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Bryce Harper gets free Chipotle burritos for a year? Wha? How? Man.

Mar 21, 2013, 2:00 PM EDT

He’s already got millions of bucks, will make millions more, owns a city and will soon be the biggest star in baseball if he’s not already. But now Bryce Harper is taking things to another level:


Actually, as Mike Oz of Big League Stew determined, it’s really just free burritos for a year, but still. That’s not friggin’ bad. Seems it’s part of some “celebrity program” they have. Which, I imagine, is all about maximizing the chances of celebrities like Harper being photographed carrying Chipotle bags down the sidewalk by paparazzi which equals free advertising for the restaurant.

But really, if Chipotle actually hired these people to be their spokespeople, I’m guessing a good 75% of them would do it in exchange for free burritos anyway, so it’s all good.

  1. vallewho - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:07 PM

    I’m hungry!

  2. Old Gator - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:08 PM

    That was a clown fart, bro.

  3. crispybasil - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:10 PM

    Good thing he just nabbed free Immodium A-D for a year as well.

    • Old Gator - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:14 PM

      No kidding. I make chipotle meat loaf and chipotle spoon or cornbread routinely – but I have the common courtesy to remain in my own home for 24 hours afterwards.

    • ajcardsfan - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:35 PM

      Billy Mays here with Chipotl-away for all of those nasty marks left after eating Chipotle.

      • Old Gator - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:55 PM

        Nothing personal Billy, but unless you’re coming to us from Ted Williams’ old cryogenic cylinder, I think I’d prefer the smell of a chipotle fart to what you must smell like by now.

      • chadjones27 - Mar 21, 2013 at 3:41 PM

        It’s ok, ajcardsfan, I get the reference

  4. zzalapski - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:18 PM

    Now I’m *really* jealous of the dude.

    • Old Gator - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:21 PM

      Yeah? Go crouch behind him for a while. Then we’ll see how jealous you are.

      • aceshigh11 - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:32 PM

        It’s a good thing Harper’s not a catcher. Might be a disastrous position for him to remain in for hours at a time.

      • Old Gator - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:56 PM

        Certainly for the umpire. I hate to think of the calls he’d get when he came to the plate.

  5. dowhatifeellike - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:22 PM

    Fans, to Harper, April 2014: “That’s a clown waistline, bro.”

    • dowhatifeellike - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:26 PM

      April 2014 is somehow only a year from now. WE LIVE IN THE FUTURE

      • The Dangerous Mabry - Mar 21, 2013 at 3:10 PM

        This is a fact. When I first saw Hot Tub Time Machine, and at the end they went back to 2010, I thought “Oh no! Now they’re in the future!” It took me a few minutes to figure out that 2010 was not at all the future.

  6. runnerish - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:26 PM

    George Clooney receives free pick-up artist training

  7. nineroutsider - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:27 PM

    Man, I’d have to buy Chipotlaway by the case for the entire duration of the gift card. That South Park was the best!

  8. aceshigh11 - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:30 PM

    As Chris Hardwick says:

    Enjoy your burrito.

  9. Caught Looking - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:31 PM

    I guess he’ll have $7 more in meal money now.

  10. brewcrewfan54 - Mar 21, 2013 at 2:50 PM

    I love me some chicken soft tacos with the hot salsa on them feom Chipotle!

  11. phipfwe76 - Mar 21, 2013 at 3:09 PM

    Damn, Chipotle likes to give those out! I know Paul Rabil and Abby Wambach also have those cards. How many athletes can Chipolte give these too?? I’m clearly in the wrong business.

    • thebadguyswon - Mar 21, 2013 at 4:50 PM

      Athlete worship in this country really is ridiculous.

      Granted, this is all for free publicity, but Joe Six Pack will pay for his buritos his entire life while Harper and other millionaires get free food. Incredible.

      • dowhatifeellike - Mar 21, 2013 at 5:43 PM

        Joe Six Pack can’t eat burritos anyway.

        Wait, you mean six pack of beer. Nevermind.

  12. kiwicricket - Mar 21, 2013 at 6:02 PM

    Did his groin need to be in the background?

  13. pellypell - Mar 21, 2013 at 7:06 PM

    Has anyone made a fart joke yet?

  14. mashoaf - Mar 21, 2013 at 8:01 PM

    I wonder how many Quesarito’s he’ll be able to eat?

  15. beerndrums - Mar 21, 2013 at 11:44 PM

    Chipotle will help mask the roid use by this guy

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