Feb 5, 2013, 5:33 PM EDT
A little over a week ago 33% of the words in the headline would make so sense to any of us. Anyway:
Major League Baseball officials have asked the Miami News Times for records the alternative newspaper obtained for a story on alleged use of banned substances by several players. Miami New Times editor Chuck Strouse said Tuesday the paper had not yet decided how to respond. Strouse described the MLB move as a request and noted that the league does not have legal subpoena power.
Bud: Wait, we don’t have any subpoena power? Manfred! Torre! Get in here!
Rob Manfred and Joe Torre: [in unison] Yes boss?
Bud: This fella from the newspaper said I don’t have subpoena power. How is that possible?
Manfred: Because you’re not the government, sir.
Bud: I have control of a monopoly, do I not?
Torre: Yes sir.
Bud: And I have had federal agents do my bidding in the past, have I not?
Manfred: Yes sir.
Bud: Then get me one of those subpoena things and let’s get cracking, OK? [presses button on desk, pneumatic tube descends upon him, he is sucked into another room, possibly for lunch]
Manfred: [sigh]. Joe, get George Mitchell over here. Tell him to wear his governmenty suit.
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- Phil Hughes could finish the season with the best K/BB ratio in MLB history 10
- Settling the Score: Friday’s results 22
- Clayton Kershaw wins his 20th game of the season 11
- Why are so many people acting like Bryce Harper is a bum? 79
- It certainly looks like Barry Bonds’ criminal conviction is going to be overturned 91
- And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights 72
- VIDEO: Derek Jeter hits first home run at Yankee Stadium this season 11
- Geddy Lee’s baseball obsession makes it really hard for me to hate Rush (110)
- Ron Washington claims he resigned because he cheated on his wife (103)
- It certainly looks like Barry Bonds’ criminal conviction is going to be overturned (91)
- And That Happened: Tuesday’s scores and highlights (83)
- Umpire ejects jackwagon fan heckling Bryce Harper in Atlanta last night (82)