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Phillies’ minor league team to debut “urinal gaming system”

Mar 26, 2013, 4:00 PM EDT

Urinal

O, wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,
That has such people in’t!

The Philadelphia Phillies’ top minor league affiliate is set to debut what it calls a “urinal gaming system” at its ballpark in Allentown … It consists of a video display mounted above each urinal. When a fan approaches, the video console will sense his presence and switch into gaming mode. The guy aims left or right to control the play on the screen.

You know that friend of yours who used to go wacko on the Wico when he came over to play your Atari 2600? No, of course you don’t because you’re too young to remember things so awesome.  Point is, people abuse the hell out of game controllers. Which means you don’t want to be on mop detail at the ballpark in Allentown.

But the messy externalities notwithstanding, this is a win for science and industry, methinks.

  1. buggieowens - Mar 26, 2013 at 4:06 PM

    While I was reading this article, I had that “real men of genius” beer commercial lingo running through my head.

  2. El Bravo - Mar 26, 2013 at 4:07 PM

    Wow, let’s hope they don’t try this with the Wrigley troughs…..

  3. buggieowens - Mar 26, 2013 at 4:07 PM

    damn edit function…jingle not lingo…

  4. dink53 - Mar 26, 2013 at 4:08 PM

    Obvious goal is more beer sales.

  5. stex52 - Mar 26, 2013 at 4:09 PM

    American ingenuity at work, always advancing technology. Makes you proud, doesn’t it?

  6. spudchukar - Mar 26, 2013 at 4:19 PM

    Knowing that your team sucks, resulting in more beer sales, to drown the sorrows, meaning more trips to the johns, and now increased entertainment while relieving oneself. Tautological perhaps, but I get the thought process.

  7. historiophiliac - Mar 26, 2013 at 4:20 PM

    What?

    • natslady - Mar 26, 2013 at 4:24 PM

      Never mind. Even if it’s a fake (which I suspect it is), I’m not appreciating it the way differently-chromosomed folks are.

  8. andyreidisthegoat - Mar 26, 2013 at 4:23 PM

    that sounds messy

  9. illegalblues - Mar 26, 2013 at 4:29 PM

    i’ll admit it, if i wasn’t a baseball fan and in town. i’d buy a ticket just to check this out.

  10. jssgriffi - Mar 26, 2013 at 4:38 PM

    Cue the woman’s rights activists!

    • historiophiliac - Mar 26, 2013 at 4:55 PM

      For what?

      • chacochicken - Mar 26, 2013 at 6:59 PM

        They have there own game. Patiently stand in line for 20 minutes.

      • historiophiliac - Mar 26, 2013 at 7:24 PM

        Yes, that is absolutely what we are doing.

    • 4d3fect - Mar 26, 2013 at 11:35 PM

      Link it to Jezebel yourself.

      I can’t be bothered.

  11. shanabartels - Mar 26, 2013 at 4:45 PM

    The link to the article isn’t working, so I’m hoping it’s an early April Fool’s thing. In any case, articles like this make me glad I’m female… it just seems more dignified than, well, making a game out of peeing. Wow.

    • indaburg - Mar 26, 2013 at 7:21 PM

      That was my first thought–early April Fool’s Day. This can’t be real.

      Boys have been making a game out of peeing since they’ve been out of diapers. Maybe even before.

      • shanabartels - Mar 27, 2013 at 12:03 AM

        Bahahahaha I got so many thumbs down. MISANDRY, you guys.

    • ginapa - Mar 27, 2013 at 1:40 PM

      Nope–no joke…..It was just on the news last evening, although they didn’t mention what baseball parks they would be in. But apparently a number of of teams are trying it out this season. Although I’m not sure what I think about it, I do know that it is no fun cleaning a bathroom when you have guys in your house!

  12. philsphan34 - Mar 26, 2013 at 4:50 PM

    Oh man, I had this idea about 5 years ago… Have a scoreboard for whoever could be the most accurate for the longest period of time

  13. dluxxx - Mar 26, 2013 at 5:08 PM

    My first thought was “Sweet!!!”

    My next thought was “Now I’ll have to wait even longer to take a leak.”

  14. phipfwe76 - Mar 26, 2013 at 5:17 PM

    As a man who regularly attends games in Philly, Reading, and Allentown, all I can say is….. GAME ON!

  15. 14thinningstretch - Mar 26, 2013 at 5:31 PM

    Looks like the Phillies are the early #1 in streaming game services. *rimshot*

    These are already apparently a thing in Japan. Games include one where you wash graffiti off a wall, and one where you battle against other players to see who can pee with the most force.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/9024979/Sega-launches-urinal-game-consoles-in-Japan.html

    • phillyfrank - Mar 27, 2013 at 1:30 AM

      As long as they don’t include the boardwalk arcade game where you have to pop a balloon with water pressure.

      • phillyfrank - Mar 27, 2013 at 1:43 AM

        Although, since it’s by Sega, this could spark a comeback for Ecco the Dolphin…

      • dluxxx - Mar 27, 2013 at 8:51 AM

        I’d rather see the return of Jet Grind Radio.

  16. bdawk20 - Mar 26, 2013 at 6:01 PM

    Gotta love minor league ingenuity – it’s always stradding the line between genius and absurdity!

  17. sophiethegreatdane - Mar 26, 2013 at 6:46 PM

    I’m pissed that my team isn’t doing this — makes me bladder than heck! Philly fans have all the fun. Urine luck, Phanatics, but don’t go nuts with the controllers. Display some tact while in pubic.

    • historiophiliac - Mar 26, 2013 at 7:23 PM

      You’re a wizz at this.

  18. indaburg - Mar 26, 2013 at 7:16 PM

    Hmmm, it’s not April 1st. This can’t be real.

    I feel so, so sorry for the cleaning crew.

    • phillyfrank - Mar 27, 2013 at 1:22 AM

      I feel sorry for tech support…

  19. butchhuskey - Mar 26, 2013 at 7:50 PM

    Has science gone too far?

  20. jdrew506 - Mar 26, 2013 at 8:03 PM

    This has got to be one of the dumbest as well as funniest thing I have heard in a while.

  21. badmamainphilliesjamas - Mar 26, 2013 at 9:23 PM

    Sponsored by Flomax…

  22. muckthefets23 - Mar 27, 2013 at 1:50 AM

    Or any of the water levels from sonic the hedgehog… Also Craig I still own a working Atari 2600 and a Coleco Vision. Never giving those bad boys up!

  23. unlost1 - Mar 27, 2013 at 7:59 AM

    and the word of the day is JOYSTICK

  24. bravojawja - Mar 27, 2013 at 9:52 AM

    We’ve come so far from the days of bee stickers.

    Come to think, isn’t the opposite of the bee stickers?

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