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Futility Watch: A horrible week of failing for the Marlins and the Astros

Jun 4, 2013, 9:17 AM EDT

Casey Stengel

Sometimes I think these teams don’t WANT to be the worst in baseball history. Each has gained ground on the 1962 Mets:

  • Record of the 1962 New York Mets through 58 games: 16-42;
  • Record of the 2013 Houston Astros through 58 games: 21-37;
  • Record of the 2013 Miami Marlins through 52 games: 16-42.

The Marlins swept the Mets, who were no doubt trying to protect their own team’s record. The Astros are on a legitimate big boy winning streak, having taken six in a row including a sweep of the Angels.

Meanwhile, the Brewers (21-35) and Mets (22-32), while not nearly as bad on paper as Houston and Miami, are showing us an awful lot of awful lately too.  I don’t feel like it will turn into a four-way race or anything, but things are shaping up to be far more interesting on the futility front this year than first thought.

  1. tablescrappy - Jun 4, 2013 at 9:23 AM

    I think you flipped the MIA and HOU records.

    • Old Gator - Jun 4, 2013 at 9:35 AM

      Yep, he did. Craig! (Slap!) Wake up!

      The Feesh are four games ahead of the pre-Pleistocene era Mutts in the race for worst. I don’t know if Jimmythemarlinsfan plans on coming out from behind his thumb-down for the rest of the season, but it looks like he really needs to be Googling intensively for recipes for crow these days and checking the supermarkets to see if they’ve got any on sale.

      • ckbracer - Jun 4, 2013 at 10:20 AM

        No he did not The records are correct as stands..Really should pay closer attention.

      • Old Gator - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:30 AM

        Yes he did, and then changed them around at 9:17AM after being alerted to his Boehner by tablescrappy n’ me, but is still wrong: (a) Look at the time stamps on the original post (which was at 6:55 AM) and the two responses.

        Really should get up earlier.

        (b) Since we’re being so observant, when did 16 + 42 add up to 52?

        Really need more fingers and toes.

    • ckbracer - Jun 4, 2013 at 10:20 AM

      No he did not The records are correct as stands..Really should pay closer attention

    • ckbracer - Jun 4, 2013 at 10:21 AM

      Records are correct…Should be paying better attention before you give the Astros a lack of respect lol.

      • Old Gator - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:34 AM

        Your keyboard has a truly awful case of hiccups. Try putting that brown paper bag you keep in your nighttable drawer for the mornings after your blind dates over it and encouraging it stop sending ones and zeroes to your hard drive.

  2. mybrunoblog - Jun 4, 2013 at 9:25 AM

    These teams are so bad that I think we’ll be on the futility watch all summer long. It’ll be fun looking at both ends of the standings every morning.

    • Old Gator - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:45 AM

      Kinda like an exercise in statistical proctology, no?

  3. sleepyirv - Jun 4, 2013 at 9:34 AM

    Can we have them have a “Worst Series” after the season?

    • Old Gator - Jun 4, 2013 at 9:38 AM

      I think that’s a great idea. It would be the first and only time this year the Feesh might fill Macondo Banana Massacre Field. And we must bring back Muhammad Ali for the occasion; Scrooge McLoria has been laying so low the past month or so that without some blatant display of his signature crassness, people – whose memories are short, after all – might forget what a complete blowhole he is.

    • jcmeyer10 - Jun 4, 2013 at 10:29 AM

      As fun as that sounds, it would only embolden Scrooge. He would get extra TV revenue and would be inclined to spend less the next year to make sure he made it back to the Worst Series.

    • chadjones27 - Jun 4, 2013 at 10:33 AM

      Who gets the series trophy? The winner or the loser? And if you win the series, do you really win?

      • Old Gator - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:50 AM

        First of all, the proceeds from the games would be redistributed to season ticket holders – you know, like dividends – with an additional 10% to the ones who incurred legal costs trying to sue to be released from their obligations to purchase more season tickets the following year.

        The trophy would leased, at exorbitant rates, the the city councilmen and mayors who passed the bills raping their respective communities to build stadiums the communities didn’t want. The councilmen would be legally obligated to pay the lease until the money they wasted is completely repaid to the city or county. In those places where the community did want the stadiums to be built, the lease fees would be paid into the Bernie Madoff clawback fund.

    • mc1439 - Jun 4, 2013 at 1:51 PM

      This really is a good idea. I could see people really getting into this in an obnoxious fun way.

  4. mattintoledo - Jun 4, 2013 at 9:41 AM

    I feel like every year we underestimate just how bad the 1962 Mets and 2003 Tigers were. The Tigers’ (who I’m more familiar with) best SP that year pitched 194 innings, gave up 236 hits, walked 58 more, struck out only 46 and had a 4.67 ERA en route to a 6-17 record. Their second best position player (by bWAR) was Warren friggin’ Morris.

    You think you’re worse than THAT Marlins and Astros? Good luck.

    • historiophiliac - Jun 4, 2013 at 9:59 AM

      But now baseball is dying.

  5. southpaw2k - Jun 4, 2013 at 9:48 AM

    Man, if we can’t trust the Marlins and/or Astros to break the all-time worst record in the history of baseball, who can we trust?

  6. manchestermiracle - Jun 4, 2013 at 10:16 AM

    “Record of the 1962 New York Mets through 58 games: 16-42;

    “Record of the 2013 Miami Marlins through 52 games: 16-42.”

    No wonder so many people are uncomfortable with complicated stats. Even the simple ones are confounding. Today I learned that, in baseball anyway, 16+42 can equal 58 as well as 52. Somewhere Schrodinger’s cat is spinning….

    • paperlions - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:18 AM

      I think the cat is both spinning and not spinning…until you open the box.

      • Old Gator - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:38 AM

        You can tell the speed of Schroedinger’s cat or whether it’s dead…um…eh….well, never mind. Let’s just say that Buddha does not play knucklebones with the universe.

  7. waiverclaim - Jun 4, 2013 at 10:16 AM

    Astros are 21-28 vs teams not named the Oakland A’s, they’re a LOT better than people think (given, most people think they are the worst team to ever exist)

    • Bob - Jun 4, 2013 at 10:38 AM

      And they’re 20-23 if you take out the 1-5 mark vs. Rangers (we could play this game all day). They’ve played better lately, but it will still be an accomplishment if they don’t lose 100. This Astros fan would settle for that this year.

      • Old Gator - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:41 AM

        I love alternate hypothetical universes. You see, all bad teams throughout history had to play much better teams as well as teams that weren’t much better, and all of them also lost to teams that were even worse. So….? The records to which theirs is being compared, in the final analysis (my attempt to put a stop to this ridiculous line of thinking before it spreads to any vital organs), were established pretty much the same way the Astros, the Feesh, the Mutts and the Brewers are establishing theirs now. The Astros are horrible, but the Feesh are just horribler.

  8. stex52 - Jun 4, 2013 at 10:22 AM

    It’s good for the Astros to rise from the horrible to the merely bad. But no parades just yet, huh? We are still looking down the barrel of a 100+ loss season.

    • APBA Guy - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:18 AM

      But a sweep of the Angels! The Astros will always have that to remember from 2013. That and the 7-3 record against Anaheim (so far).

      • Old Gator - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:54 AM

        I fear that following generations will look back at a sweep of the Angels as currently disposed without being able to find in it anything of which to be especially proud. That’s like saying that the great great grandchildren of Italian fascisti would look back at Italy’s conquest of Ethiopia as a triumphant moment in the late Risorgimento.

    • rayvid - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:48 AM

      How do you come up with that? Past the really good teams like Texas, Detroit and AL East minus Toronto……who can the Astros NOT compete with??The Central has Detroit and a bunch of teams that never seem to figure it out consistently and we have handed Oakland 1/2 the games we’ve played them because of an ever evolving and maturing bullpen. Mark this down, they WILL NOT lose 100 games this season.

    • jeffa43 - Jun 4, 2013 at 6:04 PM

      Stex… My pal, sometimes… Just sometimes, as much as you hate to admit…. The cup is half full.

      6 straight… Swept a team that earns 6x what we are paying our kids..

      Young team we have the pleasure to watch develop and grow in front of our eyes..
      We not to long ago strongly disagreed.. You told me Domingo would never hit…

      Can’t you at least enjoy the moment? Loving the Stros playing like top level big leaguers.

      We are going to be ok Stex… 63 wins and you owe me a round.

  9. mattintoledo - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:09 AM

    At least whoever is the worst this season will get the first overall pick. The Tigers had to rely on the Padres’ ineptitude to have a 1:1 quality pick fall to them after their abysmal 2003 season.

  10. mattryannolan - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:24 AM

    This is what is annoying. The Astros have won 6 in a row and just beat people’s precious Angels 4 times in a row AT HOME to the Astros then you write this. So why can’t we talk about the Angels who just got swept at home instead of jump on a teams that is not playing terrible baseball right now. We get an article about how the Angels win 7 in a row but we don’t get one about how they go to lose 6 of their last 8 after that.

    I’m a Rangers fan which probably explains why I am so quick to jump on the Angels however. We get it the Astros aren’t that good but this article doesn’t do anything.

  11. mckeed45 - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:31 AM

    The Mets are protecting their legacy. 3-6 against Miami this season witha sweep last week.
    M E T S = My Entire Team Stinks ! ! !

    • Old Gator - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:43 AM

      They will have a pyrite opportunity for revenge this weekend. Let’s see how pissed off they are at themselves, shall we? Maybe we can bring back Tom Glavine to peetch the deciding game on Sunday.

  12. rayvid - Jun 4, 2013 at 11:42 AM

    This is a ridiculous article. First of all the Astros are the hottest team in baseball with a 6 game winning streak. AND they have the same number of wins as Milwaukee….an alleged contender…SO HOW IS THIS FAILING??? They just swept the Angels…another alleged contender…….and took 3 of 4 from the Rockies. Once again…NOT FAILING!

    They are not a contender..that’s obvious. And they will struggle against the really good teams like Texas. But they are not even close to as bad as the Marlins are and they are getting better. They’re not a bad team, they are a young team. Before posting something stupid and showing your complete lack of knowledge of baseball you might want to do a little research.

    • stex52 - Jun 4, 2013 at 1:12 PM

      A couple of thoughts for you Rayvid:

      1. You are missing the punch line of the article. He is saying that they are “failing” in their quests of being the worst team ever. It’s a joke.

      2. Optimism is a wonderful thing. But on June 3, 2012 the Astros were 23-31
      On June 4, 2013 the Astros are 21-37

      Last year’s team went 55-107. Not getting to 100 losses is still a big hill to climb. I hope you are right. But I’m not betting that way.

    • jwbiii - Jun 4, 2013 at 1:38 PM

      Also, this may become a weekly feature.

  13. MyNameIsWilliamBillForShort - Jun 4, 2013 at 12:42 PM

    Craig, I have to ask…is it as much fun trolling the ’13 Astros fans as it was trolling the Phillies fans the last few years? Now that the ’13 Phillies are mediocre at best, I have to say that it isn’t any fun trolling their fans anymore…nowadays, we Phillies fans seem to do just as well trolling ourselves. But it does seem that you have touched on a nerve comparing the Astros with the Marlins and the ’62 Mets. Kudos.

    • stex52 - Jun 4, 2013 at 1:13 PM

      Hey Bill, you are right about the Phillies and self-trolling. That’s one of the things I love about you guys.

    • thebadguyswon - Jun 4, 2013 at 5:24 PM

      Bah….just wait till October when we can return the favor to Craig when the Braves fail in the postseason….again.

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