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Fernando Rodney is one weird dude

Mar 19, 2013, 8:23 AM EDT

He has a magic plantain. Which he had flown to him specially in San Francisco before last night’s WBC game. And when he got it, he put it in his belt like it was a gun. Oh, and it talks to him and tells him that he’s gonna win and stuff.

I dunno either, man.

I guess if Puerto Rico beats the Dominican Republic tonight during a ninth inning rally, this will be on the menu tomorrow morning:


  1. proudlycanadian - Mar 19, 2013 at 8:30 AM

    Whatever works I guess. Cur would likely have a comment, but he is probably still sleeping.

    • deathmonkey41 - Mar 19, 2013 at 9:43 AM

      He’s on Canadian People’s Time.

    • cur68 - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:07 PM

      Its nice to be appreciated but the answer to this one’s from our friend Indaburg who has a personal insight into all things Dominican. She explained the plantain is a staple food of her people & many Dominican’s refer to themselves as “Plantons”. Frankly, I understand this. The plantain has a certain . . . shape to it and Dominican blokes enjoy a certain reputation as for enjoying the company of The Ladies, so walking around with a plantain shoved down one’s pants is JUST the sort of thing I can see a flakey dude like Nando Rodney doing.

      I think his motto is “Walk softly, throw hard, and carry a mighty plantain in your pants”. Not a bad motto, if you ask me.

      • proudlycanadian - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:14 PM

        Makes sense to me.

      • indaburg - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:43 PM

        lol… Not “plantons.” Platanos. Planton are those little critters that live in the ocean that get eaten by whales.

      • cur68 - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:45 PM

        Sorry. My spanglish is rusty. I rarely get to the ocean in any case (more’s the pity), so its all the same to me.

  2. paperlions - Mar 19, 2013 at 8:33 AM

    How did he get produce through customs?

    • indaburg - Mar 19, 2013 at 9:13 AM

      You don’t want to know.

      • paperlions - Mar 19, 2013 at 10:19 AM

        Eww, you are suspended from my fan club.

  3. ajcardsfan - Mar 19, 2013 at 8:45 AM

    Anybody else have a hankering for some fried plantains now?

    • indaburg - Mar 19, 2013 at 8:50 AM

      Mmmhmmm. Those in the pic look fantastic.

      • Old Gator - Mar 19, 2013 at 10:09 AM

        Call ’em what they are – maduros. To do them that way they have to be nice and ripe sweet plantains. Melt the butter (butter, that is, butter – no margarine or oil, please) over low heat. Slice the plantains on a slight bias and toss with a mix of sugar or brown sugar and a tiny bit of cinnamon. Fry over low to low-medium heat until soft.

        Oh, Buddha.

        And here’s a tip that only a Jamaican would probably know: you can curry them. Aiyeee!

        To do them as tostones they need to be green. Slice them into flat rings, thickly, and skwish flatter with the bottom of a bowl (Mamacita’s choice) or some flat tool. Meh. Anyway, sprinkle the skwished plantain slices with salt and heat up some oil – coconut oil works well but Canola will do if you can’t find any – and here you may choose to include some grated garlic or not – and fry until crisp on the outside. Drain onto paper towel. Use to dip in your black bean soup or your runny egg yolk at desayuno. Ohboy.

        Come back tomorrow and we’ll skip over to Puerto Rico and explain how to make mafongo. Life in the tropics. You can’t beat it.

      • indaburg - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:48 PM

        I just got back from the bodega where I bought some beautiful platanos maduros to fry up in honor of tonight’s game.

        And don’t forget mangú. Mashed green plaintains with olive oil, onions, and garlic. Nom nom nom.

      • ajcardsfan - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:08 PM

        OG, for some reason I read that post in Foghorn Leghorn’s voice

      • Old Gator - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:28 PM

        It’s my allergies. Read it again in a couple of weeks when the shefflera have finished blooming. By then, I should be sounding like Judge Holden again.

      • cur68 - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:47 PM

        My mom does a version that comes out as a crisp, like a corn chip. Just salt and hot oil. Unbeatable. You can’t eat enough of them.

      • indaburg - Mar 19, 2013 at 12:55 PM

        Mmmm.. that sounds delicioso.

      • tuberippin - Mar 19, 2013 at 3:13 PM

        Me gusta que te necesitas poner las palabras en italics cuando tu eres escribiendo espanol.

        I look forward to reading your memoirs in the future, Old Gator. I feel like it would be like reading As I Lay Dying meets War and Peace.

      • cur68 - Mar 19, 2013 at 3:53 PM

        I feel like it would be like reading As I Lay Dying meets War and Peace.

        Tuber, I’ve often thought the same thing only I’d add a soupçon of Unabomber Manifesto to his memoirs. Whole thing written as one long sentence, too.

  4. indaburg - Mar 19, 2013 at 8:46 AM

    I thought all men think they have a magic plantain in their pockets?

    • proudlycanadian - Mar 19, 2013 at 8:49 AM

      We do!

    • unclemosesgreen - Mar 19, 2013 at 8:58 AM

      I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice.

      • professormaddog31 - Mar 19, 2013 at 10:05 AM

        Fiddy for the win.

  5. jarathen - Mar 19, 2013 at 8:47 AM

    Where was this magic plantain in Anaheim?

  6. proudlycanadian - Mar 19, 2013 at 8:48 AM

    I would prefer that a pitcher had a magic plantain rather than magic mushrooms.

    • unclemosesgreen - Mar 19, 2013 at 8:59 AM

      Tell it to Dock Ellis.

  7. aceshigh11 - Mar 19, 2013 at 8:57 AM

    “Have you brought any fruits or vegetables onto the planet?”


  8. js20011041 - Mar 19, 2013 at 8:58 AM

    Can’t it tell him that his hat’s on crooked? Maybe he doesn’t know.

  9. apmn - Mar 19, 2013 at 10:49 AM

    I would love to see a MLB team in the Caribbean. It would be a financial and logistical nightmare, but it would be fun!

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