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Settling the Score: Wednesday’s results

Jul 4, 2013, 7:50 AM EDT

Detroit Tigers v Toronto Blue Jays Getty Images

Happy Fourth of July. In honor of our Great Nation’s birthday, I slept in to the insanely late hour of 7:25 AM. I know. It’s like I’m in college or something. It’s so weird to see so much of the morning gone, but there we are. How you people do this on a regular basis is beyond me. 5:30 AM is where it’s at.

In baseball, Max Scherzer is now 13-0, Hanley Ramirez and the Dodgers continued his/their torrid pace, the Angels’ seven-game winning streak came to an end and Chris Davis hit another homer. Scores-wise, here’s what went down:

Tigers 6, Blue Jays 2
Brewers 4, Nationals 1
Diamondbacks 5, Mets 3
Red Sox 2, Padres 1
Pirates 6, Phillies 5
Orioles 4, White Sox 2
Marlins 6, Braves 3
Mariners 4, Rangers 2
Reds 3, Giants 2
Yankees 3, Twins 2
Dodgers 10, Rockies 8
Astros 4, Rays 1
Cardinals 12, Angels 2
Cubs 3, Athletics 1
Royals 6, Indians 5

  1. nbjays - Jul 4, 2013 at 8:00 AM

    Happy 4th of July to all my friends south of the 49th. Have a great weekend with your families and friends.

    Historio…. congrats on Mad Max reaching lucky number 13. He’s on a roll and it’s nice that he’s stepped up with JV having an off year.

    That said, I’ll be glad when the Tigers leave town.

    • proudlycanadian - Jul 4, 2013 at 8:12 AM

      Agreed! Have a great holiday!

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:50 AM

        I can’t. Yesterday, oscillating with excitement like a tuning fork at a dinner concert, I drove up to Hallandale to check out the Montreal-style deli to whose existence unclemosesgreen alerted me a couple of days ago – the one with real honest to Buddha smoked meat sandwiches (!) on its online menu. I even considered – seriously – a side of poutine (though I never understood why you guys would name a pile of french fries smothered in cheese and gravy after the president of Russia) to get deeply into the spirit of the thing.

        Closed for the season. Reopening on October 1.

        Fucking snowfrogs.

      • unclemosesgreen - Jul 4, 2013 at 10:15 AM

        Qu’elle dommage.

      • nbjays - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:09 AM

        At least you only have to deal with them for half the year.

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:52 AM

        That’s easy for you to say. You can prolly go get yourself a smoked meat sandwich any time you want one. Me, it looks like I won’t sniff one of the sublime things until my next trip to Toronto.

      • dirtyharry1971 - Jul 4, 2013 at 1:30 PM

        Josh Johnson has another 5 inning special yesterday, still has only “1″ win on the season how funny is that?? July 4th and this guy has “1″ win? hahahaha oh and the jays are 2 games under .500 and 10 back. Its time to pack your things and get ready for the long winter ahead folks, this team isn’t going anywhere!!! Biggest bust in MLB history!!

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 2:09 PM

        I warned ya, NB – Harry only crawls out from under his rock at times like this. Being incapable of actual baseball analysis, he was missing in action during the last winning streak and will disappear just as gutlessly for the next one.

  2. southofheaven81 - Jul 4, 2013 at 8:10 AM

    With the caveat that wins & losses are about as practically useful as alchemy, congratulations to CC on his 200th.

    • paperlions - Jul 4, 2013 at 8:42 AM

      Hey! Why the denigration of alchemy?

      • proudlycanadian - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:14 AM

        At the moment, we are tied in the thumbs down category with 32 apiece. Bet I beat you by the end of the day.

      • paperlions - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:39 AM

        Not if I am the tie-breaking vote. :-)

      • historiophiliac - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:04 AM

        Ha!

  3. uyf1950 - Jul 4, 2013 at 8:17 AM

    First off let me echo nbjays comment and wish everyone a Happy and Safe July 4th.

    The Yankees continued their mastery of the Twins to paraphase Bobby Smith’s “Little Green Apples”:
    …God didn’t make the little green apples, and it don’t rain in indianapolis in the summer time.
    And there’s no such thing as dr. seuss or disney land and mother goose, no nursery rhymes…
    God sure did make the Twins for the Yankees to feast on.

  4. padraighansen - Jul 4, 2013 at 8:19 AM

    Aramis Ramiriez still hasn’t made it to home plate from third on a 400 foot sac fly. Hell, Chris Berman with Rush Limbaugh and Rosie O’Donnell strapped to his back could have waddled home faster than Ramirez ran last night….even showed more effort. Absolutely inexcusable “effort” by Ramirez, and a microcosm of why Milwaukee sucks.

    • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:36 AM

      Aramis Ramirez is an old man. Leave him alone.

    • spudchukar - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:03 AM

      Thanks a lot. Now I have to live with the image of Berman/Limbaugh/O’Donnell in a ménage-a-trois.

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:08 AM

        Rosie is a screamer. Rush is lucky he’s deaf as well as stupid.

      • padraighansen - Jul 4, 2013 at 12:04 PM

        Sorry Spud. I’m a little shocked about the number of thumbs down for calling out a guy making $12m per year for loafing.

        Gator, he is old. But in all seriousness, his effort last night was disrespectful to the game. Had nothing to do with age.

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 12:21 PM

        Just you wait till you’re mainlining glucosamine, whippersnapper. Then you’ll understand.

  5. indaburg - Jul 4, 2013 at 8:50 AM

    I slept until after 7 am too! I felt absolutely hedonistic.

    The Rays only scored 1 run against the Astos right? That’s what I thought. 20 runs the first two days. 1 run last night.

    Happy 4th everyone. I hope y’all have a great day. I shall honor this great holiday by stimulating the economy, purchasing copious amounts of furniture in celebration of my own Independence Day.

    PSA: Please be careful with those fireworks. They are fun, but every year in the ER, we saw someone who did something foolish (if the preceeding words are “Here, hold my beer” prior to attempting something with a firework, please think twice. It’s nice to have all your fingers.)

    • proudlycanadian - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:03 AM

      Congratulations!

      • dirtyharry1971 - Jul 4, 2013 at 1:32 PM

        Congrats on another playoff less team pc!! hahahahahha Hope Gibson was smart enough to rent this time, lol

      • nbjays - Jul 4, 2013 at 1:54 PM

        Who the hell is Gibson, harry? If you are going to try and troll, at least get names right. The only thing worse than a troll is an incompetent troll.

    • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:38 AM

      Especially here in Macondo. You can’t signal to your fellow execrable drivers from that large unnamed island ninety miles south of Key West without the middle finger on your left hand.

      • indaburg - Jul 4, 2013 at 4:56 PM

        I always blow kisses to drivers who are so rude.

    • unclemosesgreen - Jul 4, 2013 at 10:16 AM

      Happy every kind of good day Burgie.

    • stex52 - Jul 4, 2013 at 10:28 AM

      They ran into Norris last night, Indie. He may not be a superstar, but he is the Astros’ ace, and it has fallen on him numerous times this year to break up the long losing streaks. He managed to hold them down enough for Chris Carter to do all the dirty work.

      It’s still a pitcher’s game, no matter how great your hitters are.

      Have a great Independence Day.

    • raysfan1 - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:19 AM

      Can’t win ‘em all, but I’m greedy so I want to.

      I’m wondering how long until Hernandez finds himself in the bullpen.

      • spudchukar - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:50 AM

        As soon as Cobb returns.

      • indaburg - Jul 4, 2013 at 4:56 PM

        The Faustian needs to do long relief. He has a 3 inning expiration date. If only Cobb was fully healed from his “minor” concussion.

      • raysfan1 - Jul 5, 2013 at 10:46 AM

        Agreed

  6. Brian Donohue - Jul 4, 2013 at 8:57 AM

    “How you people do this on a regular basis is beyond me. 5:30 AM is where it’s at.”

    – A very curious but common message for a day that purportedly celebrates independence: the translation would be “all who fail to live exactly like me are failures.”

    All I can tell this writer is that there is so much more to awakening than just getting up.

    • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:15 AM

      How twoo, how twoo. There’s avoiding sanctimony, which you apparently can’t. There’s also cultivating a sense o]f humor and a taste for irony, both of which you sadly lack.

    • dan1111 - Jul 4, 2013 at 12:06 PM

      Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

      Oh wait, sorry, there is no wrong side of the bed. You have the freedom to choose to get out of bed any way you want, even clambering over the end if that suits you the best.

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 12:23 PM

        Yes, there is a wrong side of the bed – the one my odd Hemingway hound, Fido, sleeps on during those rare evenings when he comes down from his corner by the ceiling. Try rolling over on him and you get a nasty assfull of quills. And this despite the megadoses of 3-6-9 omega oil I put in his water bowl.

  7. rockthered1286 - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:10 AM

    Happy 4th to all! As an extension to what has already been said about firework safety, the local news down here for Sarasota is telling me to be catious not to fire guns in the air, as apparently what goes up must come down? And can pierce a skull? Who knew….

    Oh and Crush Davis continues to destroy baseballs. On top of his HR he tacked on another double last night, 3 RBI altogether. He’s coming for you Miggy! Slowly but surely!

  8. hieronymous27 - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:14 AM

    Scherzer 13 – 0. There is still half a season of baseball left to play but could he be the third consecutive Detroit Tiger to win the American League MVP?

    • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:16 AM

      Isn’t it pretty to think so.

      • historiophiliac - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:06 AM

        Yes, it is.

    • nbjays - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:36 AM

      Cy Young, maybe, but Scherzer will win the MVP only if Miggy gets hit by a bus, Manny breaks his leg, Crush gets eaten by fire ants and Trout gets traded to the Marlins.

      Then it’s only a maybe, because you can’t count out Jeter, especially where sportswriters are concerned.

      • philliesblow - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:51 AM

        If not MVP, Jeter at least has a Gold Glove sewn up. After all, he hasn’t made an error this season.

      • nbjays - Jul 4, 2013 at 1:56 PM

        Good point. His mere absence has improved the Yankees’ team defensive numbers immeasurably.

  9. Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:34 AM

    I didn’t watch much of the Feesh game last night, but I did watch just enough to wonder how the Rainbow Warriors were able to score six runs off Mike Minor considering how he was throwing when I left the house. He was painting the outside of the plate against Ozuna and Stanton, both of whom continue their recent death spiral at the plate while the scrubbeenies took over again and did most of the damage. Justin Ruggiana, especially, with a homer and four ribbies, is the latest Feesh to streak, jacking his average about twenty five points or so since being stuck in the leadoff position while Peanut Head wilts on the bench.

    But the beeg story was Reecky Nolasco, trying to make his case to the Bums to slake Scrooge McLoria’s insatiable appetite for another set of recyclable prospects and rookies to replace the big money he’s got to pay Reecky as long as he hangs around the payroll. Despite Aaron’s sniggering and uninformed dismissal or Nolasco’s previous and anomalous start for the Feesh, the big guy hurled seven gutty innings of two run ball in the rain and got some unaccustomed run support, pocketed a win and his thousandth strikeout. If the Feesh brainstem trust can ackcherley get a deal done sooner than his next start he can exit Macondo owning the team’s alltime record for wins and K’s and games pitched.

    Henderson Alvarez finally makes it to the show tonight versus that Islamic militant guy Teheran. Hope the drones are all gassed up and ready to fly.

    • unclemosesgreen - Jul 4, 2013 at 10:22 AM

      It looks as though the 1962 Mets will be popping the champagne bottles early this year in their bizzaro version of the 1972 Dolphins’ celebration. And yes, I crossed the fourth wall and it was worth it, dammit. And I’d do it again.

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 12:55 PM

        The fifth wall is the barrier around Dosadi. Cross that one and you’d better have studied Gowachin jurisprudence more assiduously than Craig has.

  10. APBA Guy - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:52 AM

    El Capitan was a little off last night at the Mausoleum, lacking just that last bit of consistency that had made him Pitcher of the Month for June. The scrappy Cubs took advantage of that for a couple of runs, which turned out to be enough, because Matt Garza was doing his Ricky Nolasco “Hey Look at Me” imitation to potential trade suitors, holding the beloved A’s to 1 run. The worst part of an ugly night for Bay Area baseball? Not ganging up on Gregg in the 9th. Embarrassing.

    • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 10:05 AM

      Gregg has definitely visited the crossroads.

  11. historiophiliac - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:08 AM

    His Heterochromianess, y’all! Rowr!

    • nbjays - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:41 AM

      A seventeen letter word followed by “y’all” just sems so discordant.

      It’s like Ken Jennings meets Larry the Cable Guy.

      • spudchukar - Jul 4, 2013 at 11:56 AM

        Don’t try to understand Histo, she laughs at “Messin’ with Sasquatch commercials”

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2013 at 12:57 PM

        What would you call someone with three eyes with differently pigmented irises?

      • nbjays - Jul 4, 2013 at 2:00 PM

        A refugee from Chernobyl?

      • historiophiliac - Jul 4, 2013 at 2:44 PM

        Sorry. I’ll try to use smaller words for you all next time. ;)

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