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Mark Hamburger suspended 50 games for drug of abuse

Feb 25, 2013, 4:46 PM EDT

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Mark Hamburger, who was released by the Astros last week, has been suspended 50 games after testing positive for a “drug of abuse.”

Hamburger came up through the Twins’ farm system before being traded to the Rangers in mid-2008 for Eddie Guardado. He appeared in five games for the Rangers in 2011, but the right-handed reliever has bounced around since then and spent last season getting knocked around at Triple-A for three different teams.

A two-month suspension looming could make it tough for Hamburger to find a new organization at age 26.

Note: I’m going to let everyone make their own name-related jokes here, so don’t take my lack of an attempt as a sign I don’t recognize the endless possibilities.

  1. RickyB - Feb 25, 2013 at 4:51 PM

    Low-hanging fruit, much too easy and obvious … Well done with your restraint.

    • manchestermiracle - Feb 26, 2013 at 9:22 AM

      I agree, thanks for not being cheesy…

  2. pjmitch - Feb 25, 2013 at 4:52 PM

    Too much relish in the Hamburger’s system

    • pjmitch - Feb 25, 2013 at 4:57 PM

      and because of that the Hamburger won’t get any lettuce

  3. darthicarus - Feb 25, 2013 at 4:57 PM

    He was trying to become super-si….he just needed some hamburger helpe…..BIOGENESIS!!!

    • hungry joe - Feb 25, 2013 at 5:48 PM

      “drug of abuse”

      better luck next time.

  4. Panda Claus - Feb 25, 2013 at 5:06 PM

    Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, this Hamburger’s career is dead meat.

    • proudlycanadian - Feb 25, 2013 at 5:10 PM

      Horsemeat?

      • badintent - Feb 25, 2013 at 10:20 PM

        moosemeat from Quebec. A dead Maple Leaf hockey player

      • proudlycanadian - Feb 26, 2013 at 2:55 AM

        Weak as your intent was not bad.

  5. qcubed3 - Feb 25, 2013 at 5:10 PM

    Hamburger’s 50-game penalty deemed excessive in light of the substantial foreign substances found in Hotdog’s system, while Hotdog continues to be enjoyed at every major and minor league park with no suspension at all.

  6. redguy12588 - Feb 25, 2013 at 5:15 PM

    Guess we know what was in the secret sauce on this burger

  7. papacrick - Feb 25, 2013 at 5:17 PM

    Hamburger suspended for artificial enhancement of beef.. Or contamination. What kind of drug was it again?

  8. jfk69 - Feb 25, 2013 at 5:22 PM

    Hamburger blames Ikea for selling him tainted swedish meatballs. Promises to become a VEGAN if reinstated.

  9. El Bravo - Feb 25, 2013 at 5:25 PM

    I can only assume the “drug of abuse” was pink slime.

  10. bkh405 - Feb 25, 2013 at 5:28 PM

    That fact that Hamburger’s game was associated with giving up taters never helped him either.

  11. genericcommenter - Feb 25, 2013 at 7:18 PM

    [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ocv5WdBmSok&w=420&h=315%5D

  12. anxovies - Feb 25, 2013 at 7:21 PM

    It’s obvious what happened, the guy worked his buns off and when that didn’t work he went for the juice.

  13. drunkenhooliganism - Feb 25, 2013 at 8:33 PM

    Poor guy was just trying to beef up

  14. thomas844 - Feb 25, 2013 at 9:22 PM

    *Enter obligatory meat joke here*

  15. captyayo - Feb 25, 2013 at 10:16 PM

    He didn’t fail for steroids. Take a guess what drug of abuse means. It’s legal in a lot of states. Most of us are probably doing it now.

  16. Old Gator - Feb 25, 2013 at 10:46 PM

    And there’s Hamburger all over the highway in Houston, Texas….

  17. Marty - Feb 25, 2013 at 10:50 PM

    What a meathead.

  18. crackersnap - Feb 25, 2013 at 11:02 PM

    When are these guys gonna realize that if you want to beat PEDs testing, you spend the winter doing your juicing in Latin America??

    (Now we can start adding taco jokes)

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