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Great Moments in A-Rod hate

May 7, 2013, 9:25 AM EDT

New York Yankees' Rodriguez reacts to a reporter's question after arriving at the Yankees' minor league baseball complex in Tampa

If you thought that Kevin Kernan column I just linked was bad you haven’t read Bob Klapisch’s A-Rod column yet. Really, I feel like I should apologize to Kernan right now because compared to Klapisch’s his was like a Murrow op-ed.

Klapisch’s is like a parody of every A-Rod thing you’ve ever read. He says, with a straight face, that the Yankees are probably better off without A-Rod. Which, hey, I’ll grant that A-Rod is unlikely to be his old MVP self, but when the Yankees starting third baseman is Jayson Nix, such a claim is more about wish fulfillment than baseball analysis. A hobbled A-Rod still hit 18 homers and got on base at a .353 clip last year.

But what’s more comical about it is Kapisch’s armchair psychology of A-Rod. He diagnoses a “psychological dependence on PEDs” on A-Rod’s part. Then:

That’s where the need for PEDs comes in. Drill down deep enough and you find nothing but insecurity in A-Rod’s algorithms, the need to be loved, hailed, praised, all of which require a shot of steroids or a dab of HGH — anything that would guarantee A-Rod what he lacked most: approval.

It’s amazing to me that Bob Klapisch has maintained such a successful journalism career while simultaneously obtaining his psychiatry degree and spending all of those sessions with Rodriguez. A true renaissance man.

Or, maybe, Klapisch is just doing bullcrap armchair psychological analysis. In which case he can’t begrudge me for diagnosing him with A-Rod Derangement Syndrome. You see, when someone covers someone he dislikes for so long, one begins to feel guilt and shame for not spending his time around people he enjoys more. Thus, the mind tricks the subject into turning the dreary pursuit into something more noble and important so one does not feel he is wasting his energy on something as petty as hate. Now he has to literally save people and institutions from a MONSTER! He has a noble calling, now, to protect us from someone who is just as bad as, say, a serial killing psychopath!

Hahaha, I know. That’s silly:

This might be A-Rod’s dream, but as of Monday, the Yankees believe otherwise. They just added Freddy Krueger to the roster.

Oh. Well then.

  1. Alex K - May 7, 2013 at 9:33 AM

    I mean, A-Rod is History’s Greatest Monster.

    • tuberippin - May 7, 2013 at 2:04 PM

      Rankings:

      * Alex Rodriguez
      * Adolf Hitler
      * Josef Stalin
      * Pol Pot
      * Idi Amin Dada
      * Albert Belle
      * Nero
      * Ghengis Khan
      * Milton Bradley
      * Caligula

      • rbj1 - May 7, 2013 at 3:59 PM

        You left out Jimmy Carter.

      • historiophiliac - May 7, 2013 at 6:49 PM

        Hey! No token women on that list? Sheesh.

      • cackalackyank - May 7, 2013 at 11:12 PM

        What no Bin Laden Dishonorable mention?

  2. thebadguyswon - May 7, 2013 at 9:41 AM

    90% of the New York writers are equal parts asshole and idiot. Klapisch leads the pack.

    • billyboots - May 7, 2013 at 11:55 AM

      I thought Lupica was in charge.

      • skids003 - May 7, 2013 at 12:16 PM

        He is, but hasn’t been the same since Kingman stuffed him in his locker.

    • Old Gator - May 7, 2013 at 12:58 PM

      We use our occiptial lobe to process algorithms. Klapisch was drilling in the wrong place.

      It figures.

      • sabatimus - May 8, 2013 at 12:17 PM

        Balloq’s staff is too long.

  3. sdelmonte - May 7, 2013 at 9:47 AM

    There are times when, even though I am a Mets fan, I want to see A-Rod have the greatest World Series ever, just to annoy the sportswriters.

    • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - May 7, 2013 at 1:36 PM

      He basically did in 2009. They said he was being selfish, or said the pitchers were all having bad days. Then everyone started qualifying their stats: “If you take out 2009, ARod only hit .200/.250/450 in the playoff for his career” as if 2009 never existed.

      • sdelmonte - May 7, 2013 at 1:53 PM

        Yes, but you would never know it by the coverage of the Series. Or at least I don’t recall that. I just remember Matsui and CC. (Hey, did I hear correctly that Matsui is retiring, and as a Yankee?)

      • tuberippin - May 7, 2013 at 2:12 PM

        “greatest World Series [performance] ever”

        “He basically did in 2009″

        Uh. I wouldn’t go that far. Historically A-Rod has had almost all of his success in the playoffs against the Twins, who the Yankees played in the 2009 ALDS. He was outstanding in the 2009 ALCS, I’ll give you that (1.519 OPS) but he was less effective in the World Series, though still very useful. Moreover, it was Hideki Matsui that sealed the WS victory that year against my Phils…Godzilla’s Game 6 performance was just ridiculous.

        Since we’re talking steroid users, I’d assert that Barry Bonds had the greatest World Series performance of all time in 2002. 30 PAs, 4 HRs, 2 doubles, 13 walks (7 intentional), .471/.700 (!)/1.294 slash line with an insane 1.994 OPS…the Giants lost that series, but Bonds really should have won WS MVP for that effort.

    • bigharold - May 7, 2013 at 4:44 PM

      “There are times when, even though I am a Mets fan, I want to see A-Rod have the greatest World Series ever, just to annoy the sportswriters.”

      Which is telling. How screwed up does ones rant need to be to turn A-Rod into the underdog? This hysterical illogical, BS that passes for journalism if unfathomable. There isn’t a sing fact in here that is substantiated or isn’t hearsay and conjecture. It’s shameful that they hate the guy so much that it clouds there professionalism.

      NY Sports writers are getting to the point where you can’t read any of them.

  4. southofheaven81 - May 7, 2013 at 10:02 AM

    Freddy Krueger does have some skill with the glove.

    http://www.instantrimshot.com

  5. spideysdog - May 7, 2013 at 10:04 AM

    you may get me to show some sympathy for many who have come under the NY media hail storm. ARoid? not so much. As a life long Mariners fan who has watched the entire career of ARoid, there are a few things that are undebatable he is the best shortstop and one of the 5 best players to EVER don a mariners uni. he is unbelievably talented. I may well place him in the top 5 shortstops ever. he is also an arrogant insecure fake. his words rarely match his actions. and I mean rarely.

    • nategearhart - May 7, 2013 at 10:46 AM

      Because he is only a professional baseball player and not a teacher, a preacher, a judge, or any other career where a lack of honesty and integrity can actually have an adverse effect on the lives of others, your last 3 sentences just plain don’t matter. I don’t understand what you’re so worked up about. He’s just a baseball player.

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - May 7, 2013 at 11:39 AM

      his words rarely match his actions

      What does this mean? I don’t remember him while playing for the Mariners that much, but was he this generations version of Muhammad Ali? Or Floyd Mayweather Jr? Since he’s been on the Yanks he’s done nothing but spoken about the team, how the team winning is most important, etc.

    • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - May 7, 2013 at 1:39 PM

      As you say, one of the best players EVER, and he dared to want a contract that reflected that. Texas paid him tons more money, so he left Seattle. Anyone else would do the same. If you want to blame someone, blame Boras or more accurately, blame the Mariners for not matching the offer. But blame a guy for agreeing to be paid a buzillion dollars to play baseball? I don’t see what he did wrong there.

      • bigharold - May 7, 2013 at 4:55 PM

        “If you want to blame someone, blame Boras or more accurately, blame the Mariners for not matching the offer.”

        Actually, Tom Hicks, the Ranger’s owner at the time, pretty much bares sole responsibility. It wasn’t so much that he gave him a $250 mil contract it was that he out bid the nearest competing offer by $90 mil. It was the worst contract ever given in all of sports until Hank Steinbrenner was allowed out of the house with his check book and resigned him after A-Rod opted out.

        You’ll notice that he’s not the guy running the team any more. It’s his brother Hal, .. Harold that’s now in charge. It always a good thing to put a guy named Harold in charge no matter what the endeavor.

      • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - May 7, 2013 at 9:27 PM

        Either way, why do Seattle fans blame ARod for taking an extra $100MM or so over what their team was offering? It is silly.

  6. proudlycanadian - May 7, 2013 at 10:15 AM

    I remember an old story about Arod when he was eligible for the MLB draft. A scout for a team that was picking third or fourth, had his GM come out to see Arod play a high school game. After the second inning, the GM said that he had seen enough and it was time to go. The scout asked what was the matter and the GM replied that he was wasting his time as Arod would be gone before their pick.

  7. cur68 - May 7, 2013 at 10:15 AM

    I am so sick of all this mindless jumping up and down on Alex Rodriguez. He’s a ballplayer, not a priest. He’ll be back soon, and when he is, he’ll probably be better than he was last season. So that means he’ll be well above average. Lord knows I’d love it for all Yankees to suck it up big time, but this once I’m hoping for the opposite, just to shut some of these jackasses up. Sanctimonious pricks, the lot of them.

    • stex52 - May 7, 2013 at 12:44 PM

      You speak truth, Cur. You don’t particularly have to like the man. Most of the teams in the league would take him right now at his diminished abilities. He would still be better than what they have at third base.

      The rest is just mindless hate.

    • historiophiliac - May 7, 2013 at 12:48 PM

      Um, “jumping up and down on Alex Rodriguez”???? Urp.

      • tuberippin - May 7, 2013 at 2:15 PM

        It’s like Hop On Pop but more vicious. I think some of them may be wearing military boots.

      • historiophiliac - May 7, 2013 at 6:29 PM

        LOL That was exactly what popped into my head! Like the most wrong Hop On Pop ever.

  8. cackalackyank - May 7, 2013 at 10:21 AM

    Oh of course Klapisch, anyone that’s been paying attention the last ten years can see that being linked to steroids and HGH has just gotten A-rod TONS of approval. Seriously? …and he’s getting paid to write that crap.

  9. charlutes - May 7, 2013 at 10:45 AM

    Haha, so true. good read.

  10. manute - May 7, 2013 at 11:11 AM

    Craig, you are the Chris Crocker to A-Rod’s Britney.

    • pellypell - May 7, 2013 at 11:45 AM

      Had to Google “Chris Crocker”. Not sure if I should be impressed ort= sad that you know dude’s name by memory?

      • tuberippin - May 7, 2013 at 2:16 PM

        LEAVE

        MANUTE

        ALONE

        ;_____;

    • DelawarePhilliesFan - May 7, 2013 at 12:43 PM

      That was a good one – that would be an awesome spoof if someone out there has the Adobe CS talents

  11. stex52 - May 7, 2013 at 11:29 AM

    I cannot believe that I missed a career as a sportswriter. You get to travel. You get to drink a lot. You get to watch a lot of baseball. And you certainly don’t need to know anything.

    • cktai - May 7, 2013 at 11:41 AM

      You have to ask yourself though: do you have that burning sensation of irrational hatred and the ability to string together illogical conclusions from hearsay information?

      • stex52 - May 7, 2013 at 11:43 AM

        I don’t know. I can be pretty unreasonable.

    • sabatimus - May 8, 2013 at 12:23 PM

      This is one of the best strings I’ve ever read.

  12. largebill - May 7, 2013 at 11:45 AM

    What can you expect? New York is a city where a clown like Lupica is considered a giant in the business.

  13. alexb64 - May 7, 2013 at 12:46 PM

    I can’t think of another athlete that I’ve sorta rooted for purely because I found the media focus/treatment of him so childishly mean than A-Rod. It first came to me when I watched a game of the 2009 World Series & found myself cheering for him. He’s pretty typical of the kind of athlete that normally I can’t stand. Even the PED stuff doesn’t sway me to their side because like what I feel is the majority of fans, I just really don’t care about PED’s in sports anymore. The only people that seem to care are baseball writers & Bud Selig via the domino effect because so many of them are the puppet masters for the Hall of Fame & award voting. I get the sense them caring is the ONLY reason Selig gives a crap. So there it is, I don’t hate him maybe only because is the perfect example of what is wrong with the BBWAA.

  14. hitdog042 - May 7, 2013 at 1:10 PM

    Why do you constantly stick up for Arod. He’s a bum Craig. And I agree that the Yankees are better off. Stats don’t replace teammates. Nobody likes him. Except you. You think the Yankees want him back? They don’t.

    • Kevin S. - May 7, 2013 at 1:24 PM

      You have some kind of special insight on how the Yankees view A-Rod? He’s very close with Cano (only the most important player on the team) and has a long history of mentoring younger players as they reach the bigs, especially Latino players still dealing with culture shock. But even if he was somehow the worst teammate in history, please explain how Jayson Nix’s geniality makes up for the hundred points of OBP and hundred-fifty-to-two-hundred points of slugging they give up by having him at third every day instead of A-Rod.

  15. humanexcrement - May 7, 2013 at 2:46 PM

    People outside New York don’t seem to understand what the sports tabloids are: they are to sports what guys like Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity are to politics. They’re job is not real objective journalism, but sensationalism, being overdramatic, and telling people what they want to hear. And, pathetic as it is, there’s a major market for that sort of thing. Just ignore it–it’s nothing but a massive waste of energy getting pissed off at these guys. Yeah, they’re promoting stupidity to the tune of millions of dollars. Yes, they’re almost all hacks and their absurd success is a travesty. The question is, are you going to let it bother you? Why waste your energy?

    • skids003 - May 7, 2013 at 4:02 PM

      Add Rachel Madcow, Mayor Bloomturd, Pelosi and Reid and you’ve got a deal/.

  16. braddavery - May 7, 2013 at 4:04 PM

    Why is it that Craig focuses so much on being anti-anti-PEDs in baseball? It’s abundantly clear that Craig is pro-PED use in baseball and I find that very strange. He takes any and every anti-anti-PED stance there is and although never coming right out and saying he’s pro-PEDs, when reading his articles, it’s easy to see he’s against anyone who speaks out AGAINST PEDs and is FOR anyone who “doesn’t care” about PEDs in baseball. Why not just come right out and say it, Craig. You are pro-PEDs in baseball. You want them in the sport.

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