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Heath Bell is the Diamondbacks closer

Jul 2, 2013, 5:44 PM EST

Heath Bell, a Proven Closer, is once again closing:


We now have conclusive evidence that Kirk Gibson is really a Dodgers’ sleeper agent. I mean really, he couldn’t help the Diamondbacks’ opponents win any better if he went back in a time machine to the mid-80s and plugged himself in at right field.

Eh, OK, jokes aside. Putz has problems too. Elbow and ineffectiveness problems. But any team putting Heath Bell into the closer’s role is kinda hard to take seriously as a contender.

  1. Old Gator - Jul 2, 2013 at 5:59 PM

    Depends on what they’re contending for. If it’s higher draft picks, the move makes perfect sense.

    • ptfu - Jul 2, 2013 at 10:04 PM

      The rest of the NL West approves this move.

  2. jayquintana - Jul 2, 2013 at 6:15 PM

    Even Don Mattingly’s going, “does Gibby know what he’s doing? Btw, Brandon League, are you warmed up yet to enter the 9th?”

    • yahmule - Jul 3, 2013 at 1:17 PM

      Making my eyelid twitch.

    • yahmule - Jul 3, 2013 at 1:17 PM

      Making my eyelid twitch.

  3. historiophiliac - Jul 2, 2013 at 6:30 PM

    Send him to the Jays! They need a Putz to close for Wang, Dickey, and Johnson.

    • koufaxmitzvah - Jul 2, 2013 at 6:56 PM

      You have a one track mind.

      • historiophiliac - Jul 2, 2013 at 6:58 PM

        C’mon, it goes perfectly.

      • koufaxmitzvah - Jul 2, 2013 at 6:59 PM

        Nothing wrong with letting your ya-yas out. I’m all for women’s lib.

      • stlouis1baseball - Jul 3, 2013 at 9:00 AM

        Yes she does Sandy.
        I fear she is hoping for a multiple HBPiD via a Wang, Dickey, Johnson, Putz quadruplefecta.

  4. schm1471 - Jul 2, 2013 at 6:44 PM

    Kudos on writing a Diamondbacks article sans “GRIT.”

  5. tuberippin - Jul 2, 2013 at 8:39 PM

    I’m sorry, but JJ Putz with an injured elbow is still as effective as Heath Bell is presently. Kirk Gibson is a crazy bastard.

  6. moogro - Jul 2, 2013 at 8:50 PM

    That would be an 80 grit Proven Closer. The most commonly used.

  7. dcarroll73 - Jul 3, 2013 at 12:02 AM

    Could it be that Gibson is yet another incarnation of The Doctor? Of course the Dodgers are the Daleks.

  8. yahmule - Jul 3, 2013 at 1:20 PM

    The hallmark of a shit manager is how resolutely irrational he becomes about his closer situation.

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