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Aroldis Chapman allegedly ate 18 pastries before Sunday’s game

May 21, 2013, 9:46 AM EDT


I heard someone mention this yesterday but thought they were joking. Andy Martino of the Daily News, however, quotes Phillies broadcaster Rickie Ricardo, who claims that Aroldis Chapman ate 18 cream cheese-guava pastries before Sunday’s game. The game in which he blew the save, giving up a walkoff homer to Freddy Galvis:

“Could you imagine cream cheese and guava on a baked pastry?” Ricardo said on the station. “Well, Chapman asked me for a box of 100, two boxes of 50. When I saw him on Sunday morning before the game, he was in the clubhouse, he had just eaten about 18 of them. He couldn’t breathe! I looked at my partner, I said, ‘he’s ripe for the taking today.”

Between that, the hotel room in Pittsburgh thing, the late night speeding ticket thing here in Columbus and the mound somersaulting business, I’m starting to get the impression that Chapman is very, very different than you, me and just about everyone else.

  1. 4d3fect - May 21, 2013 at 9:49 AM

    There is a gurgling noise a certain character in Rocket Man makes in a certain scene. Something similar may have happened here, perhaps?

    • apmn - May 21, 2013 at 11:03 AM

      I would love to watch that movie with Aroldis Chapman.

      Gotta go find that clip now and laugh hysterically as if I were still 12 years old.

      • bigmeechy74 - May 21, 2013 at 3:49 PM

        Ha. Pretty crazy that 2 of the 10 people that saw that movie found each other on this blog

  2. Marty McKee - May 21, 2013 at 9:50 AM

    Rama lama ding dong.

  3. fawnliebowitz - May 21, 2013 at 9:51 AM

    The Phillies broadcaster is named Rickie Ricardo? BABALOO

  4. jm91rs - May 21, 2013 at 9:59 AM

    Apparently there is a Cuban Bakery near Ricardo’s (the spanish language broadcaster) home that is pretty famous among Cuban players. They all ask Ricardo to bring a couple of dozen to them when they’re in town. He said it’s not abnormal to see a player down 10 of them at a time as they probably only get that particular Cuban delicacy a few times per year. It may have affected his performance in some way, but I don’t see this as a huge deal or a character flaw.

    I’d chalk this one up as just an amusing story rather than lump it in with the speeding, crazy hotel “girlfriend”, or somersault.

    • stlouis1baseball - May 21, 2013 at 10:02 AM

      If so…why does it sound like you are apologizing for him? LOL!

      • heyblueyoustink - May 21, 2013 at 10:10 AM

        Was that a real “LOL” or a “just because “LOL”. How do we really know you LOL’ed?

      • jm91rs - May 21, 2013 at 10:53 AM

        I am apologizing for him. I’m so sorry that he ate so many pastries and I’m looking for any reason to take the heat off of his lousy performance. Clearly he was under the influence of guava and Freddy Galvis’ home run should have an asterisk by it…..LOL

  5. stlouis1baseball - May 21, 2013 at 10:01 AM

    Ricky Ricardo broadcasts Phillies games?

    • deathmonkey41 - May 21, 2013 at 10:10 AM

      I wonder if he has Lucille Ball in his Top 100 Overrated Humans list like I do?

    • historiophiliac - May 21, 2013 at 10:13 AM

      He has some ‘splainin’ to do.

      • stlouis1baseball - May 21, 2013 at 10:14 AM

        How are you doing?

  6. cur68 - May 21, 2013 at 10:04 AM

    Ricky Ricardo Lives??? Awesome. Just, simply awesome.

    • heyblueyoustink - May 21, 2013 at 10:08 AM

      Yup, this post in general almost clamors for the “I Love Lucy” bakery assembly line scene.

      • DelawarePhilliesFan - May 21, 2013 at 10:13 AM

        Was actually a choclate factory, but well played!

      • stlouis1baseball - May 21, 2013 at 10:17 AM

        You don’t really know Blue. Valid question though.
        I am going to come clean. I didn’t laugh. But I DID ‘chuckle out loud’ a couple of times.
        If I would have written ‘COL’ everyone would have thought I was signing from Colorado.
        Or possibly Columbia, Missouri. Hell…maybe even the Country of Columbia.
        Just a whole knew set of problems for everyone.

      • heyblueyoustink - May 21, 2013 at 10:52 AM

        COL….. hmmm, has potential. Maybe i’ll run that one by the Urban Dicionary for a ruling.

    • jwbiii - May 21, 2013 at 11:10 AM

      Little Ricky and his wife run a Christian ballet company based in Jackson, MS. I am not making this up.

  7. DelawarePhilliesFan - May 21, 2013 at 10:11 AM

    The call from Ricardo:

    Galvis realiza una abajo de la línea, en el fondo en la esquina, y ….G-O-O-O-O-O-O-A-A-A-A-A-A-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L!!!

  8. andreweac - May 21, 2013 at 10:38 AM

    He clearly lacks the Willingness to Win. Of the Reds knew what was best for them they would trade him ASAP.

  9. Old Gator - May 21, 2013 at 10:53 AM

    There is nothing wrong with guyaba y queso pasteles. I have one or two per week, baked fresh at my local cafe Cuban down the street. When I’m away from Macondo for more than a couple of weeks, I start going into withdrawal for one. I fully understand what happened to Chapman. When they’re done well – and really, it’s kinda hard to screw one up – and they make contact with your palate, you have to marvel that it’s possible to have a sensation like that so far up your body. You must, of course, immediately metamutate the sabor of this sublime pairing of fruit and cheese with pastry with a hearty swig of cafe con leche, which rounds and completes this divine culinary experience the way pregnancy rounds and completes a night of stoned sex.

    • kevinbnyc - May 21, 2013 at 12:50 PM

      I’d argue that the pastries, accompanied proportionally by cortadito, could be considered a PED.

      • Old Gator - May 21, 2013 at 3:15 PM

        I would agree wholeheartedly. But you can, like Chapman, overdose.

    • anxovies - May 21, 2013 at 1:48 PM

      Whatever a guava is, I want one right now.

      • Old Gator - May 21, 2013 at 3:12 PM

        Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. Guavas are subject to a small wasp that lays its eggs in the fruit as soon as it ripens a little and rarely will you pick a ripe one that hasn’t been properly protected and bit into it without seeing little white things – or halves of little white things – wiggling in the wounded fruit.

        How do you prepare it properly? You have to put an expandable styrofoam “sock” over each fruit, and then a plastic bag over each sock-covered fruit, and tie the bag tight to the stem around the top with a bag tie before it ripens. The sock keeps the plastic bag from coming into direct contact with the skin of the fruit and cooking it like a magnifying glass would. And yeah, you have to do this with every single fruit you want to eat eventually or you’ll be getting lots of unintended protein with your vitamin C and fiber.

        How do I know this? because I used to have a guava tree to which I became a bag slave every fucking spring. It got hit by lightning some years back; I replaced it with a lychee tree and never looked back. I buy my guavas at the local fruit stand now – they still have the socks on them. Or, I get my dose at the local cafe Cubano in the same ambrosial form as Chapman does.

        FYI there are several forms of guava – Indian white, Indian red and the scrumptious little strawberry guavas. There’s also guava ice cream, guava jam and guava paste, with which you can make hellaciously wondrous crepes, pancakes and waffles.

    • Just a Fan - May 21, 2013 at 4:48 PM

      Damn Old Gator… I have to have one! Don’t think it will be easy to find a Cuban Cafe in Michigan though. I can get a Cuban Sandwich from the Deli down the street. But not many Latin choices in Grosse Pointe, Michigan.

      • Just a Fan - May 21, 2013 at 4:53 PM

        Thanks for all the Guava info. I just new they were delicious. Now I know how much work is involved, I will appreciate it even more.

    • stlouis1baseball - May 21, 2013 at 5:08 PM

      Wow. That is a whole lot of prep work.
      Now we know why these are most likely the priciest pastries in the world.

  10. onbucky96 - May 21, 2013 at 11:14 AM

    Dude could do EPIC feats at White Castle…

  11. blabidibla - May 21, 2013 at 11:24 AM

    Guava and cream cheese in a pastry shell = sublime eats.

  12. malbrecht4 - May 21, 2013 at 12:01 PM

    Another non-story from Craig

  13. unclemosesgreen - May 21, 2013 at 12:58 PM

    He can eat 18 pastelinos and go pitch – albeit ineffectively – but can he eat 50 eggs?

    • Old Gator - May 21, 2013 at 6:29 PM

      As in that great curtain line from Return of the Secaucus Seven, right?

      • unclemosesgreen - May 21, 2013 at 8:07 PM

        Do you mean, “Teach ’em the basics Bo – ugliest helmets in the world.”

        I just know I’ve heard that no man can eat 50 eggs.

  14. Big Jared - May 22, 2013 at 3:27 AM

    He’s not adapted to the American diet. If he’s not careful he will end up down the fat and bad path of Yuniesky Bentancourt.

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