Jul 4, 2013, 8:40 AM EDT
Well, a partial blackout. It happened at midnight when the Kauffman Stadium computers shut down the lights either because they’re programmed to do that or because they have become self-aware and our death at the hands of the machines is imminent.
Well, maybe not so imminent. Murderous, self-aware machines could probably keep the lights off for longer than twelve minutes if they wanted to, but that’s all they could muster last night before John Connor or Emilio Estevez or whoever fixed them.
Those twelve minutes came on top of a two-hour thirty seven minute rain delay. Which means that (a) the game ended late; and (b) the machines would be much better served teaming up with Mother Nature of they’re interested in eradicating the human race. And frankly, Mother Nature has a much greater motive to kill all the humans, so let’s keep our eye on those two, OK?
- Bryce Harper walks in all four of his plate appearances, scores four runs 0
- ESPN pulls Curt Schilling off broadcasts for rest of regular season and Wild Card game 91
- David Ortiz is more likely to be boned in Hall of Fame voting for being a DH than for PED stuff 124
- And That Happened: Wednesday’s scores and highlights 74
- The Marlins are going to change everything except their biggest problem this offseason 53
- Drooling over Miguel Sano’s incredible numbers through 50 career games 35
- Matt Williams puts up another strong performance in his quest to get himself fired 105
- Settling the Scores: Tuesday’s results 81
- Sarah Palin sticks up for Curt Schilling, tells ESPN to “stick to sports” (266)
- David Ortiz is more likely to be boned in Hall of Fame voting for being a DH than for PED stuff (125)
- Matt Williams puts up another strong performance in his quest to get himself fired (105)
- David Ortiz tweets his happiness about the Deflategate decision (97)
- ESPN pulls Curt Schilling off broadcasts for rest of regular season and Wild Card game (97)