Feb 5, 2013, 5:33 PM EDT
A little over a week ago 33% of the words in the headline would make so sense to any of us. Anyway:
Major League Baseball officials have asked the Miami News Times for records the alternative newspaper obtained for a story on alleged use of banned substances by several players. Miami New Times editor Chuck Strouse said Tuesday the paper had not yet decided how to respond. Strouse described the MLB move as a request and noted that the league does not have legal subpoena power.
Bud: Wait, we don’t have any subpoena power? Manfred! Torre! Get in here!
Rob Manfred and Joe Torre: [in unison] Yes boss?
Bud: This fella from the newspaper said I don’t have subpoena power. How is that possible?
Manfred: Because you’re not the government, sir.
Bud: I have control of a monopoly, do I not?
Torre: Yes sir.
Bud: And I have had federal agents do my bidding in the past, have I not?
Manfred: Yes sir.
Bud: Then get me one of those subpoena things and let’s get cracking, OK? [presses button on desk, pneumatic tube descends upon him, he is sucked into another room, possibly for lunch]
Manfred: [sigh]. Joe, get George Mitchell over here. Tell him to wear his governmenty suit.
Sep 1, 2015, 4:54 PM EDT
Kelvin Herrera and Alex Rios are already infected and will could miss up to two weeks.
Sep 1, 2015, 3:41 PM EDT
Gordon missed two months with a groin injury.
Sep 1, 2015, 3:05 PM EDT
He deserves to be in already.
Sep 1, 2015, 2:39 PM EDT
Olivera was traded from the Dodgers to the Braves as part of July’s three-team, 13-player deal.
Sep 1, 2015, 12:14 PM EDT
Former Rookie of the Year and All-Star closer.
Sep 1, 2015, 11:50 AM EDT
Wait — he wasn’t with the Dodgers already?
Sep 1, 2015, 11:28 AM EDT
“It wouldn’t surprise me if Jessica’s a regular on Sunday, Monday or Wednesday night baseball, whenever the time comes,” Kruk said.
Sep 1, 2015, 10:30 AM EDT
It’s pretty nice. But it also cost $1.6M.
Sep 1, 2015, 10:15 AM EDT
He’s running out of time.
Sep 1, 2015, 9:40 AM EDT
At least he claims he did. Hmmmmm . . .
Sep 1, 2015, 9:10 AM EDT
Bananas: an essential element in Team Chemistry.
Sep 1, 2015, 8:44 AM EDT
Put differently: It ain’t so.
Sep 1, 2015, 7:25 AM EDT
Matt Williams wears sunglasses like this so you cannot tell that he is asleep.
Sep 1, 2015, 12:51 AM EDT
Ruggiano will provide some depth with Yasiel Puig and Enrique Hernandez on the disabled list.
Sep 1, 2015, 12:37 AM EDT
The Giants made a last-minute deal before the waiver trade deadline expired, picking up outfielder Alejandro De Aza from the Red Sox.
Aug 31, 2015, 11:35 PM EDT
Miller could use a little bit of luck these days.
Aug 31, 2015, 10:12 PM EDT
Olt was designated for assignment after the Cubs acquired Austin Jackson from the Mariners.
Aug 31, 2015, 10:00 PM EDT
Enrique Hernandez has begun to take away playing time from the struggling Joc Pederson in recent days, but now the Dodgers will have to make due without him for a while.
Aug 31, 2015, 9:43 PM EDT
Gomes, 34, is batting .221/.325/.364 with seven home runs and 22 RBI over 83 games this season.
Aug 31, 2015, 8:45 PM EDT
CC Sabathia was shut down earlier this month due to an arthritic condition in his right knee.
- There’s a chicken pox outbreak in the Royals’ clubhouse and multiple players are infected 0
- Shoeless Joe Jackson is not being reinstated 53
- And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights 63
- Cubs acquire Austin Jackson from Mariners 22
- Unknown Cuban ballplayer sleeps outside of Dodger Stadium, hoping for a tryout 33
- And That Happened: Sunday’s scores and highlights 74
- Jake Arrieta no-hits the Dodgers with 12 strikeouts 32
- Blue Jays will name Mark Shapiro as the new team president 31
- Sarah Palin sticks up for Curt Schilling, tells ESPN to “stick to sports” (266)
- Dan Patrick: When does ESPN cut ties with Curt Schilling? (201)
- Curt Schilling taken off of Little League World Series duty for making a really bad tweet (170)
- Curt Schilling taken off of ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball telecast this week (134)
- Phillies announcer calls Mets fans “obnoxious” (124)