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Yeah, baby! Mariano Rivera will continue to shag

Feb 13, 2013, 2:00 PM EDT

Because I’m 12 years-old:

 

You should always be careful when shagging. Because when you shag, you’re not just with the outfielders you’re shagging with. You’re with every outfielder who has ever shagged in that outfield. Or something.

In less juvenile news, Nightengale notes that Rivera has decided if 2013 will be his last year, but that he’s not saying now. My guess is that he’s going to retire. Then he can shag all he wants without having to worry about it affecting his ability to pitch.

  1. number42is1 - Feb 13, 2013 at 2:02 PM

    I used to shag… then i got married.

    • proudlycanadian - Feb 13, 2013 at 2:06 PM

      I understand perfectly.

      • chacochicken - Feb 13, 2013 at 2:11 PM

        Always blocking the plate, aren’t they?

      • number42is1 - Feb 13, 2013 at 2:15 PM

        A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ”Well, you see that 3-pack? That’s for when you’re in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.”
        The son then asks his father, ”What’s the 6-pack for?”
        The father replies, ”Well, that’s for when you’re in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.”
        Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
        The father replies, ”Well, that’s for when you’re married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for… ”

      • historiophiliac - Feb 13, 2013 at 2:21 PM

        Me too. :(

      • Francisco (FC) - Feb 13, 2013 at 2:25 PM

        My experience has been that it’s not really the Marriage part that slows things down, it’s the kid part…

      • indaburg - Feb 13, 2013 at 5:18 PM

        Damn, a lot of frustrated commenters on HBT. It explains a lot.

      • historiophiliac - Feb 13, 2013 at 5:37 PM

        Don’t gloat, Burgie.

      • indaburg - Feb 13, 2013 at 5:49 PM

        Who said I’m gloating? I didn’t say I wasn’t one of them.

      • historiophiliac - Feb 13, 2013 at 6:00 PM

        Oh, well, then drinks all around! lol

      • cur68 - Feb 13, 2013 at 6:39 PM

        How I wish I didn’t know what you were all talking about…….

      • historiophiliac - Feb 13, 2013 at 9:15 PM

        What were we talking about?

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 13, 2013 at 3:06 PM

      I hear you 42. My only consolation is I am not alone in this.

      • cowboysoldiertx - Feb 13, 2013 at 3:56 PM

        Kids are the best birth control and mood killers on the planet!

    • El Bravo - Feb 13, 2013 at 4:36 PM

      Sounds like you all need El Bravo The Love Guru to tend to your respective love lives. Trust me, I have the antidote to what ails you. I even do international work, Mr. Canadian. #winkywinky

      • stlouis1baseball - Feb 13, 2013 at 5:43 PM

        “you are indeed a master baiter aren’t you?”

        As I often say…no one knows me…like me.

  2. manute - Feb 13, 2013 at 2:12 PM

    That’s not Suzyn Wadlman, it’s a man, baby!

  3. captainwisdom8888 - Feb 13, 2013 at 2:29 PM

    Often before taking a particular action, I’ll stop and think to myself…to what degree of benefit will this act have on me in general terms?

    Mariano can shag fly balls all day, but his employer pays him to be a healthy closer in the bullpen instead, so Rivera’s ability to traverse the warning track after fly balls is not of importance to anybody. JUST STICK TO YOUR CRAFT…

    Do you think Belechik wants Brady taking practice with the defensive lineman? Should my Phillies try out Ryan Howard on the mound? Be real….use that dome on top of your body.

    • yankeesgameday - Feb 13, 2013 at 2:47 PM

      Way to derail a fun thread with an actual opinion.

  4. Old Hoss Radbourn - Feb 13, 2013 at 2:52 PM

    This is what did me in.

    • historiophiliac - Feb 13, 2013 at 8:08 PM

      I figured Old Hoss for a bustle man.

  5. Old Gator - Feb 13, 2013 at 3:01 PM

    I can’t stand the sight of Mike Meyers. Take that thing away.

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 13, 2013 at 3:08 PM

      I agree Gator. That dude grates on my nerves like no other.
      Er…wait! That is Mike Moore I am thinking of. I apologize. Carry on…

      • El Bravo - Feb 13, 2013 at 4:37 PM

        St Louis, you are indeed a master baiter aren’t you?

      • historiophiliac - Feb 13, 2013 at 5:59 PM

        TMI! You just drove me to drink too! Ack!

      • Old Gator - Feb 13, 2013 at 6:07 PM

        I agree – I hate people who are right all the time too.

  6. Liam - Feb 13, 2013 at 5:16 PM

    If the last season of Mo’s career is playing for a third place team that torpedoed their own playoff chances in the name of austerity within ten years of getting hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars, I will be so upset that I’ll have no choice but to complain about it on the internet.

    • cackalackyank - Feb 13, 2013 at 6:00 PM

      Done

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