Skip to content

World’s worst Derek Jeter fan fiction?

Jul 25, 2013, 3:49 PM EDT

Is this an up-to-the-second report on the minutiae of Derek Jeter‘s injury status or the world’s worst erotic fan fiction? You decide!

source:

I sense gift baskets being an integral plot point.

  1. sdelmonte - Jul 25, 2013 at 3:55 PM

    I hate real people fic. And lord help us, there is a lot out there.

  2. dluxxx - Jul 25, 2013 at 3:57 PM

    50 Shades of Jeter???

    • historiophiliac - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:16 PM

      That’s the Cashman-A-Rod story.

    • apkyletexas - Jul 25, 2013 at 6:34 PM

      Alex Rodriguez, also covered in sweat and wearing nothing but a thong, ran into the dugout right behind Jeter…

      • nbjays - Jul 25, 2013 at 6:54 PM

        … his centaur mane flowing and his glossy coat glistening in the sun…

  3. mybrunoblog - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:09 PM

    Wallace Mathews seems almost excited by the fact tact Jeter was breathing heavy and sweating. Creepy. Very creepy.

    • jcmeyer10 - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:25 PM

      Wallace’s eyes lit up, naturally as he read the opening line about a sweaty Derek Jeter. His heart skipped a beat, he knew it wasn’t the heat. Derek was sweating for him…

      Yah, I don’t like this “fan fiction” either :D

  4. DelawarePhilliesFan - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:11 PM

    Through it all, he could not get his mind off the latest text message from a fan known as “Carlos Danger”

    • hittfamily - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:20 PM

      I wonder if Wallace has ever done any Wyoming “wide stance” toilet stall toe tapping.

    • mybrunoblog - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:21 PM

      Carlos Danger is a longtime associate of Ron Mexico.

  5. aceshigh11 - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:14 PM

    Second edit:

    “Derek Jeter swaggered into the Yankees dugout, his rippling, masculine chest heaving and glistening in sweat, having just completed two laps of the bases in the sweltering, steamy 90-degree Texas heat at close to full thrusting speed, his bulging thighs aching…”

    Okay…I think I’ve gone far enough…

    • proudlycanadian - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:19 PM

      Have you ever thought of a career writing Harlequin Romances?

      • jcmeyer10 - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:26 PM

        That’s what 80% of new fiction is in the Boston Public Library E-Book Section. It’s annoying. I would figure the market is saturated enough…

  6. hittfamily - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:17 PM

    This dude really wants Derek to leave a signed ball on his pillow.

    • DelawarePhilliesFan - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:35 PM

      uhhhh…..a BASEball, right?

  7. Francisco (FC) - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:22 PM

    World’s worst Derek Jeter fan fiction?

    It wasn’t me. Everyone knows I write Craig Calcaterra fan fiction.

    • apkyletexas - Jul 25, 2013 at 6:37 PM

      “World’s worst Derek Jeter fan fiction?”

      Mark Wahlberg shooting Jeter in “The Other Guys”.

  8. jcmeyer10 - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:27 PM

    Craig is going to write some Justin Upton fan fiction, or is he more of an Uggla guy?

    • DelawarePhilliesFan - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:37 PM

      Begins with a “H”, ends with a “r”, and has a “arpe” in the middle

      • bfunk1978 - Jul 25, 2013 at 10:05 PM

        And here I thought it was some sort of hair product that kept him standing on end during the HR derby…

  9. historiophiliac - Jul 25, 2013 at 4:45 PM

    I’d just like to say how happy I am that I found a site that satisfies my interests in baseball AND sexy dudes. HBT rocks.

    • DelawarePhilliesFan - Jul 25, 2013 at 5:02 PM

      Yes, well, I aim to please :)

      Oh, you meant Jeter and Harvey and all…

  10. jcmeyer10 - Jul 25, 2013 at 5:31 PM

    You missed the best part too… “Joe Girardi watched Jeter’s workout from behind…the cage”

  11. nbjays - Jul 25, 2013 at 6:57 PM

    “World’s worst Derek Jeter fan fiction?”

    This implies that there’s GOOD Derek Jeter fan fiction out there.

    Be afraid… be VERY afraid.

    • historiophiliac - Jul 25, 2013 at 9:36 PM

      Don’t worry. Girls’ bathroom stall — you’ll never read it. :)

      • nbjays - Jul 27, 2013 at 12:41 PM

        LMAO!

Leave Comment

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

Featured video

Bo Porter just first casualty around MLB
Top 10 MLB Player Searches
  1. J. Soler (3516)
  2. R. Castillo (2992)
  3. A. Rizzo (2882)
  4. A. Dunn (2803)
  5. M. Cabrera (2777)
  1. Y. Molina (2718)
  2. J. Ellsbury (2528)
  3. M. Wacha (2401)
  4. B. Posey (2390)
  5. D. Pedroia (2293)