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Casey Kotchman ran into a pop-up machine

Feb 19, 2013, 8:40 AM EDT

Casey Kotchman

Amazingly, that pop-up machine was not Jimmy Rollins!

Miami Marlins first baseman Casey Kotchman has received four stitches to close a cut on his left ring finger after running into a pop-up machine during infield drills … he manager says Kotchman was injured when he “tried to get around the machine and grabbed onto it and I guess cut his finger somehow.”

They then moved the pop-up machine. Worst part: Jeff Loria just told that pop-up machine that it should buy a house in that part of the infield two days ago.

In other, somewhat pathetic news, I actually looked up last year’s leaders in infield pop-ups to make the Rollins joke. Before I looked it up I had Dan Uggla listed there. Was happy to see that he was actually 5th in the category, which means my perception of him as weakly popping up every time he didn’t strike out last season was not just me being a pessimist.

  1. hisgirlgotburrelled - Feb 19, 2013 at 9:04 AM

    All that jibber jabber about rollins and uggla takes the distraction off of how ridiculous this injury is.

  2. rickhigginshtbro - Feb 19, 2013 at 9:07 AM

    is there a stat for pop ups? Rollins does do it a lot, but I really want to say Victorino hit into more the last 2 years.

    • Craig Calcaterra - Feb 19, 2013 at 9:22 AM

      There’s a stat for infield fly ball percentage. Rollins led all of baseball.

    • indaburg - Feb 19, 2013 at 9:25 AM

      Sure, it’s IFBB%. Victorino was #10 last year. I’m getting my info from here: http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=2&season=2012&month=0&season1=2012&ind=0&team=0&rost=0&age=0&filter=&players=0

      Just sort by IFFB%.

    • Chris Fiorentino - Feb 19, 2013 at 10:09 AM

      No, it’s definitely Rollins. How do I know? 2 years ago I started taking a shot every time Rollins popped up in the infield and I now have sclerosis of the liver.

      • Old Gator - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:17 PM

        You sure you didn’t do that to yourself on election night?

      • Chris Fiorentino - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:19 PM

        Election for what? President? Did we even have an election? Why? Did anyone think America wasn’t going to vote in Obama for another 4 years?

        Inconceivable!

      • Old Gator - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:35 PM

        Romney did. Always have a concession speech handy. I carried one with me on every blind date but, like Obama, never got a chance to use it.

  3. heyblueyoustink - Feb 19, 2013 at 9:10 AM

    Rollins also has an MVP trophy and a Sorld Series ring. You have…….. male pattern baldness, jammies, and an unhealthy obsession with Batman, ex lawyer boy.

    • zzalapski - Feb 19, 2013 at 9:43 AM

      Craig also knows/cares enough to spell World Series correctly. But other than that, you sure told him off!

      BTW, have you ever seen Craig and Batman in the same place at the same time? Just sayin’.

      • heyblueyoustink - Feb 19, 2013 at 10:18 AM

        Look at that! I don’t always typo, but when I do, it’s always when i’m, poking fun or being condescending!

        And I have noticed they’re never in the room at the same time. Then again, Craig and Wonder Woman are never in the same room at the same time either!

    • nategearhart - Feb 19, 2013 at 10:17 AM

      Yeah, but what have YOU ever done that was worth bragging about?

      • Old Gator - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:26 PM

        I bake the world’s finest banana apple walnut bran muffins, for one thing.

      • historiophiliac - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:47 PM

        I make the world’s best meatloaf.

      • heyblueyoustink - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:49 PM

        My Key Lime Pie is no joke, and winning a bong hitting contest at the Roach Roast in 1998 was quite the feat.

    • kyzslew77 - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:04 PM

      Yes, but the MVP isn’t his, he’s just holding it for Matt Holliday or David Wright after the writers accidentally gave it to him that year.

      • tuberippin - Feb 19, 2013 at 8:05 PM

        and he’ll be holding it for the rest of his career, too.

        I’m sure Holliday is cool with it; he’s got a ring now.

  4. Francisco (FC) - Feb 19, 2013 at 9:17 AM

    Amazingly, that pop-up machine was not Jimmy Rollins!

    *sipping coffee*

    What?

    It’s true. The man is preaching to the choir.

  5. deathmonkey41 - Feb 19, 2013 at 9:25 AM

    I would like to see who has the lead in swinging at first pitches- Rollins or Uggla.

  6. andreweac - Feb 19, 2013 at 10:06 AM

    Umm… Vernon “too blessed to be stressed” Wells is THE human pop-u machine.

  7. stlouis1baseball - Feb 19, 2013 at 10:51 AM

    “Amazingly, that pop-up machine was not Jimmy Rollins!”\

    Burn! Hahahahaha! In. Your. Face. Hahahahaha!

    • Old Gator - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:38 PM

      Take it easy, stlouis1. It’s Chinatown.

  8. Old Gator - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:24 PM

    My gut feeling is that Scrooge McLoria ordered the popup machine placed where ballplayers would run into it, injure themselves, and force the insurance company to pay their salaries.

    Of course, it is also entirely possible that early in the orfseason he ordered Larry Brainfest to sign only scrapheap ballplayers clueless enough to run into it, injure themselves, and force the insurance company to pay their salaries.

    And consonant with this surmise, it is also entirely possible that early in the orfseason he ordered Larry Brainfest to sign only scrapheap ballplayers with such poor self-images that, believing they’d never make the team anyway, they would deliberately run into it, injure themselves, and force the insurance company to pay their salaries before they could be cut from the squad.

    Casey Kotchman, Feesh first baseman. Dear Buddha, a phrase that would have to go begging for referents in any universe saner than the one Macondo inhabits.

    • mckludge - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:26 PM

      Did he not see it, or did it just pop up in front of him?

      • Old Gator - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:37 PM

        Well, it’s supposed to light up, whistle, toot and blink when someone hits a home run off of it. This makes is much easier to see against the infield rubble. Apparently, Kotchman was just running out a dribbler, as usual.

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:46 PM

      You’re on a roll today Gator!

      • Old Gator - Feb 19, 2013 at 1:06 PM

        Couldn’t be helped. I ran out of bagels yesterday.

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