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The 1990s Pirates theme song and video is the stuff of unspeakable horror

Aug 10, 2013, 5:12 PM EST

I figure we’re about due for the 2013 Pirates to have some theme or theme song or motivational slogan or whatever else you get when a team springs into contention in inspirational fashion. But given that they’ve had over 20 years to prepare for this moment, I hope it’s good and not the unspeakable horror story that was their 1990 version, which Ted Berg of USA Today found and featured for us yesterday.

This is an extended “making of” video of that atrocity. The song and video in its entirety starts at the 4:45 mark:

  1. georgewashingtonsghost - Aug 10, 2013 at 5:25 PM

    Interesting that other than a very quick shot of him celebrating a Bonilla home run, Bonds isn’t in the video.

    • apkyletexas - Aug 10, 2013 at 6:05 PM

      Bonds was still a young, skinny, fast player back then, more known for his doubles and stolen bases. Bonilla was definitely the power guy, and locally, he and Van Slyke were the community favorites.

      That diving lay-out catch by Andy Van Slyke at 6:18 is insane. Those teams were loaded, but the strategy of the game had passed them by – they did not have specialist shut-down relievers for the 7-8-9 innings, and the Reds and Braves were able to push by them to the World Series for 3 straight years.

  2. skerney - Aug 10, 2013 at 5:30 PM

    “…and wherever cassette singles are sold.”

  3. wintwins - Aug 10, 2013 at 5:31 PM

    I think the Twins 1991 song is a FANTASTIC representation of the era, but I’m obviously biased.

  4. Jack Marshall - Aug 10, 2013 at 5:43 PM

    Maybe the Red Sox will let them borrow “Tessie” in honor of 1901. “Pirates” can substitute for “Red Sox.” Unless the Bucs play the Sox again, of course…

  5. bjbroderick - Aug 10, 2013 at 5:45 PM

    Bad indeed.

    Still think this is up there too.

    I love near the end, “We’re goin’ to the series!”

    • dirtyharry1971 - Aug 11, 2013 at 9:39 PM

      Jays wont ever have to worry about a new team song again, it should have been and still should be “a bridge under troubled water” cause that explains where they been and where they are at and will be for the next 30 years from now. NOWHERE!!!

  6. kiwicricket - Aug 10, 2013 at 6:01 PM

    Whatever, Craig…
    You would still give your bottom teeth for that hairstyle

  7. koufaxmitzvah - Aug 10, 2013 at 6:03 PM

    Further proof that a rocker’s ability is evidenced by the jacket. And hair.

  8. mplsjoe - Aug 10, 2013 at 6:17 PM

    The best part is that you can get a copy wherever cassette singles are sold.

  9. deepstblu - Aug 10, 2013 at 6:27 PM

    Some kinds of cheese do not improve with age.

  10. moogro - Aug 10, 2013 at 7:49 PM

    The “you” high note for the end climax was awesome.

  11. vicvega422 - Aug 10, 2013 at 8:24 PM

    Pittsburgh isn’t really known for catchy music.

  12. rcali - Aug 10, 2013 at 8:42 PM

    I don’t remember these people on Saturday Night Live at all. Great skit though.

  13. LampyB - Aug 10, 2013 at 8:51 PM

    Why dont the videos posted in the iphone app ever appear? Its such a waste, fix this shit its been happening forever.

  14. airedale1950 - Aug 10, 2013 at 11:32 PM

    …to an old man, it really isn’t all that bad. Better than the two hangers that used to be very very firm and nice.

  15. drone501 - Aug 11, 2013 at 1:50 AM

    long time pirate fan and i can’t seem to remember that song, thank god. but the pirates had a nice 5 yr run.

  16. soxpatsbscelts - Aug 11, 2013 at 1:55 AM

    Truly awesome!

  17. bbil2012 - Aug 11, 2013 at 7:47 AM

    “Meet The Mets” still no. 1.

  18. jfk69 - Aug 11, 2013 at 9:25 AM

    and the sitcom was great as well.
    Tug McGraw’s estate will put the kibosh on any reissue.

  19. bla bla bla - Aug 11, 2013 at 11:25 AM

    This made me want to beat a Nun… with a bag full of puppies.

  20. Francisco (FC) - Aug 11, 2013 at 5:30 PM

    THIS is the reason why the Pirates sucked for 20 years. It’s Karma’s way of saying: “See what happens when you produce that kind of slop? Do it again and I’ll make sure the Pirates don’t even SNIFF the playoffs for 40 YEARS instead.

  21. stlouis1baseball - Aug 12, 2013 at 12:39 PM

    Wow…that was…ummm…yeah.
    It was like a 70’s sitcom soundtrack. Yet…it was made in 90’? Embarrassing.

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