Skip to content

In which Chet Coppock tells an icky story about his mom and Mickey Mantle

Apr 4, 2013, 1:00 PM EDT

Not icky in the sense that the story itself is gross — news flash, women in the late 50s thought Mickey Mantle was good looking — but creepy in the way that Coppock tells it. Something about this — especially the way he seems to throw his dead father under the bus — just makes my skin crawl.

So of course I am sharing it with as many people as I possibly can:

  1. itsacurse - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:08 PM

    JESUS

    • bigharold - Apr 4, 2013 at 6:24 PM

      That is messed up, .. and NOT funny.

  2. dizoakiusmaximus - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:10 PM

    I have seen enough to know that I have seen too much.

  3. tfbuckfutter - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:11 PM

    I bet my mother’s wonderful scent still lingers somewhere deep in the cushion of that seat, that sweet mixture of sexuality and sweat that defines womanliness….

  4. josemartez - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:13 PM

    That was something else.

  5. js20011041 - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:13 PM

    You never, ever use the words “sexuality” and “mother” in the same sentence. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, my parents never had sex and I was a virgin birth. Or adopted. Either one.

    • nolanwiffle - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:36 PM

      Jesus!

    • bigharold - Apr 4, 2013 at 6:26 PM

      “.. never, ever use the words “sexuality” and “mother” in the same sentence.”

      To be fair that should be, “.. never, ever use the words “sexuality” and “ MY mother” in the same sentence.”

      There now, .. all fixed!

  6. anxovies - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:14 PM

    What’s creepy about sexuality making Chet think about his dear, departed mother?

    Oedipus.

  7. indaburg - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:15 PM

    That was…. weird.

    • historiophiliac - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:33 PM

      There you are! I need help. The last couple of days watching Torii play — he’s gelling so well with the team, he’s been hitting well, he looks good — it brings up old feelings. I think I’m weakening. I’m so ashamed.

      • indaburg - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:39 PM

        Stay strong! Don’t be sucked in by those big brown eyes, rippling muscles, and gorgeous smile that could light up a city… um.. yeah… what was I talking about again? I mean, how could anyone who hits a ball so well and is so cute be that bad? We can forgive, right?

      • historiophiliac - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:41 PM

        Did I mention that infectious smile? Ack.

      • indaburg - Apr 4, 2013 at 2:08 PM

        Sigh… he’s just so… dreamy…

        (Where’s dondada? I’m trying to use as many ellipses (ellipsi? ellipsisses?) as I can. Parentheses too.)

      • historiophiliac - Apr 4, 2013 at 2:22 PM

        Make sure they dangle too. That really gets him….

    • jeffbbf - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:58 PM

      Too funny, I remember watching this blowhard do the sports on tv in Chicago, then hearing him on the radio when I was a kid. You wouldn’t think that his constant use of middle names and multisyllabic words would work well in Chicago, but he was here for a long time. He was kind of viewed as a sideshow, but he seemed to know his stuff.

      He does seem to have had a bunch of work done on the face, and I definately don’t remember the orange hair. Stay classy, Chet Chitchat!

  8. tfbuckfutter - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:18 PM

    Can we kill the AutoPlay?

  9. heyblueyoustink - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:25 PM

    For the first time in my life, i’m happy the cybersecurity we have here gave me the old “clip can not be viewed” message on the video portion of this. Normally it’s a nusciance, today, perhaps, an ally.

  10. historiophiliac - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:30 PM

    Wait. A. Minute. You mean, if I am a good girl here on earth, I can totally jump stud athletes in Heaven? They did NOT tell me this. I should make a list…wait, probably have to do some repenting first…wait, I’d probably just have to do it again after making the list…

    /rummages for paper and pencil

    • indaburg - Apr 4, 2013 at 2:03 PM

      You can hump stud athletes on Earth. No good girl behavior required. In fact, it’s strongly discouraged.

      • professormaddog31 - Apr 4, 2013 at 3:45 PM

        It helps if you have what the studly athletes are looking for. Alas, I do not have what they are looking for, and thus will have to wait for the pearly gates.

        In the meantime I will live vicariously through groupies.

      • indaburg - Apr 4, 2013 at 4:04 PM

        Never heard of a slumpbuster?

      • historiophiliac - Apr 4, 2013 at 4:05 PM

        Eternity, Burgie. Eternity.

      • indaburg - Apr 4, 2013 at 4:26 PM

        Ah. I tend to think short term. If there’s a hell, I believe I have a reservation.

      • historiophiliac - Apr 4, 2013 at 6:44 PM

        I have to think about this now that I know there’s an eternal athlete smorgasbord.

      • indaburg - Apr 4, 2013 at 8:24 PM

        The athletes in hell are probably a lot more fun.

      • historiophiliac - Apr 4, 2013 at 8:42 PM

        Nah, that’s like Schilling and those guys. Have fun with that. hahahahahahahahaha

    • paperlions - Apr 4, 2013 at 2:25 PM

      1) Yeah, probably a good idea to go with something erasable

      2) Remember: a la carte

      • historiophiliac - Apr 4, 2013 at 2:43 PM

        ha ha That makes Madeline Kahn’s Empress Nympho from History of the World Part I spring to mind.

      • paperlions - Apr 4, 2013 at 2:47 PM

        Holy hell….I meant a la carte with respect to your choice of targets for repentance…..but your interpretation is way way WAAAAAY fuck*n’ funnier!

      • historiophiliac - Apr 4, 2013 at 2:50 PM

        Ooops. :)

        Great. Probably have to repent for that too.

    • professormaddog31 - Apr 4, 2013 at 3:48 PM

      You need pencil? I’m using a Sharpie. :D

    • beavertonsteve - Apr 4, 2013 at 10:04 PM

      Actually I believe Mickey Mantle be in hell, forced into an eternal sexual relationship with Chet Coppock’s mother.

      • historiophiliac - Apr 4, 2013 at 10:21 PM

        Wow. Yours is a judgmental and merciless God.

  11. scoser - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:34 PM

    I NEED AN ADULT!

  12. Bar None - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:41 PM

    You know that part of your day when you go read some baseball posts and then find yourself in the shower crying?

    • tfbuckfutter - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:43 PM

      That’s not what I was doing in the shower while thinking about his dead mom getting her kidneys shifted by Mickey Mantle.

  13. startedin67 - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:47 PM

    Why oh why did I click on the video? WHY? I saw the shrieks of the damned in the comments section. That should have been all the tip-off I needed. The world is now a cold and sadder place, thanks to this.

  14. Sorbet Te Charta Saccus - Apr 4, 2013 at 1:51 PM

    Chet left out the part where his mother bought a creepy motel and house next to each other on a quiet road off the main highway between Phoenix and California and moved him and her out there together to start their lives over.

  15. zzalapski - Apr 4, 2013 at 2:05 PM

    At first I thought it was about Mantle’s most outstanding experience at the old Yankee Stadium:

    http://www.lettersofnote.com/2011/02/mickey-mantles-outstanding-experience.html

    Guess not!

    • tfbuckfutter - Apr 4, 2013 at 3:28 PM

      He left out the part about her creepy son watching and pondering the sensuality of the moment aloud.

  16. Brian Murphy - Apr 4, 2013 at 2:20 PM

    I’m eating a tuna sandwich, and all I hear is “feel the sexuality ooze.”

    I am no longer eating said tuna sandwich

    • professormaddog31 - Apr 4, 2013 at 3:46 PM

      I think I’m skipping food altogether and going straight for the Pepto.

  17. Brian Murphy - Apr 4, 2013 at 2:22 PM

    Also, I’m glad to know that Canadian Club is the beverage of choice in heaven. You can drink all you want; it’s not like you are going to hurt anybody.

  18. dexterismyhero - Apr 4, 2013 at 2:49 PM

    AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! goodbye now…..

  19. szapata03 - Apr 4, 2013 at 4:16 PM

    Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! But, she might bang the Mick.

  20. yahmule - Apr 4, 2013 at 7:08 PM

    Chet should leave comedy to the professionals.

  21. moogro - Apr 4, 2013 at 9:50 PM

    Those comments were loads of fun. He’s like a Chicago Huell Howser.
    He threw himself under the bus.

  22. stlouis1baseball - Apr 5, 2013 at 4:42 PM

    Wow. I just remembered how phony Chet Coppock was/is. I totally forgot about this dude.
    Unfortunately, that video will result in me never forgetting about him again.
    Sick stuff. Then…he somehow tops the sickest part when he fantasizes about his Mother w/ Mickey.
    Dude must have hated his Father. You just don’t do that.
    You don’t mention the words “sex” or sexual” in the same sentence as Mom.
    And you don’t fantasize about your Mother with anyone. Not even your Father.
    To then fantasize about her with someone else is on a whole other level.
    I mean…
    my parents fell down twice (simultaneously) and my Mother somehow got pregnant w/ me Sister and I.
    NASTY!

Leave Comment

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

Featured video

Who's to blame for Cubs tarp fiasco?
Top 10 MLB Player Searches
  1. R. Castillo (3575)
  2. M. Cuddyer (3080)
  3. K. Bryant (2511)
  4. A. Garcia (2422)
  5. W. Myers (2287)
  1. J. Werth (2246)
  2. A. McCutchen (2188)
  3. Y. Molina (2176)
  4. G. Richards (2012)
  5. M. Fiers (1947)