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Eliezer Alfonzo hasn’t reported to Dodgers camp because he has dengue fever

Feb 21, 2013, 1:48 PM EDT


Weird spring training injuries are coming in fast and furious now, but this one is on another level.

Journeyman catcher Eliezer Alfonzo hasn’t arrived at Dodgers camp yet because he’s stuck in Venezuela while infected with dengue fever.

According to my doctor, WebMD, dengue fever “is a painful, debilitating mosquito-borne disease caused by any one of four closely related dengue viruses.”

Symptoms can last up to 10 days and include:

– Sudden, high fever
– Severe headaches
– Pain behind the eyes
– Severe joint and muscle pain
– Nausea
– Vomiting
– Skin rash, which appears three to four days after the onset of fever
– Mild bleeding (such a nose bleed, bleeding gums, or easy bruising)

Yeesh, that sounds absolutely terrible. Also: “Mild bleeding” would be a good band name.

  1. cur68 - Feb 21, 2013 at 1:55 PM

    Holy crap. Dengue fever? Really? Well, shit. Next injury: struck by hot air ballon while crossing the street.

    • Old Gator - Feb 21, 2013 at 2:03 PM

      But is he now ready to play Symptom Six of….Beeeeeeeeat the Reaper?

      • anxovies - Feb 21, 2013 at 6:45 PM

        Firesign Theater. Now that brings back memories of dark, smoky rooms inhabited by sniggering freshmen and sophomores.

      • Old Gator - Feb 22, 2013 at 12:21 AM

        If you can remember those rooms, you must have been the narc.

    • raysfan1 - Feb 21, 2013 at 7:08 PM

      I.once diagnosed a patient with Dengue, while on a good-will mission in the Dominican Republic. The patient told me he had a fever and that it felt like every bone in his body was breaking. Since the other name for the disease is “break bone fever,” it didn’t exactly take Dr House to figure it out.

      He’ll be fine so long as he never gets bit by a mosquito carrying one of the other 3 strains. That could lead to Dengue Hemorrhagic Fever, and that one is potentially deadly.

    • badintent - Feb 22, 2013 at 5:17 PM

      The Prisioner. Those nasty sticky ballons on the beach killing anyone that tried to escape. ! Great TV series

  2. jwbiii - Feb 21, 2013 at 1:57 PM

    A illness informally known as “bone break fever” is something you really want to avoid.

    • badintent - Feb 22, 2013 at 5:21 PM

      Yep. Me and the good old boys were heading to CEBU,philippines for some great scuba diving, but the CDC said there was an outbreak. So we headed to Key West for some diving and Key Lime pie.

  3. The Common Man - Feb 21, 2013 at 2:10 PM

    It’s times like this where I almost start to wonder what HalladaysBicepts would say, but then I regain my sanity.

    • heyblueyoustink - Feb 21, 2013 at 2:18 PM

      I’m not afraid to admit I do miss his knack for turning posts ultra viral.

      • cur68 - Feb 21, 2013 at 2:21 PM

        He had a way of riling EVERYONE. The guy was the Great Uniter of HBT. He brought us all together, united in opposition to whatever crazy shit he was for or against which seemed to depend on the parabola of his alcohol intake.

        I miss the nuttiness.

      • indaburg - Feb 21, 2013 at 4:56 PM

        After reading some posts of the nutcases that have been hanging around HBT after dark, I definitely miss ole ‘cepts.

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 21, 2013 at 2:49 PM

      I really wondered myself TCM. I am sure it would have resulted in numerous thumbs downs.

  4. heyblueyoustink - Feb 21, 2013 at 2:18 PM

    “According to my doctor, WebMD,”

    Gleeman, I am face palming right at you right now.

  5. Gamera the Brave - Feb 21, 2013 at 2:24 PM

    “Mild bleeding” would be a good band name.

    Craig, would not “Dengue Fever” be an even better one?…

    • bravojawja - Feb 21, 2013 at 2:39 PM

      Google knows all:

    • indaburg - Feb 21, 2013 at 4:57 PM

      That was Aaron “Craig” Gleeman.

      • Gamera the Brave - Feb 22, 2013 at 12:28 PM

        (Slaps palm to forehead)

  6. historiophiliac - Feb 21, 2013 at 3:00 PM

    I think I might be coming down with the dengue fever. That buys me a week at spring training in Florida, right? cough, cough My mind is bleeeeeeeeding!

    • indaburg - Feb 21, 2013 at 4:58 PM

      If you need a nurse’s note, I can write one for you.

      Hey, isn’t spring break coming up soon?

      • historiophiliac - Feb 21, 2013 at 5:07 PM

        Not for almost a month 😦

  7. Francisco (FC) - Feb 21, 2013 at 3:13 PM

    What? No Diarrhea listed? There’s a variant that includes Diarrhea amongst the other fun activities listed in the post.

  8. The Dangerous Mabry - Feb 21, 2013 at 3:25 PM

    I couldn’t help myself. A quick search of Encyclopaedia Metallum shows 79 bands with “Bleeding” in the name, but no “Mild Bleeding”.

    We’ve got:

    Bleeding, Anal Bleeding (yuck), Black Bleeding, Bleeding Art, Bleeding Corpse, Bleeding Hate, Bleeding Messiah, Bleeding Organs, Bleeding Sadist, Bleeding Sword, Bleeding Utopia (huh?), Collateral Bleeding (I like that one, Eternal Bleeding, Excessive Bleeding, Innocent Bleeding, Spritual Bleeding, THE Bleeding (pretty presumptuous), Bleeding in Desperation, Corporation of Bleeding, Woman Lies Bleeding, and a number of others.

    And now I kind of want to see Bubba from Forrest Gump do that list instead of the shrimp list. Alas.

    • mybrunoblog - Feb 21, 2013 at 4:05 PM

      Bro you have way too much time on your hands

      • indaburg - Feb 21, 2013 at 5:10 PM

        Don’t we all?

  9. kountryking - Feb 21, 2013 at 5:23 PM

    I live in El Salvador. Lots of people die from dengue. Don’t joke about it.

    • badintent - Feb 22, 2013 at 5:25 PM

      We’ll add it to the list after hit squads, contaminated water, falling coocnuts, train gangs, and badass spiders. thanks.

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