Skip to content

Several Biogenesis players are stunningly equally ashamed of themselves

Aug 5, 2013, 4:06 PM EDT

Jordany Valdespin AP

Here are the official press releases from seven of today’s 13 suspended Biogenesis players. These are words coming straight from the heart, let me tell you.

Antonio Bastardo:

Today, I was notified by Major League Baseball that I have been suspended for 50 games for violation of the Joint Drug Agreement. I have decided to accept this suspension and will not exercise my rights under the Basic Agreement to appeal. I made significant errors in judgment during the 2012 season and I accept full responsibility for those errors. I look forward to regaining the trust and respect of the Phillies’ organization, Phillies’ fans and my family, and look forward to helping the Phillies win a championship in 2014.

Fautino De Los Santos:

I was notified by Major League Baseball that I am to be suspended for 50 games for violation of the Joint Drug Agreement. I willingly accept this suspension and will not exercise my rights under the Basic Agreement to appeal. I made certain unsound decisions during the 2012 season and I accept full responsibility for those decisions. I look forward to regaining the trust and respect of the Padres’ organization, their fans and most importantly, my family. I look forward to helping the San Diego Padres in 2014.

Sergio Escalona:

I was notified by Major League Baseball that I have been suspended for 50 games for violation of the Joint Drug Agreement. I will accept this suspension and not exercise my right under the Basic Agreement to appeal. I made errors in judgment during the 2012 season and I accept full responsibility for those errors. I will make every attempt to regain the trust and respect of the Astros’ organization, their fans and most importantly, my family. I am hopeful that I can make significant contributions to the Astros in the 2014 season.

Fernando Martinez:

I have been notified by Major League Baseball that I am to be suspended for 50 games for violation of the Joint Drug Agreement. I accept this suspension and will not exercise my right under the Basic Agreement to appeal. I made a serious mistake during the 2012 season and I accept full responsibility for this mistake. I look forward to regaining the trust and respect of the Yankees’ organization, their fans and most importantly, my family. I am hopeful that I can make significant contributions to the Yankees in 2014.

Jesus Montero:

I have been notified by the Commissioner of Major League Baseball that I have been suspended for 50 games for violation of the Joint Drug Agreement. I have decided to accept this suspension and not exercise my rights under the Basic Agreement to appeal. I made certain mistakes during the 2012 season and I accept full responsibility for those mistakes. I look forward to regaining the trust and respect of the Mariners’ organization, Mariners’ fans and my family. I look forward to making significant contributions to the Mariners in 2014.

Cesar Puello:

Today, I was notified by the Commissioner of Major League Baseball that I have been suspended for 50 games for violation of the Joint Drug Agreement. Out of respect for the Mets’ organization, my teammates, and my family, I have decided to accept this suspension and not exercise my rights under the Basic Agreement to appeal. I made certain mistakes during the 2012 season and I accept full responsibility for those mistakes. I look forward to regaining the trust and respect of the Mets’ organization, Mets’ fans and my family, and ultimately helping the club win a championship.

Jordany Valdespin:

I have been notified by the Commissioner of Major League Baseball that I have been suspended for 50 games for violation of the Joint Drug Agreement. I have decided to accept this suspension and not exercise my rights under the Basic Agreement to appeal. I made certain errors in judgment during the 2012 season and I accept full responsibility for those errors. I look forward to regaining the trust and respect of the Mets’ organization, Mets’ fans and my family, and look forward to contributing to the Mets in 2014.

///

Yes, you guessed it, all seven share the same lawyer.

  1. nbjays - Aug 5, 2013 at 6:45 PM

    That is some funny shit right there.

  2. nhstateline - Aug 5, 2013 at 6:56 PM

    or they could have just said the last part of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_w4MV_LwMw “you go to the box, you sit by yourself for two minutes, you feel shame then you get free”

    • raynman49 - Aug 5, 2013 at 7:10 PM

      Good one! One of my favorite scenes.

  3. bmoreravens1012013 - Aug 5, 2013 at 7:01 PM

    This has to be a joke right? Somebody please tell me these cut and paste “apologies” are really just a joke ….Anyone, …..anyone….? ok ….guess not….un-freeking-believable….

    • papalurchdxb - Aug 5, 2013 at 11:32 PM

      It would have been less of a joke if one of them was issued and read “…and look forward to helping [insert team name here] in 2014.”

  4. galwayspaniard - Aug 5, 2013 at 7:27 PM

    As one commenter noted, he makes references that most Dominican and I believe 17 players are implicated (I guess Braun and Rodriguez are not but I am unsure where the other 15 come from). Does Biogenesis being in southern Florida have anything to do with this? Do the Dominican players chat with each other and thus all got steared to these “promising” drugs? If 15 of 17 are Dominicans there is some connection- is Biogenesis run by Dominicans?
    I guess people don’t want to comment on this as they will be accused of being racist or something but most of us realize this has nothing to do with race but with baseball players. I see no color here-just baseball players.

  5. goodguyattorney - Aug 5, 2013 at 7:32 PM

    I’m sure their lawyer charged each of them the same $1000/per hour for drafting that statement. A nice $7000k morning for him.

  6. granadafan - Aug 5, 2013 at 7:58 PM

    None of these guys are sorry. If you can’t stand in front of the cameras and hide behind your lawyer’s statement, then you’re not sorry at all.

  7. Sean Williams - Aug 5, 2013 at 8:47 PM

    Reblogged this on The Baseball Impurist and commented:
    Thought this was funny…

  8. dexterismyhero - Aug 6, 2013 at 9:11 AM

    Why didn’t they all start with the old line “Basebally been velly velly good to me”?

Leave Comment

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

Featured video

Pitching duel highlights Game 1 of WS
Top 10 MLB Player Searches
  1. M. Bumgarner (2802)
  2. T. Ishikawa (2743)
  3. J. Shields (2537)
  4. L. Cain (2171)
  5. T. Lincecum (2089)
  1. Y. Molina (2059)
  2. M. Morse (1816)
  3. Y. Cespedes (1807)
  4. B. Posey (1773)
  5. A. Wainwright (1750)