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Great Moments in not ignoring A-Rod

Jul 22, 2013, 1:38 PM EDT

Alex Rodriguez Reuters Reuters

It’s OK if you don’t care about A-Rod. If you find him irrelevant and annoying and wish he’d just go the hell away. Not everyone cares, nor should you feel obligated to.

Just do me a favor: if you’re one of those people, please don’t write 1,000 words for a national sports website about A-Rod, claiming you care so little about A-Rod. Because it kind of undermines your point.

Beyond that, I think A-Rod is the “Two and a Half Men” of baseball figures. All of the clever, in-the-know people act like no one watches that show and that it’s irrelevant and stupid and should just go away. If you read their stuff you’d think that “Mad Men” and “Game of Thrones” and “Breaking Bad” are what everyone’s watching. Meanwhile, “Two and Half Men” had bigger ratings than those three things combined.

That’s A-Rod. Well, he is based on what I’ve observed about website metrics and the general amount of attention anything about him gets from the broader sports-reading audience. We can still hate him. We can still make fun of him. We can say that, in objective terms, he’s way less relevant to the game today than whoever the baseball player equivalent of “Mad Men” is.

But it’s a lie to claim that no one cares, because a lot of people do. And pretending that you’re above that when you’re really not wears pretty poorly on a person.

  1. Stacey - Jul 22, 2013 at 1:40 PM

    Oh Greg Doyel, thanks for the laugh this morning.

    • apkyletexas - Jul 22, 2013 at 4:44 PM

      Ignoring people isn’t hard. I’ve successfully ignored Greg Doyel for his entire career.

      • Stacey - Jul 22, 2013 at 5:02 PM

        I usually do but I saw too many people talking about it and had to see it for myself.

  2. chiadam - Jul 22, 2013 at 1:41 PM

    Where is the “Great Moments in Stupidly Not Trading Matt Garza Yet” piece? It’s what the people want.

    • El Bravo - Jul 22, 2013 at 1:42 PM

      Patience Daniel-san, it is only 7/22/2013.

      • chiadam - Jul 22, 2013 at 1:43 PM

        I want an oompa loompa now!

  3. crispybasil - Jul 22, 2013 at 1:44 PM

    Can someone please write 1,000 words on what was going on in A-Rod’s mind when that photo was taken.

    • El Bravo - Jul 22, 2013 at 1:46 PM

      1,000 words on what was going on in A-Rod’s mind when that photo was taken

      Are we good now?

      • chiadam - Jul 22, 2013 at 1:47 PM

        “Hmmmmmm…..tasty, tasty nandrolone.”

        or something like that.

      • nbjays - Jul 22, 2013 at 2:50 PM

        or “I wonder if I can get her phone number… and her sister’s.”

    • Glenn - Jul 22, 2013 at 2:08 PM

      I think he was at a press conference listening to a stupid question from Gregg Doyel.

  4. El Bravo - Jul 22, 2013 at 1:45 PM

    Only ARod can be written about a piece written about how he shouldn’t be written about b/c he’s written about too much.

  5. sdelmonte - Jul 22, 2013 at 1:54 PM

    Meanwhile, at the worldwide leader’s site, a poll asks well informed fans when A-Rod comes back, and currently 49% think he never does. People just want to hate on him.

  6. sisisisisisisi - Jul 22, 2013 at 1:57 PM

  7. dluxxx - Jul 22, 2013 at 1:58 PM

    I think we can all agree that if A-Rod was a character in Game of Thrones, he’d be Joffery Lannister. Speaking in terms of pure lothing, of course.

    • heyblueyoustink - Jul 22, 2013 at 2:12 PM

      Her strikes me more like Jamie Lannister before he got his hand cut off, but either way, Arod is clearly a Lannister.

      • aceshigh11 - Jul 22, 2013 at 2:37 PM

        I take it Jeter would be Ned Stark, pre-beheading?

        And Pedroia’s GOTTA be Tyrion.

      • heyblueyoustink - Jul 22, 2013 at 2:49 PM

        Derek Jeter, King of the North.

        The shoe fits.

  8. heyblueyoustink - Jul 22, 2013 at 2:04 PM

    We need to cover any and all angles of the Titan Arod. I want dental records, contact list in his phone, what kind of slippers he wears at night when he gets home, who is barber is, is his barber on PED’s, who does he bank with, is the money clean.

    Check out his bloodlines, find out if he is really a descendent of Atlas who’s bloodline was then sullied by someone form the bloodline of Prometheus, producing this beast we bear witness to today!

  9. micknangold - Jul 22, 2013 at 2:08 PM

    Two and a Half Men is on CBS. That’s why its ratings are so much higher than the shows you mentioned.

  10. dondada10 - Jul 22, 2013 at 2:16 PM

    One of my favorite articles of the year is when Craig creates a post discussing which posts got the most views. I love it and wish there were monthly posts (or even semi-annual) which revealed such info.

  11. tbutler704 - Jul 22, 2013 at 2:17 PM

    Alex Rodriguez is the only polarizing player in MLB. Think about it….unless you’re a baseball fan, who else is there to get an argument going about? Ryan Braun cheating? 99% of people barely know who he even plays for.

    A-Rod is the Lebron of MLB, except without all the unbelievable talent anymore.

  12. acdc363 - Jul 22, 2013 at 2:20 PM

    LOL A-rod is the Two and a Half Men of baseball !! I love it Craig !!

    • nbjays - Jul 22, 2013 at 2:48 PM

      I guess a centaur qualifies as two and a half men…. who knew?

  13. Walk - Jul 22, 2013 at 3:38 PM

    I do not care a whole lot for arod at the moment as I believe his situation is largely his own fault. I do care that he was once one of the best players I ever had a chance to watch, and I do care about the effect he has on the game. So yeah I guess maybe I am a little disappointed but he made his own choices and ultimately he is the one who has to live with himself. He has the choice now to fight the claims or come clean. If he did use and gets a suspension or a ban his story and plight can still be an example to others. Even if you are one of those people who think he is completely worthless ethically as I do, he can still serve as a bad example. Sort of diverging from my point but arod once this all is settled may well be in one of those rare teaching points of his generation. He might even embrace his situation after his career is over and write and speak about it and in that way help others even if things are going badly now he still might have a chance to come out of this with some dignity.

  14. bills399 - Jul 22, 2013 at 4:03 PM

    arod was never a d bag like bonds however nobody seems to like him. how many people are coming out and supporting these two people (besides Craig). not to speak for everyone but I want a rod gone so I can move in watching the game. some of the records are tarnished like the home run record, however it gives fans hope that someone clean can take the records back. the sooner the people tied to this era like arod are gone the fame can move forward. as a Yankee fan, I can’t justify winning anything with him in the team

    • thumper001 - Jul 22, 2013 at 5:25 PM

      The way I read this article, it’s not about ARod at all, being neither pro nor con in regards to his troubles. It’s a piece about the manner in which some reporters are using ARod’s circumstance to sell their own rags, choosing a very old-school, deflecting style (which many apparently do not recognize) of trying (poorly) to hide their digs at the guy, while simultaneously saying they’re indifferent to his fate…

      Craig seems to be questioning here what the heck is up with that.

  15. thumper001 - Jul 22, 2013 at 4:45 PM

    So what did you think the old spinmeisters were saying when they pushed forth the (cynical) truism; “Any publicity is good publicity, even if it’s bad”?

    Thought they were just being radical chic (“bad is….good”)? Or is ARod’s case simply an example of mau-mauing (“I don’t care about ARod one way or the other, but I do think the SF 49er LBer corps should sack his sister, girlfriend, and the family dog in a highly suggestive R-rated manner”)?

    Yup, they’re mau-mauing, as it’s just not hip to be passionate about ARod anymore, at least in finer circles; hence, to get their shots in, they have to mau-mau him, so as to feign remote detachment (insert image of queen doing the “queen wave” to the unwashed masses) while venting their spleens.

    ARod should claim he drinks tiger blood, and is “winning”. Hire a room full of half nekkid beauties, standing waist deep in water surrounding him, while exuding the imagery of an old Fellini film, for an in-depth “ARod Reveals All” piece (yuk) on 60 Minutes.

    Wouldn’t solve anything, but let there be popcorn for everyone! Not since that guy from….oh, wait a minute.

    Actually, if ARod was smart, the lad should have himself a Warren Zevon moment; “Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money….the shit has hit the fan”.


    By the time Tom Wolfe published the book, Radical Chic and Mau-Mauing the Flak-catchers (1970), these two early to late1960s cultural phenomenons had mostly passed through the American system like a plate of bad clams, and were long ago buried. Though public mau-mauing has come up occasionally over the years, especially in politics. Should have just left them buried where they lie.

    Classic mau-mauing: feigning nobility while calling for the fates to rain down your dirty work on the person(s) you just gave the pass to with your “nobility”. Sounds like two-faced, backstabbing, huh? Maybe puts some perspective on the old O’Jays tune, “The Backstabbers”, which was huge back in the day when mau-mauing was in the final throes of its hay day. “They smile in your face. All the time they want to take your place…”

    Classic radical chic: “Do you know how much talent it takes to get people to pay a million dollars for a blank canvas, one that demonstrates absolutely no talent whatsoever? Massive talent. MASSIVE” P.S. Where I come from we called that BS, not talent, but YMMV.

    • km9000 - Jul 22, 2013 at 6:54 PM


  16. banpeds - Jul 22, 2013 at 10:40 PM

    Arod is Done. Hes getting at a minimum a 1 year ban, if not lifetime ban, As I said.

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