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Delmon Young is … go!

Apr 30, 2013, 1:30 PM EDT

Alternatively: Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL Delmon Young!

Maybe he’s gonna stop a few miles south of Cleveland and hit up Grandpa’s Cheese Barn? Then bop a block east to the Goasis and get himself a large Coke or something?

OK, I guess he’s going to join the Phillies. They have two against the Indians, and they could use him as a DH then to ease him into the lineup.

Either way, this ought to be fun.

  1. Francisco (FC) - Apr 30, 2013 at 1:33 PM

    Delmon Young is actually on a kidnap and sequester mission to Columbus Ohio, it only LOOKS like he’s headed to Cleveland.

    • Francisco (FC) - Apr 30, 2013 at 4:10 PM

      Delmon Young sat comfortably in his business class seat, sipping on a martini flying to Ohio. He checked his tablet to go through the briefing he just received 5 minutes ago via the aircraft network’s internet. The video showed Ruben Amaro Jr. in a nondescript office.

      “Greetings Agent D. As you are aware you have been activated from the disabled list to assist the team. But it’s a bit more involved than just being in our line-up. You should be able to make it to the game in time but first you’ll be making a slight detour to Columbus Ohio. We have a certain person we need… taken care of. This is the picture of the target.”

      A brief pause ensued while Delmon looked at profile picture of Craig Calcaterra. Then the video switched to Ruben again.

      “Further instructions and assets will be available once you touch down. Should you be captured or killed the Phillies Organization will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Good Luck.”

      After it was done his tablet display shut down, made a crackling sound and went dead. Well that wasn’t nice. Good thing the company will replace it. Now on to the flight menu, can’t do a job on an empty stomach…

      • historiophiliac - Apr 30, 2013 at 6:42 PM

        Do you really think DY is a martini drinker?

        Also, luckily he will not be able to locate CC’s lair, as it is cleverly disguised as his parents’ modest brick ranch.

      • Francisco (FC) - May 1, 2013 at 11:39 AM

        It’s part of his cover. I didn’t say DY would be successful nor what “Taken care of” was supposed to mean :)

  2. illcomm - Apr 30, 2013 at 1:45 PM

    and jayson Heywood is NoGo!

  3. phillyphannn83 - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:00 PM

    and Michael Young has been making you eat your words so far this year.

    • tfbuckfutter - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:12 PM

      That is totally untrue.

      Delmon Young ate Craig’s words before Craig had a chance to.

      And his lunch too.

      • evanwins - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:49 PM

        Let me guess, tfbuck, you are svelte and muscular with perfect hair and absolutely no physical flaws, right? Why don’t you put up a picture of yourself and give us a look-see at how perfect you are physically.

        And Craig, I looked up your picture and the last thing you should be doing is making fun of anybody’s physical appearance.

        Ya know, making fun of someone’s weight isn’t that far from saying something racist. Soooooo…

      • tfbuckfutter - Apr 30, 2013 at 3:51 PM

        Making fun of someone’s weight is a million miles away from making fun of their race.

        It’s closer to making fun of their haircut.

      • tuberippin - Apr 30, 2013 at 10:19 PM

        Did someone seriously just equate being fat with racism?

        I mean, I’m a Phils fan, and I thought that was funny. For the record, people are more willing to toss aside a ballplayer being fat if they can actually produce. Miguel Cabrera is a good example. Dude’s not exactly in great physical shape, but he mashes the ball, so people aren’t making derogatory comments about his fat ass.

    • paperlions - Apr 30, 2013 at 5:30 PM

      Yep, Young has been fantastic. As long as he can maintain his .423 BABIP, he’ll be awesome.

      • phillyphannn83 - Jul 7, 2013 at 5:08 AM

        Wow, talk about cherry-picking stats.

    • bleedgreen - Apr 30, 2013 at 7:11 PM

      I kind of came to say this. He’s actually made some really good plays defensively at 3rd, when Craig said he’d be lucky to trip over the bag. And he’s a ‘professional hitter’ hitting over .300… Not really sure what else you could ask for form your 3rd baseman.

      • tuberippin - Apr 30, 2013 at 10:22 PM

        All I ask for a Phils third baseman is “don’t be David Bell” and we’re good. Even Pedro Feliz passed that test.

  4. votefordelmon - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:00 PM

    Remember to vote for Delmon Young for the all star game! Reward the Phillies front office for this tremendous signing.

  5. randygnyc - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:01 PM

    The ONLY reason I’m not rooting for a plane crash is the other passengers. But if I knew that he’d be piloting a solo aircraft over uninhabited land, then yeah, I’m rooting for catastrophic engine failure.

    • tmhofficial - Apr 30, 2013 at 4:06 PM

      What is wrong with you?! Go away.

    • tuberippin - Apr 30, 2013 at 10:23 PM

      I take it you haven’t been a Yankees fan or a New Yorker for that long. Did you have a good laugh when Cory Lidle crashed his plane into a building and died, too?

  6. Darkoestrada - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:10 PM

    You laugh but Vernon wells and yuniesky betancourt have been 2 of the most valuable players in baseball thus far so maybe a little delmon young is all the phillies need to get going

    • kiwicricket - Apr 30, 2013 at 4:51 PM

      Hopefully having Wells, Young and Yuni at the All Star game will short circuit something and change the winner having home field advantage.

    • paperlions - Apr 30, 2013 at 5:37 PM

      Betancourt has a .305 OBP, he unequivocally has NOT been one of the most valuable players in baseball.

      • tuberippin - Apr 30, 2013 at 10:24 PM

        He’s also been mashing the ball for two weeks now. While that certainly won’t last, it’s a boost the Phils could have used, but they didn’t keep him.

      • paperlions - Apr 30, 2013 at 10:39 PM

        What he has been doing is making a lot of outs. Yeah, he’s hit a few HRs….and power is great, outs are bad and he’s making a lot of them. If he was on the Phils, how much would have played thus far?

      • tuberippin - Apr 30, 2013 at 10:46 PM

        He’s driving in runs, though his OBP remains an issue (but so does the team OBP for the Phils). The Phillies currently have one of the league’s more anemic offenses.

        As to the number of games, I’d say fourteen thus far, considering that’s how many games we’ve had Freddy Galvis and Kevin Frandsen appear in (plus 13 for Ezequiel Carrera). I’m not saying dude would be a panacea, merely that he would have been useful to keep around.

      • paperlions - Apr 30, 2013 at 10:56 PM

        The problem with guys like Betancourt…is that they suck…and then have a good month here and there to make you think they don’t. Betancourt has been horrible for years….any player can be useful with a little luck over a SSS….Kozma was fantastic last year after he was called up….but anyone paying attention knows that it was a SSS effect and not that he suddenly figured out how to hit.

      • tuberippin - Apr 30, 2013 at 10:57 PM

        I’m not saying he doesn’t suck. He does. Just less so than Ezequiel Carrera and about on par with Freddy Galvis, in my opinion.

      • paperlions - Apr 30, 2013 at 10:58 PM

        I agree with that. Galvis is a good defensive player though, isn’t he? Betancourt isn’t. I don’t know anything about Carrera.

      • tuberippin - Apr 30, 2013 at 11:05 PM

        Carrera we plucked off waivers from Cleveland. He’s effectively a cheaper replacement for Betancourt, but we just DFA’d him to activate Slim Young from the DL.

        I guess now that I think about it, Kevin Frandsen is currently the Phils’ Yuni Betancourt. About league-average bat (.650-.700 OPS territory), best as a reserve utility infielder, serviceable as a short-term injury replacement for a starter, no real glove to speak of.

  7. hisgirlgotburrelled - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:17 PM

    There have to be more posts dedicated to just Delmon Young since January than any other player, and that’s “weak sauce.”

  8. votefordelmon - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:17 PM

    Forgot to mention. You may think it is a pain to write in a candidate for the All Star game, so maybe you don’t want to vote for Delmon Young. But wait. You don’t have to write him in. The Phillies had the foresight to make sure he was listed on the ballot. So you can just go to and vote for him up to 35 times! Or if you are at the ballpark, you can just do the old fashioned ballot vote for Delmon Young, whose name you will see listed right there on the ballot!

  9. Jonny 5 - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:22 PM

    Fun for who Craig? I’m thinking you maybe? Hey, sometimes throwing crap at a wall to see what sticks actually works. Most of the time it just splatters everyone.

    • Francisco (FC) - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:48 PM

      Well Yuniesky and Vernon have so far stuck to the wall… let’s see how long until they slough off.

      • stex52 - Apr 30, 2013 at 3:54 PM

        A lot of people in our fantasy league seemed to think Yuni would stick for a while, FC.

      • stex52 - Apr 30, 2013 at 3:56 PM

        BTW, I bid. But I’m not too sure myself.

      • Francisco (FC) - Apr 30, 2013 at 4:16 PM

        So did I, mostly for the multi-position flexibility. Alas the cur-ball offered the juiciest contract. That just means he’s going to suck this week.

  10. evanwins - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:28 PM

    Why does everyone hate this guy so much? A commenter above wants him to die in a plane crash. I mean, really, come on. Like he’s a better person than anyone else? Wishing death on someone?

    I’m Jewish and I could care less what this guy says or has said. I’m sure there are a ton of bigot, racist baseball players who just never got caught saying anything offensive but have said plenty. And I highly doubt most of these commenters are as sparkling clean as they present themselves to be.

    What’s the difference between saying something about someone’s religion or saying something about their weight, which seems to be perfectly okay on these boards regarding Young.

    Give the guy a f***ckin’ break already.

    • tfbuckfutter - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:48 PM

      First, there is this:

      Second, saying things about religions is fine and dandy…..Judiasm is no more or less stupid than any other religion….however, Jewish is also sort-of an ethnicity, which is why it’s different than bashing someone for being a Jehova’s Witness.

      Weight and religion can be controlled….being born Jewish cannot. If a Jew converts to Christianity, he’s still Jewish…..if a Christian converts to Judiasm….well you can make fun of his religion then. But don’t make fun of him for being black, if it’s Rod Carew or Sammy Davis Jr. Because they can’t control that.

      • tfbuckfutter - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:49 PM

        Oh, but if you make fun of a Christian for converting to Judiasm, you can only make fun of the ideas of the religion….you can’t make fun of the Jewish stereotypes. Because that’s the ethnic part again.

      • evanwins - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:55 PM

        Wow. How ignorant can you be. You should just stop, you are not helping yourself.

    • snowbirdgothic - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:57 PM

      Speaking as a fellow MOT, my main concern isn’t with the idiocy he spouted while toasted off his nipples one night; he appears to have made a sincere effort to get his head together since then, and if he has, more power to him. We spend a lot of time tearing people down for dumb crap they do; if someone does make an effort to pull themselves together, they deserve some recognition for that.

      No, my concern is the fact that this guy is to baseball what Poison was to metal – superficially catchy but horrifically incompetent underneath. As a Phillies fan, I’d be much happier if he learned acquired a taste for kreplach while playing for Lehigh Valley.

      • snowbirdgothic - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:59 PM

        Damnit. Edit function, STAT!

      • stlouis1baseball - Apr 30, 2013 at 3:13 PM

        I am not sure what a MOT is. Man of Toga? But this shit right here is funny.

        “my concern is the fact that this guy is to baseball what Poison was to metal – superficially catchy but horrifically incompetent underneath.”

        I have no other choice but to offer this…

        I went to bed too late
        And got up too soon
        My poor head still spinnin’
        From too much booze

        I got a foot in the gutter
        A foot in the grave
        I ain’t seen home
        In the last three days

        Oh my god, look what the cat dragged in
        Livin’ my life sin after sin
        Night rolls up and I do it again
        Oh my god, look what the cat dragged in

        No tell, motel, hotel bed
        If it wasn’t for the sunlight I’d swear I was dead

        I got a girl on the left of me
        A girl on the right
        I know damn well I slept with both last night

    • historiophiliac - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:59 PM

      tfb’s gif says it all. If Svelte Delmon Young was Prince Fielder, people might joke about how many ribs he ate last night, but they wouldn’t be hating on him in doing so. (Instead, they’d be admiring the moobs — source of his hitting power!) I don’t think you’ll find many Tigers fans on here who are big supporters of DY — and it’s not just about the incident in NYC. randy’s kinda on his own with the death wish there, but it’s not crazy to dislike DY as a player and “representative of the sport.”

      • evanwins - Apr 30, 2013 at 3:13 PM

        Fine, Hate him as a player.

        But, I don’t see a lot of comments on his actual play. Instead I see a ton about his weight and him as a person. And not just on this post but ALL the DY related posts.

        If you don’t like him as a player, stick with that. There must be a ton of things you could say about his play right? So why does everyone just speak to his weight or his NYC incident?

      • historiophiliac - Apr 30, 2013 at 3:17 PM

        Well, I think he invited some of the weight stuff when he talked about eating too many good luck cakes, etc. Also, it didn’t help when the terms of his contract (incentives to lose weight) came out. But, yeah, fat-shaming sucks. I think people do it to him just cuz they don’t like him. It’s a way to pile on.

      • snowbirdgothic - Apr 30, 2013 at 3:18 PM

        We did. But there’s only so many times you can reference a .296 OBP before people start calling you a nerd, beating you up, and taking your lunch money.

      • Francisco (FC) - Apr 30, 2013 at 3:29 PM

        I’ll say my only concern is can he play adequate RF defense? I know he’s generally a good hitter. The other Young has so far played… average defense, so his above average hitting has been a net positive so far. Delmon needs to do something similar.

      • historiophiliac - Apr 30, 2013 at 3:32 PM

        I don’t think you’re going to get average defense from him…and the hitting is iffy too. He wasn’t consistent for us last season. But, you know, I’m not exactly hoping he works out for you all. 😀

      • evanwins - Apr 30, 2013 at 3:42 PM

        snowbird gothic:

        He is a career .317 OBP but he’s also a career .284 hitter who averages 84 RBI’s and 16 HR’s a season. Those are really not bad offensive numbers. Not at all. In fact, offensively his numbers blow away BJ Upton, who will make $15 Million more, or 16 times more, than Young this season.

        The knock on him is his defense, which seemed to be pretty good early in his career but severely declined.

        If you’re a Phillies fan, you hope he can produce more on offense than you lose on defense.

        And further to my point, there are a ton of players who are worse than Young, offensively and defensively, that don’t get picked on the way he does.

      • tfbuckfutter - Apr 30, 2013 at 4:00 PM

        “But, yeah, fat-shaming sucks. I think people do it to him just cuz they don’t like him. It’s a way to pile on.”

        I actually agree 100% with this.

        Personally, I won’t make fun of something someone can’t control, or CAN control but is unable to do so (like weight)…..unless they are an asshole.

        Then most things are fair game. So Delmon has proven he’s an asshole (with the NYC incident), AND he’s fat….so therefore he’s a fat asshole. Another example….Can Alex Rodriguez help it that he has blue fish lips? Nope. Is he a dick? Yup. That makes his blue fish lips fair game in my book.

        Delmon being terrible at baseball to boot is just the icing on the cake.

      • tfbuckfutter - Apr 30, 2013 at 4:05 PM

        “He is a career .317 OBP but he’s also a career .284 hitter who averages 84 RBI’s and 16 HR’s a season. Those are really not bad offensive numbers. Not at all. In fact, offensively his numbers blow away BJ Upton”

        Now you’re just being ridiculous.

        Delmon Young career OPS+ 98 (2% worse than an average player….so being worse than average would qualify as having BAD offensive numbers)
        BJ Upton OPS+ 104 (4% better than average. Not great…..but not only is he not “blown away” by Delmon, his numbers are BETTER)

        Well, that and BJ’s edge in WAR….14.9 to 2.6 (although BJ has just over 100 more games played, but I doubt Delmon will be making up that difference any time soon).

      • snowbirdgothic - Apr 30, 2013 at 5:00 PM

        To follow up on tfbuckfutter’s point:

        By OPS+, Young has had precisely two above average seasons in his career. Upton has had had one below-average season since he became a full-time player, and that was the year he was playing hurt.

        Young has played in 109 fewer games but has grounded into 34 more double plays. He trails Upton by 32 HR, a number which Young has never reached in a full season – and by 201 SBs. Upton leads by 10 in triples and 20 in doubles. Young has more RBIs, but that’s largely a function of hitting lower in the order – his best year, incidentally came hitting behind Upton. And then there’s the defense, which pretty much turns into comparing the Fred Durst “Behind Blue Eyes” to the Who original.

        By pretty much every conceivable measure, Upton is a far superior ballplayer.

      • evanwins - Apr 30, 2013 at 5:22 PM

        My point on this was more about the money. Which contract would I rather have on my team, Delmon Youngs or BJ Upton… And for me it’s Delmon Young.

        I just don’t look at players for their ability – I also factor in what it cost for that ability. As someone who has had to work in the business of talent I have always had to weigh money vs talent. But that’s just me.

        So what I was trying to say is that I like DY at $750K a hell of a lot more than BJ at $12M. And if the difference in $11M is a lousy 6 points of OPS+ than you can have BJ Upton, I’ll take Young every time. And most of snowbirdgoth’s stats, liek GIDP and SB, revolve around speed, which again is not worth the $15M difference…to me.

      • tfbuckfutter - Apr 30, 2013 at 5:59 PM

        You said: ” In fact, offensively his numbers blow away BJ Upton” right after suggesting that having a .284 batting average was something to be proud of in spite of the fact that his OBP is .317….and then pointed to RBIs as an independent measure of a players’ value.

        Admit it. You’re Ruben Amaro, aren’t you?

      • snowbirdgothic - Apr 30, 2013 at 6:31 PM

        So, “BJ Upton is just better at the things that make for a better baseball player, like not making outs”. Got it.

        evanwins, you may also want to check into their respective trendlines – there’s a reason your 84 RBI guy was out there on the market to be had for Big Lots money, and it’s because he’s not actually that good at baseball, and he’s getting worse. I’d rather pay $12M a year and get something back than pay $750K and get nothing, and that’s before we get into the opportunity cost of the roster spot, the ABs given to Young that might have gone to another player who could have made better use of them than Young did, and so on.

        And if you really insist on misquoting the stats I used, allow me to correct you. Upton has a career 6 point advantage in OPS+ weighed down largely by one season where he played injured. Young, on the other hand, has precisely 2 above average seasons in his entire career. Upton has advantages in speed-related skills, like SBs and GIDP. He also has advantages in power categories like HR and doubles, and he has an idea what to do with the funny thing made out of leather you stick on your hand.

        If you still prefer Young, God bless you and let me know the next time you’re playing in a money league, because I want to sit in.

  11. deathmonkey41 - Apr 30, 2013 at 2:50 PM

    LIttle known fact- Craig sleeps inside the carcass of a Tauntaun when not on the road.

    • tuberippin - Apr 30, 2013 at 10:33 PM

      That’s no way to talk about a man’s wife.

  12. sdelmonte - Apr 30, 2013 at 3:14 PM

    Craig, you are way too fond of that line. Time to find something new. Or at least something less old.

    • Gamera the Brave - Apr 30, 2013 at 5:27 PM


  13. mungman69 - Apr 30, 2013 at 3:24 PM

    I’m sure glad that I read all of these posts.

  14. andyreidisthegoat - Apr 30, 2013 at 4:21 PM

    So many errors. So little time. Too bad he couldn’t DH every day.

  15. DelawarePhilliesFan - Apr 30, 2013 at 4:26 PM

    It’s official – DH’ing and hitting 5th tonight

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