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Not so fast: Maybe the Marlins aren’t signing Jose Valverde after all

Feb 4, 2013, 11:51 AM EDT

Jose Valverde Getty Images

UPDATE: Clark Spencer of the Miami Herald now says Rojas’ report is “utterly false.” So, you know, I maybe wrote all that brilliant, cutting edge analysis for nothing.

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Jose Valverde is close to signing a one-year deal with the Marlins, according to Enrique Rojas of ESPN Deportes.

Valverde lost his closer job in Detroit at the end of last season and predictably failed to garner much interest as a 34-year-old free agent after his strikeout rate plummeted to a career-low 6.3 per nine innings.

Still, he saved 35 games with a 3.78 ERA last season and has averaged 38 saves during the past six years, so the Marlins get a cheap closer option and Valverde gets an opportunity to bounce back while fighting Steve Cishek for save chances on a non-contending team.

Plus, his post-save theatrics will look especially ridiculous on a last-place team.

  1. Francisco (FC) - Feb 4, 2013 at 11:57 AM

    Plus, his post-save theatrics will look especially ridiculous on a last-place team.

    At least it should distract folks from Tommy.

    • Old Gator - Feb 4, 2013 at 12:10 PM

      Leave Tommy alone!

  2. darthicarus - Feb 4, 2013 at 12:01 PM

    My apologies in advance to Old Gator. On a positive at least now there will be something else performing ridiculous celebrations besides the HR thing-a-ma-jig.

    • Old Gator - Feb 4, 2013 at 12:21 PM

      Tommy and I have become good pals. An old friend of mine once had a little dog so ugly that you fell in love with it out of pity – named the little guy Gubbio; he looked like a cross between a Chihuahua and an Ork. I put Tommy in the same class of phenomena. The fact that Gubbio was highly intelligent, affectionate and demonstrated a range of behaviors that made him interesting as well as endearing does conflict a bit with fixed curios like, say, Tommy, Karl Rove or the 2001 monolith who are programmed just to keep doing the same thing over and over. However, Tommy does need to be cued by a Feesh home run. He’s not going to get a lot of exercise this season. So cut him some slack, okay?

  3. historiophiliac - Feb 4, 2013 at 12:04 PM

    Sweet Mother of God, that’s fantastic! The siphon has become a blow dart!

    • historiophiliac - Feb 4, 2013 at 12:31 PM

      Booooo!!!!

      /throws popcorn

      • paperlions - Feb 4, 2013 at 1:38 PM

        Problem there Sybil?

        /picks up and eats thrown popcorn

      • historiophiliac - Feb 4, 2013 at 1:47 PM

        You’re all plotting against me to get my popcorn!

  4. Old Gator - Feb 4, 2013 at 12:13 PM

    Hmmm – Scrooge McLoria must have found some extra money lying around. Maybe he’s just trying to show all three fans who are left that he’s going to use his windfall from skirting the windstorm building codes to better the team on the field.

    • Francisco (FC) - Feb 4, 2013 at 1:04 PM

      Give the current state of events, I’m sure Scrooge McLoria offered to pay Valverde with a monthly subscription to the Jelly-of-the-Month Club.

  5. darthicarus - Feb 4, 2013 at 12:29 PM

    After that update I’m glad I hit cancel on my authentic Marlins Valverde jersey order

    • Old Gator - Feb 4, 2013 at 1:19 PM

      After that update, order is restored to the universe, wherein Scrooge McLoria pockets all of his cheat-the-building-codes windfall. Anything less would have been downright dystopic.

  6. djjackson81 - Feb 4, 2013 at 2:05 PM

    Jose would be a decent 7th or 8th inning guy at a veterans minimum. That’s it

    • FrustratedDolFan - Feb 4, 2013 at 3:55 PM

      Agreed…maybe we can pay him with a combination of plantains, sofritos and a promise to headline next years fan fest. Looks to be another underhanded ploy by his agent to drum up so interest.

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