May 22, 2013, 8:52 AM EST
This is a few days old and I have no idea how I missed it, but when Ned Yost was asked over the weekend about what he’s gonna do with the Royals struggling third baseman Mike Moustakas, he painted an image for us which, I feel anyway, will form a larger part of his legacy than anything he’s done at the helm of the Brewers or Royals ever will:
“You know what?” Yost said. “Maybe when we get home, I can go to the third base tree and pick another third baseman. … Obviously, third basemen who can hit and hit with power, they must grow on trees.
“They’ve got to. Like relief pitchers. And starting pitchers. Right fielders. Left fielders. First basemen. All of these guys must grow on trees, and you must be able to just go get another good one. A ripe one. Make sure it’s ripe.
“Those trees are at a hidden location but, obviously, they’re somewhere. Because that’s what everyone wants to do. Let’s just go pluck another one out of the tree. That’s the nonsense that really ticks me off.”
Know what would be a fun project? Figuring out which teams have the best trees. Like, for years the Dodgers had a right-handed starter tree. The Pirates used to have a strong-armed corner outfielder tree. The Giants had a pretty good outfield tree too. The Braves cultivated a rare plant which spit out Georgia high school starting pitcher spores for a good while. The Mets used to have a middle-of-the-field shrubbery that seemed to give off shortstop, second baseman and center fielder berries back in the 80s.
Really, the botany of baseball teams is an interesting topic. Shame, though, that the Royals are trying to plant things in what is apparently a desert.
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