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Deep Thoughts: teams need to engage in more propaganda

Mar 19, 2013, 12:30 PM EDT

This has nothing to do with anything other than biding time until the friggin’ season starts already. Really, I think spring training has lasted nine weeks at this point.

Anyway: Dan Szymborski was apparently unable to sleep last night and he came up with something inspired:


Dan even created a poster.

This is all in keeping with my desire to see more heel-turns and stuff in baseball. I mean, if we’re gonna create narratives for these games let’s emulate the master narrative-creators of the past century: professional wrestling producers and ministries of information for communist parties around the world.

Sorry. Real games begin soon.

  1. cur68 - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:36 PM

    Can we bring back the Cuban Assassin, please? With the increasing prevalence of beards you could lose a chicken in I think the Cuban Assassin would do very well as a Minister of Propaganda style promoter. Finally, that bear’s pubis Wilson walks around with would have some meaning and relevance.

  2. deathmonkey41 - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:44 PM

    They should talk to the current Administration for pointers!

    • jwbiii - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:53 PM

      Did they hire Karl “We create out own reality” Rove?

    • mreezybreezy - Mar 19, 2013 at 1:18 PM

      Oh boy!! Politics on a baseball blog… just the thing everyone visits this site for. I just wish someone would hurry up and create a website devoted to politics.

      Wait? They have those? Damn….

  3. dluxxx - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:47 PM

    Pitcher Strikeouts are ??? I just can’t read that last line… Anybody able to?

    • dluxxx - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:52 PM

      Also, I’d turn that into my desktop icon, but I think my coworker would think I went communitst. Probably wouldn’t play well with the folks I work with…

    • someguyinva - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:59 PM

      I believe it’s “decadent”.

    • dluxxx - Mar 19, 2013 at 1:02 PM

      I think I have it. “Pitcher Strikeouts are Decadent”. That’s awesome.

      • indaburg - Mar 19, 2013 at 1:35 PM

        They’re decadent, and fascist too.

  4. chacochicken - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:50 PM

    Maybe Jeff Luhnow can hire the former Iraqi Information Minister…
    Down 7-0 in the 8th and he says something like, “The tide is turning. Soon they will surrender or be destroyed in their dug out!”

  5. darthicarus - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:51 PM

    Baghdad Bob is ready & willing to give post-game press conferences for any team that calls upon his services.

  6. dowhatifeellike - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:51 PM

    ESPN already does this for certain teams.

    • mrfloydpink - Mar 19, 2013 at 1:05 PM

      Not to name names, but here’s a hint: Those teams’ names rhyme with Yew Nork Nankees and Roston Sed Box.

  7. Kevin Gillman - Mar 19, 2013 at 1:05 PM

    Just wondering what kind of a heel would A-Rod be? Like a Randy Orton? Or a Mr. Perfect?

    • someguyinva - Mar 19, 2013 at 1:52 PM

      I’d go with Superstar Billy Graham, who had footage of his hip replacement surgery shown on (W)WWF TV once.

      • Kevin Gillman - Mar 19, 2013 at 2:07 PM

        Superstar is an interesting choice, but Graham has been open to his steroid use in the past, while A-Rod said he did it during one part of his life, and denies any other time. Which is why I can see him being the Randy Orton, telling us he is A-Rod, and we aren’t.

  8. indaburg - Mar 19, 2013 at 1:34 PM

    I love that poster. I must have it. Imperialist Tigers. Damn straight.

    Spring training has felt longer than that stupid royal pregnancy my co-workers chatter about.

    • buggieowens - Mar 19, 2013 at 3:14 PM

      Nice, Indaburg…you need to remind your co-workers that we fought a big war in the past that allowed us not to have to care about royalty.

      • indaburg - Mar 19, 2013 at 3:19 PM

        They’re hopeless. All things related to the royals get squeals. Chicks, man.

  9. chaseutley - Mar 19, 2013 at 1:46 PM

    “Out of nowhere, Nolan Ryan hits the Texas Rangers with a piledriver and signs on to pitch with the Astros!”

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