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And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights

Apr 16, 2013, 6:03 AM EDT

Dustin Pedroia, Joel Peralta, Jose Lobaton

Red Sox 3, Rays 2: Mike Napoli‘s RBI double in the ninth sent everyone home happy. The happiness would last less than an hour after game time, sadly. The Red Sox are now in Cleveland, which all things considered is probably a good thing.

Padres 6, Dodgers 3: No one threw at anyone, so that’s something. Part of this surely had to do with it being Jackie Robinson Day. Indeed, Joe Torre called both managers before the game to remind them that, hey, you’re gonna look pretty petty and lame if you start plunking guys while Rachel Robinson is there to commemorate someone rising above. Tonight, though? No such limitations.

Reds 4, Phillies 2Oh my God that Ben Revere catch. The Reds broke a five game losing streak, however, when Robinson scored the winning run. No, that’s not some joke about how everyone was wearing 42. The player who scored is actually named Derrick Robinson.

Nationals 10, Marlins 3: Zimmerman + Zimmermann = win. The Nats get up off the mat after being swept, helped by Jordan complete game and Ryan’s four RBI.

Twins 8, Angels 2: Joe Mauer hit a homer, had three other hits and drove in three. The Angels are 4-9 through 13. Which is exactly where they were through 13 last season.

Cardinals 10, Pirates 6: Seven runs in the second chased James McDonald. Staked to a 10-1 lead, Lance Lynn had to struggle just to make it through five to qualify for the win. Just by reading the box score, this looks like it was kind of miserable game to watch.

Blue Jays 4, White Sox 3: Mark Buehrle beats his old mates. Well, I assume they’re his old mates. Maybe he shot the Sox clubhouse the double middle freedom rockets when he left a couple of years ago and they all think he’s kind of a jerk now. WE DON’T KNOW.

Athletics 11, Astros 2: Jed Lowrie drove in four. Tommy Milone improves to 3-0 behind a lot of run support.

Mets vs. Rockies: POSTPONED: Across the River Styx, out of the lamplight. His nemesis is waiting at the gate. The Snow Dog, ermine glowing in the damp night. Coal-black eyes shimmering with hate. By-Tor and the Snow Dog Square for battle, let the fray begin.

  1. Carter Dotson - Apr 16, 2013 at 6:14 AM

    Snow Dog is victorious!

    • The Dangerous Mabry - Apr 16, 2013 at 10:05 AM

      Phew. The land of the Overworld is saved again.

      We need to find a way to get Craig on Geddy Lee’s baseball talk show on Sirius. Someone make this happen.

  2. dondada10 - Apr 16, 2013 at 6:20 AM

    It’s great to have baseball to take our minds away from the evils in the world.

  3. Old Gator - Apr 16, 2013 at 6:42 AM

    After two weeks of hanging in there – though after the fashion of the narrator of “Incident at Owl Creek Bridge” – the Feesh finally came to the end of their rope. Oh, snap. They happened to run afoul of the Gnats just as said team was looking for a weltschmerz to take out its frustrations after a really, really bad weekend. No doubt the Feesh (2-11, worst in the majors after a brief contest with the Angels and Padres) had frustrations of their own to be taken out, but you need to have the wherewithal as well as the frustrations if you want to relieve yourself, as it were.

    At the moment, the Feesh don’t seem to have much wherewithal – though perhaps stumbling back to the locker room after taking a sixteen hit beating like the Gnats administered last night, mumbling “where am I,” comes close. Wade Leblanc, who has been pretty steady in the early going, got sheschmettered for seven runs in 3.1 innings and left with a cold compress on his ego. John Maine, who was working on his comeback of the year award, coughed up three more in another three innings of innings of so-called relief work. The Iron Giant remains benched with a shoulder contusion (though I have yet to be able to find out how he contuded? contused? contudered? himself) and the Feesh have been rummaging around in the minors to find someone to bring up to fill the roster spot vacated by Austen Kearns. In a bit of good news, Kearns is out of the hospital after experiencing an irregular heartbeat yesterday. He’ll need some more tests but things seem OK for the time being.

    Announced attendance on a wretchedly rainy night, with local flooding, was fifteen grand and change. A camera pan of the seats during Zimmerman’s shot revealed a fraction of that many. The Feesh aren’t moving many teekets. You’ve heard the expression “You can’t give those away”?

    • Kevin S. - Apr 16, 2013 at 6:50 AM

      I have to say, one of my absolute favorite aspects of HBT is the decent likelihood that on any given day, one will be treated to a quality reference to a classic American short story. Today is Ambrose Bierce day, and I think we’re coming up on that time of year when Craig drops a “The Most Dangerous Game” reference.

      • dondada10 - Apr 16, 2013 at 6:55 AM

        My favorite is “The Boarded Window.” That’s why you don’t prepare your own wife’s burial.

      • Old Gator - Apr 16, 2013 at 8:51 AM

        Did you happen to catch the oblique “Boarded Window” reference in the Grateful Dead classic “Maybe it Was the Roses”? I always get a huge kick out of the expression on a Deadhead’s face when they realize that the song they always found so romantic was really trez perverse all along…..

      • Francisco (FC) - Apr 16, 2013 at 9:11 AM

        I think we’re coming up on that time of year when Craig drops a “The Most Dangerous Game” reference.

        I already did that with Craig and the Phanatic.

      • Old Gator - Apr 16, 2013 at 12:03 PM

        Incidentally, Francisco, condolences on being stuck with that moron Capriles for six more years – or until the military throws him out as the economy continues to deteriorate. When you consider the kinds of controls the regime had over the electoral apparatus, and the margins of victory Chavez himself commanded, that the election came down to a couple of hundred thousand votes is a strong indication of how weak his position really is. Looks like the Bolivarian’s plurality has pretty much evaporated – and without Chavez’ charisma going for him, the poor, who are now once again getting poorer, aren’t going to support him much longer. I just hope whatever the resolution is, it isn’t violent.

      • Old Gator - Apr 16, 2013 at 12:05 PM

        Whoops, insert head up ass – obviously, I meant that idiot Maduro – which is the word for fried banana, oddly enough.

    • proudlycanadian - Apr 16, 2013 at 6:52 AM

      They remain on pace for a 2 and 160 record.

      • paperlions - Apr 16, 2013 at 7:54 AM

        I suppose that makes the Jays on pace for a 6-156 record.

      • proudlycanadian - Apr 16, 2013 at 8:06 AM

        Nice try paperlions, but the prediction of 2 and 160 was originally made by Old Gator. I am not going to quibble with his eminence when it comes to The Marlins.

      • Old Gator - Apr 16, 2013 at 8:59 AM

        Let’s get something straight: my 2-160 projection is not a prediction; that’s for soothsayers, Delphic oracles and haruspices like Tom Ricketts. It is a projection, like, you know, the mathematically calculated path of a hurricane.

        And like the projectionists at the Weather Channel, I’m always looking to improve my mathematical wherewithal. For the last few months I’ve been laying steam lines to my den and within a few more weeks I expect delivery of an exact replica Babbage Difference Engine from London. Once that’s been installed, I should be able to achieve an even more accurate projection of Feesh futilities throughout the season.

        Feesh math doesn’t work for birds, by the way. Different fluid dynamics.

      • indaburg - Apr 16, 2013 at 10:11 AM

        Good news. The way the Feesh are playing, it won’t be too long until Gator’s predictive model and mine converge.

      • jwbiii - Apr 16, 2013 at 12:18 PM

        Feesh math doesn’t work for birds, by the way. Different fluid dynamics.

        With a few simple adjustments for the density and coefficient of friction of the media, you can make the necessary corrections.

      • Old Gator - Apr 16, 2013 at 1:51 PM

        Wonderful. So why doesn’t Bernoulli’s Principle apply to traffic?

      • jwbiii - Apr 16, 2013 at 10:00 PM

        Bernoulli’s Principle applies only to inviscid flow. Automobile traffic is rather viscous: It resists a tendency to flow.

        This may be a tautology.

    • natslady - Apr 16, 2013 at 8:25 AM

      I get that Loria is a terrible owner and the Fish are a terrible team. (Hopefully that lineup will cure Haren’s ills tonight). But from what I could hear on TV, them that was there were pretty loud. Juan Pierre is a PEST.

      Worried about RZim when he limped around the bases and couldn’t score on Desi’s double. He was slow around the bases on his dinger also, and he’s not a showboater. Turns out he is dealing with hamstring issues. 2nd half of his game was great, phenomenal plays and good throws. It made me wonder if he took a shot of that painkiller they give football players,

      This is from a WaPo article.

      An ordinary citizen would receive a shot of the powerful painkiller Toradol for acute pain only after undergoing surgery, and typically for no more than five days. But in the NFL, doctors administer it weekly despite dangerous side effects that include renal failure, and its ability to mask pain to such a degree that a player injured during a game may not even be aware of the extent of his injury.

      • natslady - Apr 16, 2013 at 8:39 AM

        Just to be clear, I’m not saying RZ took anything, nor am I a medical expert in any way. It was just an unusual and sudden recovery.

      • jm91rs - Apr 16, 2013 at 9:49 AM

        I guess if he has an unexpected Heart Attack we’ll know it was Toradol. That stuff is nasty.

      • Old Gator - Apr 16, 2013 at 10:31 AM

        Wa Po was a 12th Century Northern Song Dynasty poet who, like most Chinese court poets, enjoyed a period of favor by the Emperor, was treated to his own house in the bamboo forest, all the roast cat he could eat, and other forms of feline-allegorized delights untill, again like most Chinese court poets, he did something to piss the Emperor orf, was hanged and thrown in the river. His story is celebrated in the Cowboy Junkies song “Stranger Here.”

    • gloccamorra - Apr 16, 2013 at 10:09 AM

      Actually, you CAN give those away, to charity, and write off the full price. The charity can include them in a raffle, but nobody can make people use them. There used to be the distinction between tickets “sold” and tickets “used”, but now we have “announced” attendance.

      • Old Gator - Apr 16, 2013 at 11:25 AM

        Hilarious. The Feesh write off their donations of teekets that no one was going to buy anyway against their luxury tax income. Then Scrooge McLoria donates to the Republican Party to keep Congress from passing legislation funding medical care for the poor on the premise that they’re stealing his money. Venus Williams has nothing on a racket like that.

  4. proudlycanadian - Apr 16, 2013 at 6:56 AM

    Buehrle cleaned his good friend’s Sox. With runners on first and third, he struck out his buddy Konerko to end the last serious threat from Chicago. Buehrle has now faced every team in baseball. The only team he does not have a victory over is the Mets.

    • uyf1950 - Apr 16, 2013 at 7:05 AM

      Pretty impressive when you think about it. Although his win/loss record against both the Yankees at 1-8 and the Angels 2-7 is pretty ugly.

      • proudlycanadian - Apr 16, 2013 at 7:23 AM

        I heard another interesting stat about Buehrle. His April win/loss ratio is abysmal. He usually starts slowly and gets better when the temperature rises.

      • uyf1950 - Apr 16, 2013 at 8:06 AM

        proudly, I’m not sure that’s 100% accurate. May seems to be his best month during the baseball year as far as win and losses. But otherwise he’s all over the board in the other months. Some years he’s good in April, June July, etc… and some years he’s bad in those months. Really May seems to be about his most consistent “win” month in most years.

    • cur68 - Apr 16, 2013 at 12:18 PM

      Perhaps my small ‘slposion next to Faux Bu II has woken E5’s bat, eh? Young fella went 3/4 and nearly was 4/4 but for a millimetre less bat on ball. Now, if we can get the whole team on the field for a change, what with Arencebia going yard ad lib, our boys needn’t rely so much on the vagaries of pitching.

      Tonight we have the erratic talents of Josh Johnson. He will need a veritable onslaught of hitting behind him to achieve Ultimate Beaver Victory. Another ‘splosion, coming up….

  5. jarathen - Apr 16, 2013 at 7:14 AM

    What’s especially frustrating about the Angels is that the younger talent, largely homegrown, is doing well. Bourjos, Trout, and recent callup Luis Jiminez have been great and all contributed last night. Last night’s loss rests on the shoulders of Joe Blanton, Albert Pujols, and Josh Hamilton.

  6. hittfamily - Apr 16, 2013 at 8:09 AM

    The Rays got screwed again. Longo hit a shot up the middle with runners on 1st and third in the 6th. Steven Drew dove for it, and threw to first. Angel Hernandez thought he was out. He was safe. Video proves it. The winning rub erased.

    Longo called out for phantom passing Zobrist in the 9th 2 weeks ago. Down by 1 with Longo on deck, ball 4 was called a strike and Zobrist was called out to end the game on the worst called strike 3 I’ve ever seen. Now this. 3 freaking games in which poor calls have cost the Rays a win or a tie.

    Also, Wil Myers. NOW!

    • Francisco (FC) - Apr 16, 2013 at 9:13 AM

      Call McSutffins! She can cure Norunsupportitis!

      • Alex K - Apr 16, 2013 at 10:54 AM

        A Doc McStuffins reference? Not what I expected to see today on HBT.

    • indaburg - Apr 16, 2013 at 9:52 AM

      Wil Myers and roboump is my wish list too. Getting screwed by the umps is getting old fast.

      • stex52 - Apr 16, 2013 at 12:13 PM

        I was looking at your box score last night Inda. It appears you only have two players on the team that fully recognize that the point of the game is to hit that little ball with the big wooden thing.

        In the interests of my fantasy team, I’m hoping that Jennings sharpens it up just a bit. But otherwise, it’s pretty much a wasteland. Myers couldn’t hurt much.

      • indaburg - Apr 16, 2013 at 12:25 PM

        The only thing bad thing that could happen is our hitting (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) coach, Derek Shelton, gets a hold of Myers and ruins his hitting. I don’t know if it’s Shelton’s fault, or just the raw material he’s been given–it’s hard to spin silk out of shit. Loney? I mean, really. But, something’s gotta give. Tampa Bay is where bats come to die.

  7. Jackson - Apr 16, 2013 at 8:57 AM

    “the double middle freedom rockets”

    Awesome line, Craig.

    • salvotion - Apr 16, 2013 at 12:13 PM

      Launchin’ double middle freedom rockets in somebody’s face with your shirt off and Motley Crue rippin’ is such a power move, you guys.

  8. papacrick - Apr 16, 2013 at 9:27 AM

    I hope this Marlins team can out-do my 03 Tigers. Takes a special team with unique talents to achieve the elusive 119 loss mark. Best of luck Loria. I’m sure this is exactly how you envisioned getting rich off a baseball team. Better option Gincarlo to Triple-A before he touches home plate again. Hate to see a player like that threaten the success of such a generous man like Crickloria

  9. dluxxx - Apr 16, 2013 at 9:34 AM

    The last time Joe Mauer hit this many home runs this early in a season was 2005. I’m not sayin, I’m just sayin… 😉

    • dluxxx - Apr 16, 2013 at 10:05 AM

      By saying that, I guess I was insinuating that the Twins will finish 3rd in the division and Mauer will hit under .300. I think I had my years mixed up… Oh well. I guess I’d take 3rd place and 83 wins at this point.

  10. girardisbraces - Apr 16, 2013 at 9:38 AM

    Apparently I woke up in an alternate universe where Craig actually quotes Rush lyrics? I’m impressed.

  11. hushbrother - Apr 16, 2013 at 10:36 AM

    Odd time signature change at the end of this post, didn’t you think?

  12. APBA Guy - Apr 16, 2013 at 11:44 AM

    After being thumped by Detroit the last two games, what would any team wish for? Yes, Oakland, your wish is granted: a series at home against the Astros. And why wait? Go get six runs off Eric “It’s Too Windy” Bedard in the first. including Nate Freiman’s 3 run blast, off what looked like the worst hanger seen West of the Mississippi since the Gold Rush. That was Nate Freiman’s first career HR, by the way. The kid Clemens looked like he was next in line for a starter spot until he stuck his paw up and crooked his pinky. But he stayed in the game. Now that’s some want-to, as the cowboys say. And of course, Tommy Milone in the Mausoleum is always tough. So the game was over when Bedard left in the first, behind 6-0. He took most of the crowd with him, as those 35 mph gusts on a 50 degree night were “bracing” to say the least.

    The A’s are 5-4 against teams not from Houston.

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