Feb 5, 2013, 5:33 PM EDT
A little over a week ago 33% of the words in the headline would make so sense to any of us. Anyway:
Major League Baseball officials have asked the Miami News Times for records the alternative newspaper obtained for a story on alleged use of banned substances by several players. Miami New Times editor Chuck Strouse said Tuesday the paper had not yet decided how to respond. Strouse described the MLB move as a request and noted that the league does not have legal subpoena power.
Bud: Wait, we don’t have any subpoena power? Manfred! Torre! Get in here!
Rob Manfred and Joe Torre: [in unison] Yes boss?
Bud: This fella from the newspaper said I don’t have subpoena power. How is that possible?
Manfred: Because you’re not the government, sir.
Bud: I have control of a monopoly, do I not?
Torre: Yes sir.
Bud: And I have had federal agents do my bidding in the past, have I not?
Manfred: Yes sir.
Bud: Then get me one of those subpoena things and let’s get cracking, OK? [presses button on desk, pneumatic tube descends upon him, he is sucked into another room, possibly for lunch]
Manfred: [sigh]. Joe, get George Mitchell over here. Tell him to wear his governmenty suit.
Aug 27, 2014, 11:27 PM EDT
Red Sox shortstop Xander Bogaerts has passed MLB’s concussion protocol and will return from the 7-day disabled list this Saturday night.
Aug 27, 2014, 10:23 PM EDT
Andrelton Simmons kept the Braves’ late lead intact with this ridiculous play Wednesday night against the Mets …
Aug 27, 2014, 9:48 PM EDT
Orioles infielder Manny Machado underwent successful surgery Wednesday to repair a partially-torn ligament in his right knee.
Aug 27, 2014, 9:45 PM EDT
The Tigers entered play Wednesday night trailing the Royals by 1 1/2 games in the American League Central standings and were hoping to get another strong start from trade deadline acquisition David Price, who tossed eight innings of one-run ball last week in Tampa Bay. Price did not come through.
Aug 27, 2014, 8:59 PM EDT
Derek Jeter’s retirement tour continued Wednesday night at Detroit’s Comerica Park with another set of gifts …
Aug 27, 2014, 8:05 PM EDT
Watch as Cubs top outfield prospect Jorge Soler goes deep to left-center field in his first major league at-bat Wednesday evening at Great American Ball Park in Cincinnati …
Aug 27, 2014, 7:18 PM EDT
From Brian Stull of STL Baseball Weekly comes word that Michael Wacha has been cleared to begin a minor league rehab assignment Sunday with the Double-A Springfield Cardinals. Wacha threw a simulated game at Springfield on Wednesday afternoon and reported no issues with his shoulder.
Aug 27, 2014, 6:24 PM EDT
Rockies catcher Wilin Rosario continues to battle with inflammation in his left wrist and was officially placed on the 15-day disabled list Wednesday evening.
Aug 27, 2014, 4:30 PM EDT
Which, despite the name of it, usually isn’t as serious as a lot of other stuff that can afflict pitchers.
Aug 27, 2014, 4:16 PM EDT
Young signed a one-year, $7.25 million deal with the Mets this offseason in the hopes of building back his value before hitting the free agent market again, but instead he hit just .205 with eight homers and a .630 OPS in 88 games.
Aug 27, 2014, 3:45 PM EDT
Crow was an All-Star in 2011 and has a 3.35 ERA in 226 career innings through age 26, including a 3.86 ERA in 59 appearances this season.
Aug 27, 2014, 3:18 PM EDT
In the 10 games prior to the injury Ortiz hit .515 with four homers, three doubles, and a 1.606 OPS while the Red Sox went 2-8.
Aug 27, 2014, 3:05 PM EDT
Offerman ended a man’s career by hitting him with a bat. Now he has to pay for it.
Aug 27, 2014, 2:21 PM EDT
Alonso is arbitration eligible for the first time this offseason coming off a career-worst season in which he hit just .240 with seven homers and a .682 OPS in 84 games.
Aug 27, 2014, 1:30 PM EDT
The league that has no HGH testing and never gets criticized for its drug policies, has suspended a guy for a year for using a substance that is legal in two of the 22 states in which the NFL operates.
Aug 27, 2014, 1:13 PM EDT
Astros prospect Mark Appel was terrible at Single-A and then there was a weird quasi-controversy about him throwing a bullpen session in Houston, but now the former No. 1 overall pick is thriving at Double-A.
Aug 27, 2014, 1:00 PM EDT
Alex Gordon and the Royals fly under the radar, but here they are, on top of the AL Central.
Aug 27, 2014, 12:16 PM EDT
Cingrani has been on the Triple-A disabled list since late June with a strained shoulder and recently had to halt the start of a throwing program due to continued discomfort.
Aug 27, 2014, 11:50 AM EDT
“He’d probably punch me if heard me saying that but you’re really going to take your time and make sure he’s ready to go.”
Aug 27, 2014, 11:32 AM EDT
The young stars will shine in the Arizona sun.
- David Price surrenders nine consecutive hits to the Yankees in the worst start of his career 14
- Video: Jorge Soler homers in his first major league at-bat 12
- Adam Wainwright has a “dead arm” 29
- HBT Daily: Alex Gordon and the Royals keep on rolling 12
- And That Happened: Tuesday’s scores and highlights 43
- Mariners extend general manager Jack Zduriencik’s contract 14
- Money, money, money (and Bud Selig’s nirvana) 16
- These days, the correlation between payroll and winning is historically weak 61
- The Cubs grounds crew was short staffed because the Cubs were trying to avoid Obamacare (247)
- Forgiveness for Pete Rose? Not in this lifetime (144)
- Cuban outfielder Rusney Castillo to sign with the Red Sox for $72 million (96)
- A pitch clock in Major League Baseball? No thanks. (92)
- Great Moments in Drug Testing and Punishment: The NFL Edition (92)