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Roger Clemens has his own book coming out? Oh lovely.

Feb 19, 2013, 11:33 AM EDT

Somewhere, a publishing house is laying off all of its fact-checkers because it can’t afford a totally idle workforce:

 

I guarantee there will be a chapter about the time he broke up the smuggling ring, complete with “pew pew pew!” and “Blamblamblam!!!” sound effects, spelled out just like that. And in the end he rescues a princess or something.

  1. Chris Fiorentino - Feb 19, 2013 at 11:43 AM

    “And in the end he rescues a princess or something.”

    Inconceivable!

    • Old Gator - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:09 PM

      A fifteen year old princes, who rewards him whether she likes it or not.

    • nbjays - Feb 20, 2013 at 7:56 AM

      I don’t think that word means what you think it means…

  2. JustMeMike - Feb 19, 2013 at 11:45 AM

    subtitle: Spiraling Toward Oblivion

    Buy it
    Breeze through it.
    Burn it.

    Reduce the book to ashes – just like Roger’s legacy.

  3. dcfan4life - Feb 19, 2013 at 11:47 AM

    Similar to OJs book it would be titled “If I was Juicing…”

  4. gatordontplay - Feb 19, 2013 at 11:49 AM

    as an astro fan im embarrassed our new owner hangs out and plays golf with obama and allows this joke into spring training to mentor the young players

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:06 PM

      GDP:
      You should know that you are NEVER (under any circumstances) allowed to disagree with anything our Fearless Leader does. At least not on HBT.
      Now Roger Clemens…it’s trendy to bash him.
      So feel free to bash away.
      Just leave Barry out of it. The sun rises and sets in his ass. You simply have to accept that.
      It’s what all the cool kids are doing!

      • Old Gator - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:11 PM

        Given all the hormones he ingested, Barry’s ass became large enough so that the sun needs twelve hours to come up on one side of it and set on the other.

      • historiophiliac - Feb 19, 2013 at 1:18 PM

        Ahem.

      • Old Gator - Feb 19, 2013 at 1:41 PM

        Cover your mouth with a hankie when you do that.

  5. elmo - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:12 PM

    He’s going to have to get pretty imaginative to refute all the dirt in Jeff Pearlman’s Rocket That Fell to Earth and the NY Daily News team’s American Icon: The Fall of Roger Clemens and the Rise of Steroids.

    • dirtyharry1971 - Feb 19, 2013 at 10:24 PM

      Are you kidding me? Jeff Pearlman?? Have you seen the crap this guy writes? Id sooner believe in the tooth fairy then to believe 1 WORD Pearlman writes. Anyone who reads his stuff might as well read children’s fairy tales!!

  6. professormaddog31 - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:17 PM

    I don’t know if I’d want to pay good hard earned money to read Roger throw all his former teammates under the bus.

    I’d wait until it came out super cheap at the used book store.

    • Old Gator - Feb 19, 2013 at 1:03 PM

      Or, you could knock down a little old lady and use the money you took from her purse. There’s be no sense of having wasted good labor appended to that.

    • manchestermiracle - Feb 20, 2013 at 1:31 PM

      Bet you won’t have to wait very long….

  7. albertmn - Feb 19, 2013 at 12:49 PM

    Unless he finally comes clean and tells the truth, I can’t imagine why anyone would read this. It is likely to be more fairy tale than reality.

  8. historiophiliac - Feb 19, 2013 at 1:19 PM

    In a knife fight: Clemens or Pierzynski?

    • Old Gator - Feb 19, 2013 at 1:57 PM

      Just like a Beanbag to bring a knife to a gunfight.

  9. tfbuckfutter - Feb 19, 2013 at 1:22 PM

    Who’s going to read it to him?

    /Ms. Bliss

  10. stlouis1baseball - Feb 19, 2013 at 1:27 PM

    LOL! Were you clearing your throat or did you intend to post “amen.” As in…praise Jesus?

    On a separate note:
    There is no such thing as “worlds greatest meatloaf.”
    I consider it to be an oxymoron.
    Much like a jumbo shrimp or unnecessary roughness in football.

    • Old Gator - Feb 19, 2013 at 1:42 PM

      Or “Irish cuisine.”

    • historiophiliac - Feb 19, 2013 at 2:30 PM

      I was reminding you of who you were insulting.

      You are in timeout.

      • stlouis1baseball - Feb 19, 2013 at 3:44 PM

        LOL! Understood Philiac. But please know I was just trying to help the guy out.
        He’s new around here. I wouldn’t want him to think he can formulate his own opinions and get away with such a travesty!

      • historiophiliac - Feb 19, 2013 at 3:46 PM

        No talking!

  11. ytownjoe - Feb 19, 2013 at 3:05 PM

    A medical directory for professional athletes?

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