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Indians-Royals game first delayed by rain then by a blackout

Jul 4, 2013, 8:40 AM EDT

Maximum Overdrive

Well, a partial blackout. It happened at midnight when the Kauffman Stadium computers shut down the lights either because they’re programmed to do that or because they have become self-aware and our death at the hands of the machines is imminent.

Well, maybe not so imminent. Murderous, self-aware machines could probably keep the lights off for longer than twelve minutes if they wanted to, but that’s all they could muster last night before John Connor or Emilio Estevez or whoever fixed them.

Those twelve minutes came on top of a two-hour thirty seven minute rain delay. Which means that (a) the game ended late; and (b) the machines would be much better served teaming up with Mother Nature of they’re interested in eradicating the human race. And frankly, Mother Nature has a much greater motive to kill all the humans, so let’s keep our eye on those two, OK?

  1. breastfedted - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:00 AM

    If only a blackout would happen every time Craig is about to post another blog entry…

    • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:41 AM

      But then you wouldn’t have another opportunity to post something yourself, and continue to build the case for what a useless asshole you are.

    • fanofevilempire - Jul 4, 2013 at 1:31 PM

      is this what happens when you breast feed until 16, oh boy!

  2. jarathen - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:12 AM

    I hate when the electric bread knife goes crazy.

  3. Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:43 AM

    I think the computer turned the lights out so that kcrobert could continue to snooze, undisturbed per his request of yesterday, until the Royals empty their farm system for the iron Giant.

  4. breastfedted - Jul 4, 2013 at 10:02 AM

    [Hey! Look! A dude who just got his comment deleted and then got banned! Oh, happy day!]

    • historiophiliac - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:02 AM

      That is absolutely the WORST dick “joke” on here all week, and, let me tell you, there’ve been a LOT of dick jokes. Is it too much to ask that you be original and/or funny? I’m not being picky — one or the other. You don’t even have to make me laugh if you can be novel and interesting. Or, you know, you could skip your homophobic BS altogether. That would be better.

      • kcfanatic - Jul 4, 2013 at 3:21 PM

        Why is that Homophobic? Dudes aren’t the only ones eating cock sandwiches. Many a young lady has had their share as well. I think the point was that Gator was swooping in to please Craig, the same way a woman does before she marries the poor sorry bastard.

      • historiophiliac - Jul 4, 2013 at 3:50 PM

        I’m going to go slow for you: Craig is a guy. Gator is also male. That means this is not about heterosexual contact. Suggesting that Gator is a lackey of Craig’s is intended as an insult. Talking about sucking his penis makes it a sexually-oriented insult, which in our culture is a way of belittling a person. Hence, this is not a celebration of mutual homosexual love and respect. It’s a anti-gay (homophobic) insult meant to demean OG — if he actually cared or felt insulted by such ignorance, that is. But, your attempt to paint Gator as a woman who pleases some “sorry bastard” is equally insulting in it’s attempt to erase the homophobia by supplanting it with sexism.

        PS Your comment was also not funny or original. Up your game.

      • kcfanatic - Jul 4, 2013 at 3:23 PM

        “I’m not being picky — one or the other”

        That was your perfect chance to say “I’m not trying to be a prick…”

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 3:41 PM

        Because this moron Ted has regressed to similar comments in the past. It’s a pattern – he’s too stupid to appreciate that smarter folks than he is don’t consider being called gay or accused of homosexual behavior an insult; only Tea Party anencephalics, trailer trash, assorted other low lives and evangelical knuckledraggers and ignoramuses still cling to their habits of stigmatizing people with other preferences or orientations. He types himself with his own neanderthal behavior.

        Moreover, he doesn’t seem to get that Craig doesn’t need defending – he’s got the blog, not poor dumb Ted, and it’s a very nice way to make a living, and yes Ted, that’s too bad about you, isn’t it? No, I swoop in to remind Ted of what a schmuck he is, qua Ted. repeated excrescences of irremediable imbecility like Ted’s are sickening on their own terms. Craig has nothing to do with it.

    • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:04 AM

      He doesn’t know how to skip it. He’s hardwired to be a moron.

    • nbjays - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:52 AM

      And Ted swooping in to be a dickhead on every post by Craig or Gator. Some things never change. Ted makes me long for one of dirtyharry’s insightful posts.

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 12:25 PM

        Um – you do know that old saw about being careful what you ask for, right? I would think that one would have attained the status of Gospel verse in the RCAF.

  5. kcrobert10 - Jul 4, 2013 at 10:18 AM

    Hey old gator I took a nap before the game. My poor kids didn’t make it to the end of this one so that they could see fireworks. Hosmer hit a blast to win it late but yes I still belive the Marlins and royals should be in business sooner rather than later. The line-up of Dyson cf, Gordon lf, hosmer 1b, Stanton rf, butler dh, Perez c, moose/tejada 3b, gio/colon 2b, Escobar ss would be very solid in the central. If the royals could just score 1 more run a game they would be right in the race with Detroit and Cleveland. Any way need a nap again game time is 1 pm local so the ribs are almost done and the tailgating with the best bbq on the planet begins again very soon.

    • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:06 AM

      My ribs don’t go on till late afternoon – when the damned rain finally moves out. Spent the evening after I got home last night making mofongo with pork for lunch today. Gotta keep it tropical.

      Enjoy the ribs.

      • kcrobert10 - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:46 AM

        I love tropical food as much as anyone but here in the Midwest its stacks of burgers, chicken leg quarters, and a full rack of ribs smothered in jack stacks bbq sauce. Happy 4th to all. Think I might make my way out south when my Missouri tigers visit Athens, ga for a big game between the hedges.

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 12:44 PM

        Ah, then you transition to sides of hushpuppies. Not half bad. I made a batch of yellow corn cheese grits with redeye to go with a ham steak, biscuits and eggs this morning. Not quite hushpuppies but then hushpuppies are just lumps of sweetened grits deep fried.

        Anyway, I realize in advance that I am at a severe disadvantage comparing any meats on the grill in Macondo with the stuff you guys get out there in KC. You’ve got Temple Grandin certified quick and anxiety-free-killed beef and pork coming at you from just up the street. Most of our beef and pork, as well as our chickens (which is not even to mention our goats) were probably butchered in some Santera’s garage while bunches of acolytes were jumping up and down and hooting and whistling and scaring the living crap out of the critters in the process. Too much adrenaline in the meat? Are you kidding me? This is the only place I’ve ever been where you have to work a chicken breast with a veal hammer.

  6. breastfedted - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:32 AM

    [Knock knock! Who’s there? Banned! Banned who? I’m bannnnnnnnnnned!]

    • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 12:46 PM

      No, it’s an attitude common to trailer trash and idiots from both suburban and urban backgrounds, marked by ignorance, bad breeding (if any), horror of one’s own latency and in its exogenous forms by figural echolalia and an inability to write anything even remotely original, clever, pertinent or analytical. Sums you right up, doesn’t it?

      • historiophiliac - Jul 4, 2013 at 3:02 PM

        BTW, “sinus troggle” stumps Google. Either it’s nonsensical then, or HE BROKE GOOGLE!

  7. heyblueyoustink - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:45 AM

    Ted, you’re ruining the “Maximum Overdrive” reference in this piece, which is a shame.

    • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 12:26 PM

      Everything Ted touches turns to shit. He’s got the sadiM touch, you know?

  8. breastfedted - Jul 4, 2013 at 12:05 PM

    [Banned banned banned banned — I’m a giant dickhead — and now I am bannnnnnned!]

    • heyblueyoustink - Jul 4, 2013 at 12:09 PM

      Teenage angst has paid off well, now you’re bored and old.

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 12:27 PM

        Trust me, there’s a special kind of angst that’s incipient in “bored and old,” and we often blame it on having been teenagers to apologize to ourselves for our squandered middle age.

  9. breastfedted - Jul 4, 2013 at 1:12 PM

    [I am banned! I’m a tremendous tool! And I am bannnnnnnnnedddd!!!!]

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Jul 4, 2013 at 1:46 PM

      Craig is a white supremacist? Holy shit, since when?

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 2:02 PM

        Church: since Mentallymalnourishedted needed something hysterical to say about him. It’s another excresence of Ted’s imbecility. Save your shock for the next final-week implosion of the Braves.

    • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 2:05 PM

      Give it up, Ted. You’ve been so busy pinning that label on your own miscreant personality with your repeated gutterlife queer innuendos that you’re lucky you haven’t let all the air out of yourself.

    • historiophiliac - Jul 4, 2013 at 2:59 PM

      When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. But when I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

  10. sawxalicious - Jul 4, 2013 at 1:40 PM

    I vote that Ted gets the Bicepts treatment. All in favor?

    • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 2:06 PM

      Not quite yet. Let Ted finish making a complete toad of himself – he’s still got a few more dimensions of stupidity and crassness he hasn’t quite explored yet, and I’m not quite sure he’s exhausted all his possibilities for inadvertent amusement yet – and then he can be negatived.

      • wlschneider09 - Jul 4, 2013 at 2:25 PM

        Nah. I’ve seen enough. Let’s give him the boot.

    • 4d3fect - Jul 4, 2013 at 3:33 PM

      Eh, why bother to feed the troll?

      • 4d3fect - Jul 4, 2013 at 3:37 PM

        Or maybe s/he (it) could be hung by the thumbs. Would solve the thumb harpy unpleasantness too!

    • mazblast - Jul 4, 2013 at 5:06 PM

      Ah, let Ted rant a little more. I enjoy the backhands OG and historiophiliac launch in response to his indefensible missives.

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