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Quiet Riot? Ryan Theriot’s playing career may be over

Mar 18, 2013, 9:12 AM EDT

Ryan Theriot has failed to latch on anywhere this spring. Hank Schulman hears that he’s assessing his options:


Which inspires one to wonder: what is an agent’s version of TOOTBLAN?

Anyway, if this is the end for Theriot he ends his career with a line of .281/.341/.350 and 17 homers across eight big league seasons with four teams, mostly the Cubs. Such credentials make him a strong candidate for the Hall of Guys Who We Remember Playing Some Infield at Some Point Back in the Oughts.

  1. manute - Mar 18, 2013 at 9:29 AM

    Tough break for Ryan. I hope his metal health is OK.

  2. bolweevils2 - Mar 18, 2013 at 9:40 AM

    There have got to be middle infielders worse than him that will end up winning roster spots, no? Maybe those lesser middle infielders will play for less money though.

    • paperlions - Mar 18, 2013 at 10:05 AM

      No. There are actually dozens of guys that are better than Theriot that will be sent to the minors….when he can’t field, run the bases, or hit….it’s tough to find a roster spot for a guy.

      • wlschneider09 - Mar 18, 2013 at 6:55 PM

        I’m going to miss your irrational hatred of Theriot more than I miss Theriot himself Paper. Although I should thank you, really. Without your obsessive Theriot disgust I never would have ever entertained the thought of rostering RT in a fantasy league. Because you so vehemently insisted he was the worst MI in baseball I actually looked at his stats, picked him up, and he got me through a tough injury time hitting .300 with a bunch of steals and runs. So there’s that.

        And yes, I’m aware he was a terrible shortstop. There will indeed be many guys better than Theriot sent to the minors, but I’m guessing that at the end of the year Kozma’s numbers won’t be much different than a typical Theriot line. That will make me giggle a little bit.

  3. chacochicken - Mar 18, 2013 at 9:50 AM

    Someone will go down before opening day and a GM or two will be calling Theriot’s agent.

  4. proudlycanadian - Mar 18, 2013 at 10:00 AM

    I wondered what TOOTBLAN ment so I checked it out on the internet and discovered that it ment “thrown out on the bases like a complete nincompoop” and was a statistic invented in honor of Threiot. It must be a great honor to have a baseball term named after you.

    • unclemosesgreen - Mar 18, 2013 at 10:31 AM

      It’s the same kind of “honor” that is intended to Mario Mendoza in honor of his line.

      • Francisco (FC) - Mar 18, 2013 at 11:14 AM

        I still think we should call it the Uecker line. He has a perfect .200 for his career. Mendoza later redeemed himself by raising his career BA to .215.

  5. asimonetti88 - Mar 18, 2013 at 10:01 AM

    So does this mean no one will win the World Series this year?

  6. nickmiller63 - Mar 18, 2013 at 10:12 AM

    CC is such a patronizing ass. He’ll enter that same pantheon for sportswriters if he pays off half of the reading public.

  7. hushbrother - Mar 18, 2013 at 10:28 AM

    He’d be leaving the game on a high note. His last action in a game was scoring the World Series-winning run last year.

  8. bayafan - Mar 18, 2013 at 10:36 AM

    @manute That cracked me up.

  9. professormaddog31 - Mar 18, 2013 at 10:49 AM

    I loved Theriot when he was with the Cubs, secretly rooted for him when he was with the Cards, was sad but happy when he played for the Giants. He certainly wasn’t a *great* ballplayer, but damn it, I had fun watching him. Even better when he was able to work that Cajun juju with Mike Fontenot.

    Man. All my favorites are old or retiring or just plain no good anymore. I’m much too young to feel this damn old.

  10. Chris Fiorentino - Mar 18, 2013 at 11:40 AM

    He’s got two World Series rings. He also hit .600 off the 102-win Phillies in the 2011 NLDS…the prick.

  11. stlouis1baseball - Mar 18, 2013 at 3:34 PM

    Solid career with 2 titles.

  12. qmo4949 - Mar 19, 2013 at 1:07 AM

    Talking trash about a guy with two more titles than you will ever have. Who are you btw? Hack!

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