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World’s worst Derek Jeter fan fiction?

Jul 25, 2013, 3:49 PM EST

Is this an up-to-the-second report on the minutiae of Derek Jeter‘s injury status or the world’s worst erotic fan fiction? You decide!

source:

I sense gift baskets being an integral plot point.

  1. sdelmonte - Jul 25, 2013 at 3:55 PM

    I hate real people fic. And lord help us, there is a lot out there.

  2. dluxxx - Jul 25, 2013 at 3:57 PM

    50 Shades of Jeter???

    • historiophiliac - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:16 PM

      That’s the Cashman-A-Rod story.

    • apkyletexas - Jul 25, 2013 at 6:34 PM

      Alex Rodriguez, also covered in sweat and wearing nothing but a thong, ran into the dugout right behind Jeter…

      • nbjays - Jul 25, 2013 at 6:54 PM

        … his centaur mane flowing and his glossy coat glistening in the sun…

  3. mybrunoblog - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:09 PM

    Wallace Mathews seems almost excited by the fact tact Jeter was breathing heavy and sweating. Creepy. Very creepy.

    • jcmeyer10 - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:25 PM

      Wallace’s eyes lit up, naturally as he read the opening line about a sweaty Derek Jeter. His heart skipped a beat, he knew it wasn’t the heat. Derek was sweating for him…

      Yah, I don’t like this “fan fiction” either :D

  4. DelawarePhilliesFan - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:11 PM

    Through it all, he could not get his mind off the latest text message from a fan known as “Carlos Danger”

    • hittfamily - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:20 PM

      I wonder if Wallace has ever done any Wyoming “wide stance” toilet stall toe tapping.

    • mybrunoblog - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:21 PM

      Carlos Danger is a longtime associate of Ron Mexico.

  5. aceshigh11 - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:14 PM

    Second edit:

    “Derek Jeter swaggered into the Yankees dugout, his rippling, masculine chest heaving and glistening in sweat, having just completed two laps of the bases in the sweltering, steamy 90-degree Texas heat at close to full thrusting speed, his bulging thighs aching…”

    Okay…I think I’ve gone far enough…

    • proudlycanadian - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:19 PM

      Have you ever thought of a career writing Harlequin Romances?

      • jcmeyer10 - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:26 PM

        That’s what 80% of new fiction is in the Boston Public Library E-Book Section. It’s annoying. I would figure the market is saturated enough…

  6. hittfamily - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:17 PM

    This dude really wants Derek to leave a signed ball on his pillow.

    • DelawarePhilliesFan - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:35 PM

      uhhhh…..a BASEball, right?

  7. Francisco (FC) - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:22 PM

    World’s worst Derek Jeter fan fiction?

    It wasn’t me. Everyone knows I write Craig Calcaterra fan fiction.

    • apkyletexas - Jul 25, 2013 at 6:37 PM

      “World’s worst Derek Jeter fan fiction?”

      Mark Wahlberg shooting Jeter in “The Other Guys”.

  8. jcmeyer10 - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:27 PM

    Craig is going to write some Justin Upton fan fiction, or is he more of an Uggla guy?

    • DelawarePhilliesFan - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:37 PM

      Begins with a “H”, ends with a “r”, and has a “arpe” in the middle

      • bfunk1978 - Jul 25, 2013 at 10:05 PM

        And here I thought it was some sort of hair product that kept him standing on end during the HR derby…

  9. historiophiliac - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:45 PM

    I’d just like to say how happy I am that I found a site that satisfies my interests in baseball AND sexy dudes. HBT rocks.

    • DelawarePhilliesFan - Jul 25, 2013 at 5:02 PM

      Yes, well, I aim to please :)

      Oh, you meant Jeter and Harvey and all…

  10. jcmeyer10 - Jul 25, 2013 at 5:31 PM

    You missed the best part too… “Joe Girardi watched Jeter’s workout from behind…the cage”

  11. nbjays - Jul 25, 2013 at 6:57 PM

    “World’s worst Derek Jeter fan fiction?”

    This implies that there’s GOOD Derek Jeter fan fiction out there.

    Be afraid… be VERY afraid.

    • historiophiliac - Jul 25, 2013 at 9:36 PM

      Don’t worry. Girls’ bathroom stall — you’ll never read it. :)

      • nbjays - Jul 27, 2013 at 12:41 PM

        LMAO!

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