former Baseball player’. Doug Flutie is on there as ‘NFL player’ and Rick Fox as ‘NBA Player’.

    The biggest travesty is that Britney Spears and Bruce Springsteen are both listed as ‘Singer’.

  15. skipperxc - Feb 1, 2013 at 1:25 PM

    Isn’t it kind of obvious the Royals would be on the list? Just look at their franchise history — they have always been opposed to anything and anybody carrying high power capabilities.

  16. dluxxx - Feb 1, 2013 at 2:09 PM

    Sara Lee Corporation
    Sara Lee Foundation
    Three First National Plaza
    Chicago, IL 60602-4260
    Phone: 312-726-2600
    Fax: 312-726-3712

    Apparently, they need to change their slogan. “Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee… Except the NRA.”

    But seriously, when you look at that first list, you see all sorts of professions like Doctors, Lawyers, Teachers, Religious communities, etc that are on the list. And seriously, the Police? And specifically School Police?

    What kind of organization suggests putting thier enemies closer to our childern? Weird…

    • dluxxx - Feb 1, 2013 at 2:10 PM

      Yeah, I know there were some typos. Where’s the edit function again? Gator?

  17. geoknows - Feb 1, 2013 at 2:09 PM

    Anybody else find it odd that, of the 41 “anti-gun corporations/corporate heads” on that list, 22 of them are based in Missouri, and a 23rd is a Kansas City based company on the Kansas side? Seems kind of disproportionate.

  18. thebadguyswon - Feb 1, 2013 at 2:10 PM

    I am frightened of Art Garfunkel.

  19. migoli - Feb 1, 2013 at 2:22 PM

    So if the NRA has a enemy list is that a threat?

    • thebadguyswon - Feb 1, 2013 at 4:09 PM

      Its called propaganda.

      • migoli - Feb 1, 2013 at 9:21 PM

        It was a joke

      • thebadguyswon - Feb 1, 2013 at 9:39 PM

        You didn’t use the sarcasm font.

  20. historiophiliac - Feb 1, 2013 at 2:50 PM

    Now I am looking forward to my planned trip to KC in September even more! It’s a baseball outing AND a political statement!

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 1, 2013 at 3:07 PM

      I love camping. A little dissapointed that (of all things) is what you took out of that post.
      If I didn’t know any better I would think it’s intentional. LOL!
      You should know something.
      If you openly (come out)…as a camping enthusiast you will most likely be lumped in with NASCAR fans, Woodworking hobbyists, rich greedy white men…and gun range patrons.
      Cause’ dat’s how we’s git er’ done round’ knees parts lil’ missy.

      • historiophiliac - Feb 1, 2013 at 3:16 PM

        Well, I was intentionally trying to find something we had in common, yeah. Still and all, I don’t think anyone’s gonna lump me in with NASCAR and woodworking….especially if I’m wearing my liberal t-shirt.

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 1, 2013 at 3:27 PM

      Oh…and you also risk being labeled a hilljack mouth breather.
      Cause’ you know…ONLY hilljack mouth breathers like camping, NASCAR, woodworking, guns and the bible.
      On a different note:
      The term “mouth breather” is something I could never really wrapped my head around.
      After all…everyone breaths out of their mouths.
      Not to mention it is just a tired ass worn out term.

  21. Jim Abbott's Right-Hand Man - Feb 1, 2013 at 3:19 PM

    I wonder what the exact criteria is for making this list. There aren’t many TV or screenwriters whose personal political beliefs I’m at all familiar with. The only one I am familiar with isn’t even on the list: Aaron Sorkin.

    What did Nora Ephron do that was so vehemently anti-gun that she makes the list over Sorkin, I wonder?

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 1, 2013 at 3:28 PM

      The only thing I know about Nora Ephron is she was a very well respected feminist.
      In addition to writing books, producing and directing movies…etc..

    • geoknows - Feb 1, 2013 at 3:36 PM

      And what’s the point in having deceased people on the list anyway?

      • dluxxx - Feb 1, 2013 at 3:55 PM

        In case of Zombie Apocalypse?

      • professormaddog31 - Feb 1, 2013 at 4:29 PM

        Surely they’re the first ones to show up at the nightly Congressional Ouija Board session.

  22. seabronco - Feb 1, 2013 at 4:44 PM

    I am extremely pro firearms, but the NRA is such a joke

    • kurtstallings - Feb 1, 2013 at 9:08 PM

      There comes a point where an organization is more of a liability than a help to those it thinks it’s helping. I am a gun owner, support private ownership, and wish we’d spend more time focusing on the actual causes of violent crime, but the NRA is an embarrassment because it masquerades as a gun ownership group when it is completely driven by the gun sales industry giants — and those actually are two very different things.

      • kurtstallings - Feb 1, 2013 at 9:09 PM

        Besides, David Glass is not so bad. His accountant said the other day that “David Glass is in the best shape of his life.”

  23. Jonny 5 - Feb 2, 2013 at 3:41 PM

    Just like any other organization they became too big to just be sensible without pushing agendas of others for their financial support. Cough cough the US government cough cough. Regardless of any perceived nuttiness they are still a powerful ally to those who value their liberty and freedom to own almost any type of gun they want, be it for sport, hunting, or protection. I’m not saying they are awesome and leave them be, I’m just saying that as long as there are people screaming to give those rights away the NRA is ok by me. Balance out the nuts so normal people can go on with their lives.

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