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So you wanna work in baseball, huh?

Jul 4, 2013, 3:15 PM EDT

help wanted

Sure, the Atlantic League is only independent ball, but if you want to get your foot in the door working in PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL here’s an opportunity:

The Long Island Ducks, 2012 Atlantic League Champions, are looking for an outgoing person to be the main attraction in their new dunk tank. This is an hourly position that requires a unique personality and a tremendous amount of enthusiasm. “Dunk Tank Dude” will be in charge of drawing attention and generating revenue. Obviously, the ideal candidate is comfortable getting wet/dunked numerous times throughout the evening. The dunk tank is open every game.

If any of you guys need a reference, just let me know.

  1. proudlycanadian - Jul 4, 2013 at 3:19 PM

    I am sure that Dirty Harry needs the bath as I do not think that he has had one from 1971.

  2. tfbuckfutter - Jul 4, 2013 at 3:51 PM

    Take a closer look at the description.

    The “dunk tank” is really just Jose Offerman throwing bats at you until you fall into a pool.

    • historiophiliac - Jul 4, 2013 at 5:12 PM

      I was all excited at first because I read “drunk tank.” It really makes no sense to get dropped into water sober.

  3. historiophiliac - Jul 4, 2013 at 5:10 PM

    Can we nominate someone?

    • historiophiliac - Jul 4, 2013 at 5:38 PM

      And by “someone” I mean Valverde of course.

      • heyblueyoustink - Jul 4, 2013 at 6:48 PM

        Salsa Verde then?

      • jcmeyer10 - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:09 PM

        The question is, would they pay the plantain too?

  4. greymares - Jul 4, 2013 at 5:39 PM

    I’m nominating Craig if he puts his head in water, he has to take it out of his butt.

    • kcroyal - Jul 4, 2013 at 6:07 PM

      That thing between Craig and your mom was a long time ago. Get over it.

    • tfbuckfutter - Jul 4, 2013 at 6:56 PM

      Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think those words work in the order you put them in.

  5. jlovenotjlo - Jul 4, 2013 at 6:29 PM

    still beats working at walmart

  6. greymares - Jul 4, 2013 at 6:30 PM

    If alive my mom would be 105 and besides she liked men.

    • heyblueyoustink - Jul 4, 2013 at 6:44 PM

      Nice.

    • kcroyal - Jul 4, 2013 at 7:13 PM

      Well played.

  7. jayscarpa - Jul 4, 2013 at 6:35 PM

    I’m sure it is very important to the person applying to be “the main attraction in their new dunk tank” that the Ducks are the 2012 Atlantic League Champions.

    • jcmeyer10 - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:11 PM

      So I should write a cover letter then?

  8. larrytsg - Jul 4, 2013 at 6:49 PM

    Well, if I want to move back in with my mom at the age of 49 I could ride my bike across town and work at the dunk tank!

    Actually, I worked right next to the stadium when it was the psych hospital back when I was in high school. Great stories……

    • jwbiii - Jul 4, 2013 at 9:30 PM

      Having a place to live and transportation to the park would be a real plus. Entry level baseball jobs aren’t exactly lucrative.

      • mspauto - Jul 5, 2013 at 10:39 AM

        or easy to get!

  9. Minoring In Baseball - Jul 4, 2013 at 8:46 PM

    Awesome! I love the Minors and Indy Leagues! Great stuff, and I’m sure they won’t have to look far.
    http://minoringinbaseball.com/

  10. raiderinvader - Jul 4, 2013 at 8:47 PM

    no not particularly

  11. baseballisboring - Jul 5, 2013 at 5:13 AM

    I’ve always wanted a job like this, where I could get paid for being a douche. I’m really good at it.

  12. mspauto - Jul 5, 2013 at 10:38 AM

    I’d send a scout to see who can hit it on the first throw. First pitch strikes are very important in baseball!!

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