May 13, 2013, 8:52 AM EST
The media, particularly the Washington media, has spent several years now trafficking in some pretty major Bryce Harper hype. To his credit, Harper has lived up to that hype. More than lived up to it, in my view, to the point where the hype isn’t all that crazy.
So what to do you now if you’re a D.C. media type? You parody the hype as a means of telling everyone to not get too ahead of themselves in the Bryce Harper hype:
Harper at 20 vs. Jesus at 20: We’re talking “of Nazareth” here, not “Ivan de.” This was the toughest head-to-head matchup, but Bam-Bam wins again. Although he was purported to do some very good work as the Son of Man after 29, the New Testament has no record of Jesus between 12 and 30, often referred to by biblical scholars as “the silent years.” It’s assumed he was working as a Galilee carpenter for 18 years, but because there is no historical record, we can’t really say either way.
The only thing we do know is he didn’t crush two home runs on his first opening day, did he? One is considered the Messiah by many; the other saved baseball in Washington.
Or, I suppose, we could just watch and enjoy this guy’s game rather than decide whether he is overrated, underrated or properly rated. But that would leave a lot of columnists without things to do.
- Report: Two agents rumbled in the parking lot at the Winter Meetings 26
- Mets sign 40-year-old Bartolo Colon for two years, $20 million 38
- MLB rules committee decides to eliminate collisions at home plate 56
- Mariners sign Corey Hart to incentive-laden deal 28
- David Price would not consider an extension with the Mariners if he’s traded there 35
- Robinson Cano agrees to $240 million deal with Mariners (260)
- Report: Mariners willing to offer Robinson Cano a 10-year, $240 million deal (143)
- Report: Yankees have agreed to a three-year deal with Carlos Beltran (125)
- Brett Gardner is drawing “significant” trade interest (113)
- Managers, GMs to meet today to discuss the abolition of home plate collisions (113)