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Hey guys, Bud selig is gonna retire. This time he means it. Totally.

Mar 25, 2013, 9:43 AM EDT

Bud Selig has announced his retirement and then failed to carry out said retirement at least twice that I can remember. There may have been a third time in there but at this point they all blur together. It’s always “I’m going to retire after the 2*** season. I know I said I was going to retire after the 2*** season, so I understand if you don’t believe me, but this time I really and truly am.” Then about 18 months later MLB renews his contract for a couple of years.

So forgive me is I’m not buying this:


The next step in this dance will be a story truly bringing home how committed Selig is to retiring. Maybe an interview that takes place in his sleepy retirement office on a college campus somewhere, where an at peace Bud Selig intends to teach history or something, showing you just how committed he is to walking away from the league.

Nah, it’s been done.

  1. Kleinz 57 - Mar 25, 2013 at 9:48 AM

    I’m getting traumatic flashbacks to Brett Favre’s faux retirement(s).

    Dear God, please no dick pics in this one. Amen.

  2. aceshigh11 - Mar 25, 2013 at 9:52 AM

    Can’t believe the guy’s 78.

    I admire his energy, but…just retire. Enjoy your grandkids, do…something.

    • Old Gator - Mar 25, 2013 at 11:14 AM

      He has been drinking the blood of waifs.

    • paperlions - Mar 25, 2013 at 11:52 AM

      At his age, is it wise to even make plans that far in advance?

  3. chacochicken - Mar 25, 2013 at 9:53 AM

    My money is on a feet first retirement. He’s won’t go until they can nail Braun, in whatever way necessary, with a PED suspension.

  4. zzalapski - Mar 25, 2013 at 9:54 AM

    I’ll bet he’s planning to leave when he finally resolves the A’s relocation situation.

    • cackalackyank - Mar 25, 2013 at 10:42 AM

      LOL I see what you did there… its just another way of saying never.

  5. historiophiliac - Mar 25, 2013 at 9:56 AM

    No, no history teaching. He could probably get a gig in the business department though…teaching Labor Hostility 101.

    • cur68 - Mar 25, 2013 at 10:16 AM

      No chance he joins you on faculty at Tiger’s U? Given his stature he’d be like Dean Wormer to your Bluto.

      • heyblueyoustink - Mar 25, 2013 at 10:58 AM

        I see him cutting loose and being more of a Doc’ Brown type, especially with that hair.

    • Detroit Michael - Mar 25, 2013 at 10:33 AM

      I don’t make a habit of sticking up for Bud Selig, but we haven’t come close to a work stoppage in MLB for 18 years now.

      • sabatimus - Mar 25, 2013 at 10:40 AM

        You mean like Gary-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?

      • Kevin S. - Mar 25, 2013 at 10:41 AM

        Because his vendettas against non-problems like amateur bonuses and HGH are just so labor friendly, right?

      • heyblueyoustink - Mar 25, 2013 at 11:04 AM

        Good point. I think Bud allows the owners to overpay for whatever players they want, keeps both parties generally happy, and is the reason why the Yankees will start opening day with 91 million dollars on the bench and it’s kind of a yawner.

      • gloccamorra - Mar 25, 2013 at 11:52 AM

        Good thing. The LAST work stoppage was on his watch, and it resulted in the cancellation of the World Series. In that one, he let the owners play hardball, and in the litigation that followed, the union won every.single.time.

        His value to the owners is to remind them of that debacle, and get their agreement to talk, talk, talk (initial drug testing), delay, delay, delay (A’s relocation), and do nothing, nothing, nothing (Rangers ownership mess, Dodgers ownership mess, Marlins ownership, period).

    • indaburg - Mar 25, 2013 at 10:49 AM

      I can already see you yelling at him for forgetting to fill up the coffee pot in the professors’ lounge…

  6. hk62 - Mar 25, 2013 at 10:00 AM

    He’s a guest prof of a couple departments at Marquette – most notably, Marquette Law School – about multiple topics, labor relations, sports law, etc.

    And he’s been doing that for at least 4 years now –

    • Old Gator - Mar 25, 2013 at 11:47 AM

      I read somewhere that he has yet to do anything except give a few homily-infested dinner speeches at Marquette, and that he has no idea where his office is.

      • gloccamorra - Mar 25, 2013 at 11:57 AM

        Well, he gets paid to talk, the chow is good, and he gets to keep honing his amazing ability to use many words, including quotable homilies that won’t get him in trouble, to say nothing of substance.

  7. chill1184 - Mar 25, 2013 at 10:17 AM

    I just want him to go away

  8. cackalackyank - Mar 25, 2013 at 10:46 AM

    Hey Craig, you know next Monday is April 1st, right? You meant to post as an April Fool’s gag,I’m sure.

  9. randygnyc - Mar 25, 2013 at 11:58 AM

    Detroit Michael, selig s responsibilities extend past labor harmony. Sure, he’s hired by MLB owners to facilitate their will, but he’s also tasked with improving the game (not necessarily changing it)

    Bud has allowed Lauria to continue his crimes, unfettered. He allows some owners, to the detriment to the game, to neglect the aspect of winning. He is absent on the San Jose dispute. He’s intentionally stonewalling the implementation of expanded replay, where the technology can be utilized without disrupting the flow of the game. He allows inferior umpires to persist. And Buds greatest failure is how baseball has handled steroids (from when baseball turned a blind eye, to failure to bargaining for penalties with teeth).

  10. umrguy42 - Mar 25, 2013 at 12:17 PM

    “I am done. I do understand some of the feeling out there”

    Only the feeling of that minority (e.g., most of the owners) who think he’s doing a bang-up job of things.

    If he understood the feeling of most fans, he’d’ve retired years ago…

  11. DonRSD - Mar 25, 2013 at 12:43 PM

    Worst commissioner in sports.

  12. hep3 - Mar 25, 2013 at 12:44 PM

    Please, just don’t toy with me. Bud, just go.

  13. Panda Claus - Mar 25, 2013 at 2:22 PM

    Bud, can we just split the difference here? How about you just leave Dec 31, 2013 instead?

    Another year for you to enjoy your retirement and one year earlier for us to know what it’s like to have a real baseball commissioner again (not just a misplaced owner).

  14. louhudson23 - Mar 25, 2013 at 2:33 PM

    The idiocy of the Baseball Network,Inter League Play(now poisoning standings and pitching rotations all season long) continued expansion of postseason into “Playoffs/October-November Madness”,thumb and head well up his ass during the abomination that was steroids….don’t let the door hit you in the ass,Bud……it could give you a concussion….

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