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Wanna buy Joe Morgan’s house?

May 1, 2013, 3:00 PM EDT

Joe Morgan headshot

And you know it’s Joe Morgan’s house because (a) none of the pictures show a computer anywhere in the joint; and (b) it’s stuck back in the 80s.

Seriously:

The Cincinnati Reds legend and integral cog in the Big Red Machine tabbed Frank Lloyd Wright associate Aaron Green to design the curvy, stone-hewn dwelling in 1980 – and, as one might surmise from the listing photos, not much has changed since that time … the 80’s vibe is furthered with raised beds, sunken living rooms and shag carpet for days…which is only outdone by the fantastic patterned linoleum in the kitchen that are reminiscent of those trips to grandmother’s house. And let’s not overlook the FernGully bathroom that has some of the most impressive green tile and leaf accents this scribe has ever seen.

Thing is: it’s a pretty sweet pad if you scrape away the finishes. Huge lot, nice grounds, good bones. Could be a mid-century modern palace if you get the right designer. I bet when Morgan built this thing people gawked and gaped at it like nobody’s business.

  1. Ralph - May 1, 2013 at 3:04 PM

    That can’t be right….not a single picture of Dave Concepcion in the whole place??

  2. sknut - May 1, 2013 at 3:06 PM

    It looks like a place where an adult movie was filmed.

    • chacochicken - May 1, 2013 at 3:38 PM

      Yep, two in fact, Double-Header and Sack Bunting

      • Ralph - May 1, 2013 at 3:47 PM

        Don’t forget about Backdoor Sliders!

  3. yahmule - May 1, 2013 at 3:20 PM

    Pull up the carpet and pry that “M” off the gate and I might consider this as a summer abode.

  4. josemartez - May 1, 2013 at 3:27 PM

    That looks older than the 80’s. I wonder if the asking price includes the cost of gutting the entire interior.

  5. chacochicken - May 1, 2013 at 3:30 PM

    Can I pay a little extra and get the laser disc players and his ’82 Cadillac Seville?

    • historiophiliac - May 1, 2013 at 9:40 PM

      The kitchen has extensive counter space and natural lighting I could pluck you by.

      • jcmeyer10 - May 1, 2013 at 9:59 PM

        Whoa whoa. I mean, I don’t judge a person for what they do in the privacy of their own homes but this is the internet. Not some kind of anything goes type of place. Will somebody think of the children?!

  6. bobwsc - May 1, 2013 at 3:31 PM

    same architect do Jackie Trehorn’s crib in the Big Lebowski?

  7. jwbiii - May 1, 2013 at 3:49 PM

    I’m surprised that Joe Morgan lived in Oakland. I would think that the very proximity of Billy Beane, who should never have written that book, would make him break out in hives or something.

  8. bengalsucker - May 1, 2013 at 3:49 PM

    You think that’s bad? Should have seen Marge Schott’s house that sold a year or so back here in Cincinnati. Huge but god it was disgustingly outdated and probably wreaked of cigarette smoke like an old bowling alley. That place was god awful. Such an ugly house in the middle of a great neighborhood.

  9. mybrunoblog - May 1, 2013 at 3:55 PM

    Oakland? I’ve been to Oakland. Sorry folks but why would anybody pay $2.9 million to live there?

    • hasbeen5 - May 1, 2013 at 4:00 PM

      The house has intangibles. Real esate comps are just numbers, can’t tell the whole story.

    • asimonetti88 - May 1, 2013 at 4:35 PM

      It’s probably in Oakland Hills, which is fairly nice. I laughed at your comment though.

    • 4d3fect - May 1, 2013 at 7:34 PM

      Two words: hipster gentrification.

    • anybodyinhere - May 2, 2013 at 12:13 PM

      To paraphrase Gertrude Stein, the trouble with Oakland is there’s no “There” there.

  10. Old Gator - May 1, 2013 at 4:02 PM

    This is something like the fourth or fifth garish ballplayer’s house you’ve offered for sale here, Craig. Are you working for the standard six percent or do you also charge a design fee for laying out the post?

    • jcmeyer10 - May 1, 2013 at 10:00 PM

      Well, he’s gotta make money somehow. Going to all those Spring Training games puts a strain on the wallet. I hear they are like 15 bucks a piece!

  11. Bar None - May 1, 2013 at 4:21 PM

    Shag carpet right up next to the edge of the bathtub. Yummy!

  12. cogitobaseballergosum - May 1, 2013 at 4:23 PM

    And it’s just one good quake away from being a nice beachfront property.

    • Old Gator - May 1, 2013 at 10:35 PM

      And then Lex Luther will buy it from you, but at gunpoint.

  13. hansob - May 1, 2013 at 4:35 PM

    I see consistency on the ballfield isn’t the only type of consistency that Joe is obsessed with. JOEBAIT!

  14. billgatesbarber - May 1, 2013 at 4:47 PM

    So which room was the Johnny Bench Memorial Suite?

  15. mazblast - May 1, 2013 at 5:05 PM

    Morgan owns a Honda dealership north of Cincinnati (across I-75 from the church whose fiberglass “Touchdown Jesus” got hit by lightning and burned down a while back). Rumor has it that he wanted to forbid the use of computer diagnostics in the service department, since in his day, mechanics got the job done by just rooting around under the hood.

    I liked what little I saw of the house, but it did have a 1970s vibe to it. I kept expecting to see guys walking around in doubleknit polyester leisure suits and gals with fat legs wearing short polyester skirts.

  16. APBA Guy - May 1, 2013 at 6:19 PM

    Definitely Oakland Hills. The realtor.com site also had Bob Melvin’s place he recently bought in Berkeley as well as Zito’s Marin place (for sale). Check out Zito’s place for a contrast to Morgan’s, though Melvin’s is a closer price comp.

    I love these features, though.

  17. bux1022 - May 1, 2013 at 6:22 PM

    Retro sheik! I kinda like it!

    • cogitobaseballergosum - May 1, 2013 at 6:33 PM

      Rudolph Valentino?

  18. louhudson23 - May 2, 2013 at 3:38 AM

    Jealousy is a helluva drug….

  19. stlouis1baseball - May 2, 2013 at 2:01 PM

    I think the Frank Loyd Wright influence is most glaring. Sure…the interior is dated. The 80’s are probably most accurate. But Frank Loyd Wright’s style sort of screams…old school.

  20. raidergreg2000 - May 3, 2013 at 8:03 PM

    All I can is PIMP !

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