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UPDATE: Biogenesis suspensions coming at 3pm today

Aug 5, 2013, 9:05 AM EDT

UPDATE: Now Jeff Passan reports that it’s more like 3PM:


9:05 AM: The Associated Press and several other news outlets are reporting that the Biogenesis suspensions will be announced at noon today. Very considerate of them to do it during our lunch hour, yes?

Word to the players has apparently already been given, as Jesus Montero — a guy mentioned in the Biogenesis documents — has informed team officials with the Tacoma Rainers that he won’t be with the team after today. It wouldn’t be at all surprising if affected teams started making roster moves to accommodate the loss of players even before the suspensions happen.

We’ll obviously have oodles of coverage of all of this. We’ll strive to make it fun and interesting, but frankly, I don’t know how we’ll top the Daily News and the Post. The Daily News will likely have several stories, one presumes, which have a lede of “A-Rod was expected to never play for the Yankees again …” despite only the Daily News reporting that with anything approaching certainty. Really, they had Rodriguez retired and claiming insurance scam money and all manner of things months ago. This development really does throw a wrench in all of that coverage, but I guess the best thing about being a tabloid is never having to acknowledge that the stuff you reported yesterday is nonsense in light of what happened today.

As for the Post: it’s already the leader in the clubhouse with best headline:


Buckle your seat belts, kids.

  1. blacksables - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:11 AM

    Is today going to be the first day of the rest of our life?

    • historiophiliac - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:46 AM

      It’s the last day of your life before The Great A-Rod Banning.

      • blacksables - Aug 5, 2013 at 10:13 AM

        You both disappoint me.

      • historiophiliac - Aug 5, 2013 at 11:20 AM

        Well, we might as well get that over with now. 😉

    • paperlions - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:55 AM

      Well, I hope so….because the alternative seems to be that it will be the last day of the rest of our lives, and I still got some shit to do.

    • fanofevilempire - Aug 5, 2013 at 10:06 AM

      TJ Quinn of espn said it will be announced @ noon, so who is wrong, MLB or TJ Quinn, ut TJ Quinn gets info from…….. MLB.

      what a joke!

  2. proudlycanadian - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:17 AM

    High Noon, starring Bud Selig as the Marshall. Some sidekicks will go to jail, but we only have eyes for AROD. The clock is ticking.

    • bigharold - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:39 AM

      Selig as Marshall, perhaps but he’s more like Gary Coleman than Gary cooper. And it’s a good bet he shoots himself in the foot.

      • proudlycanadian - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:46 AM

        Angel Eyes and The Flying People Eater went after Coop to no avail. With that comparison in mind, Bud will prevail.

  3. historiophiliac - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:24 AM

    Love the pic choice there.

  4. uyf1950 - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:25 AM

    Thank god, Hopefully this circus will be coming to an end sooner rather than later.

  5. jfk69 - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:27 AM

    Finally..I was never happy about Seligs role in the baseball owners collusion scandal a generation ago. Now we will find out how much of that 300 million he paid and how he became the Commissioner Of Baseball.

  6. stoutfiles - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:29 AM

    If the game is on TV, I may watch just to hear the boos when he’s up at bat, and the cheers when he flails at strike 3.

    • Walk - Aug 5, 2013 at 12:07 PM

      He might want to wear his helmet to the field if he is not the dh. Weather report today is partly cloudy with a chance of d cells.

  7. buffal0sportsfan - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:32 AM

    About time, let’s hope the appeal process is quick and we can just put this behind us.

  8. greymares - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:33 AM

    Going forward I’m in favor of lifetime bans for every P.E.D. infraction Whether it be an Adderal (sp) pill or a complete blood transfusion with H.G.H. innocent until proven guilty, but when found guilty, goodbye.

    • banpeds - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:54 AM


      • southofheaven81 - Aug 5, 2013 at 10:10 AM

        Let’s hang them! They made it impossible for me to stand in a corn field and stare at the sunset like Kevin Costner, thinking about how baseball is like the soul of America! Dirty bastards!

      • bigharold - Aug 5, 2013 at 11:46 AM

        Hangin’ too good for’em…

  9. bigharold - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:38 AM

    Reblogged this on bigharold.

    • bigharold - Aug 5, 2013 at 11:48 AM

      Sorry, I have no idea what the hell I did here. I was replying on an Iphone, .. that I’ve had for about a week.

      Fat fingers and virtual keyboards don’t mix

      • Walk - Aug 5, 2013 at 12:09 PM

        I did something similar earlier in the week. I made a wall of words kind of reply. I was in the process of editing it on my kindle and the page refreshed and it posted. Yaayyy for virtual keyboard and no edit function.

    • dluxxx - Aug 5, 2013 at 12:12 PM

      Et tu Harold?

  10. alexo0 - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:48 AM

    I gotta get to the Empire City Casino right away!

  11. southofheaven81 - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:48 AM

    Fuck Bud Selig & fuck the owners They made billions off these HORRIBLE CHEATERS & still pocket the money after villianizing them. Fight ’em for every penny A-Rod!

    • fanofevilempire - Aug 5, 2013 at 10:09 AM

      well said

  12. irishdodger - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:49 AM

    Selig should be handed a suspension as well for his complicity over the years that spanned the PED era.

    • fanofevilempire - Aug 5, 2013 at 10:09 AM

      yes, good point

  13. philliesblow - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:51 AM

    I hear that head line in Melvin Franklin’s bass voice. Now I need to play some Temptations on my iPod.

  14. Francisco (FC) - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:58 AM

    Craig had everyone in the conference room. They all sat in front of the viewscreen waiting for the video.

    “Craig you said this a serious matter?” said Bill, a recent HBT addition.

    Craig was at the screen working his remote and turned briefly to answer. “many bothans died to bring us this information.”

    Kay Adams raised her hand while trying to ask what were bothans but Gleeman intercepted her hand, lowering it and shaking his head at her. Don’t bother.

    The viewscreen activated with Craig giving a triumphant “Aha! Here we go.”

    Bud Selig appeared on the screen.

    “Project Biogenesis. A proposal by Major League Baseball

    What exactly is Biogenesis? Well, put simply, Biogenesis is clean wholesome baseball from a cheating and PED infested one. It is a process whereby molecular structure is reorganised at the subatomic level into baseball-generating matter of equal mass. Stage One of our experiments was conducted in the laboratory (leading to the familiar 50, 100 game and lifetime suspensions). Stage Two of the series will be attempted outside regular testing (leading to our current suspensions based on investigation, documentation and evidence). Stage Three will involve the process on planetary scale. It is our intention to introduce the Biogenesis device into the pre-selected area of lifeless baseball, such as the Mexican summer league or other dead form.”

    The screen had switched to a simulation of the globe with clearly marked locations for baseball activity with shades of color marking suspected PED use.

    “The device is delivered, instantaneously causing what we call the Biogenesis Effect. Matter is reorganised with baseball-generating results. …Instead of a tainted league we now have a living, breathing PED-less baseball operation, capable of sustaining whatever revenue streams we see fit to profit from.”

    And shot like a cannon ball struck the globe while Selig narrated causing a spreading wave to wipe out the earlier blots of color.The camera zoomed in until the outlines of individual players were visible, the small stains of PEDs inside fading to nothing. Selig continued.

    “The reformed baseball player simulated here represents the merest fraction of the Biogenesis potential, should MLB wish to fund these experiments to their logical conclusion. When we consider the cosmic problems of testing and drug supply, the usefulness of this process becomes clear. This concludes our proposal. Thank you for your attention.”

    • umrguy42 - Aug 5, 2013 at 10:25 AM

      I need more thumbs up for this. Star Wars *and* Star Trek II. Well done sir, well done.

      • Kevin S. - Aug 5, 2013 at 10:44 AM

        I’m just thumbing you up as a proxy for FC’s second thumb.

  15. steelers88 - Aug 5, 2013 at 9:58 AM

    Why don’t they ban this joker for the REST OF HIS LIFE!

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Aug 5, 2013 at 10:01 AM

      Gee, I don’t know? Rules of JDA/CBA maybe?

    • southofheaven81 - Aug 5, 2013 at 10:12 AM

      Why do I end questions with an EXCLAMATION POINT!

      • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Aug 5, 2013 at 10:16 AM

        I’m Ron Burgandy?

  16. sportsdrenched - Aug 5, 2013 at 10:15 AM

    Surely someone has money on whether this circus gets pushed back to 5pm (EDT).

    • jrbdmb - Aug 5, 2013 at 11:13 AM

      I’m voting for 3 PM Pacific, but it will be pushed back again before that. Bud is a bit slow in the mornings after all.

  17. buffalo65 - Aug 5, 2013 at 10:31 AM

    Good, now if the phoenix coyotes just move the two most sickening sports stories will be over with.

  18. whitdog23 - Aug 5, 2013 at 11:12 AM

    nobody eats lunch at noon. just an old, outdated perception…. not surprised a lame blogger uses it when he can’t come up with something original

  19. xujudadyveg - Aug 5, 2013 at 11:12 AM

    my friend’s ex-wife makes $84 every hour on the internet. She has been out of work for 9 months but last month her income was $19559 just working on the internet for a few hours. Here’s the site to read more ……. Max47.ℂ­ℴ­ℳ

    • historiophiliac - Aug 5, 2013 at 11:24 AM

      So, you’re doing your buddy’s ex?

      • dluxxx - Aug 5, 2013 at 12:23 PM

        Why do you think she’s an ex? I’m guessing she’s doing some sort of dog and pony show on a webcame. And when I say dog and pony…

      • dluxxx - Aug 5, 2013 at 12:23 PM

        “webcame” Freudian slip? The world may never know.

  20. Uncle Charlie - Aug 5, 2013 at 11:38 AM

    I hope he picks Miami not Cleveland.

  21. wpjohnson - Aug 5, 2013 at 11:47 AM

    Well. now it is 3:00 pm. What will be the next delay? It has been allegedly coming for weeks but keeps being pushed back. Don’t hold your breath. Look for anoher delay.

    Bud needs to go ahead and pee. he has worn out the pot with inactivity.

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