/facepalm

Damnit, paint. You made me snort my drink in laughter.

However, a secondary motive is the juvenile one. I got in my head Mike Piazza going “Oh man, if I was gay, I’d be gay as F*CK, bro. I’d be the swishiest godd*mn queer you’ve ever seen in your life. Sh*t man, I’d be wearing boas and leather pants behind the plate, every day, no question. You heard of power bottoms? I’d be a power up down and sideways. They’d be building floats of me and sh*t and rolling that sh*t down the Castro every Gay Parade parade or whatever. I’d be, like, LEGENDARY gay. Sheeit. I’m Mike Piazza, bro.”

Clemens doesn’t know karate, but he knows ka-razy.

Hat tip to the godfather of soul.

Come on Tommy, you’re better than this.

(Side note: Stinson allegedly tried to convince former Minor Threat/Dag Nasty and current Bad Religion guitarist Brian Baker into joining GNR. Thankfully, Baker had enough self respect to say no).

Gotta say, on the most recent/current tour Axl put on a hell of a show- played 4 hours of GNR old and new. Pretty impressive regardless of who played the instruments….

Questions about his sexuality bothered him less than the insinuation that he was somehow phony. “I found it hugely insulting that people believed I’d go so far out of my way — living with Playmates, vacationing with actresses, showing up at nightclubs — to act out a lifestyle that would amount to a charade,” he writes. “If I was gay, I’d be gay all the way.”

I kind of love that.

Thank you Mr.Google for supplying that info and Mr. YouTube for providing video evidence.

And for the record, I saw GNR on the UYI Tour complete with back up singers and horn section.

And for the record, I’m still embarrassed.

Personally, I think a Piazza-Clemens fight would have been a dud. Two big oafs that would have been separated before anything major happened anyway.