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And That Happened: SPECIAL BEN AFFLECK AS BATMAN EDITION

Aug 23, 2013, 7:16 AM EDT

Batman

Before the scores, some important Batman news. You may want to scroll down past this, because I’m gonna take a bit of time here.

In case you missed it last night, Ben Affleck has been cast as the Dark Knight in the upcoming Batman/Superman movie. Many people alerted me to this news last night the way you might alert a mother that her child has died. They tried to break it gently. They made sure that I was not in distress as I tried to process the news. When they saw me in a state less than tears, they assumed I was in the denial stage of the grieving process. It was quite the scene.

But while I thank my friends, real and virtual, for thinking of me and assuming that I would utterly lose it at the thought of Affleck as Batman, I’m really OK with it. Why? Because — and please brace yourself for some Real Talk — Christian Bale wasn’t anything extraordinary or irreplaceable as Batman. There, I said it.

“Batman Begins” was an incredible movie and, in it, Bale was fantastic. He played the young Bruce Wayne wonderfully and helped connect a, let’s admit it, somewhat silly character to us as viewers. It was real acting from a guy who is an incredible actor. “The Dark Knight” was an even better movie. Just perfect on almost every level. But Bale was nowhere near the best part of that movie. His growly voice as Batman may have been faithful to certain comic book interpretations and may have made sense in the “real world” version of Batman that Christopher Nolan was going for, but it was distracting. And his Bruce Wayne scenes, while fine, didn’t exactly require Oscar-level acting. You can almost see Bale getting a bit bored with the Wayne stuff at times. He’s above it.

“Dark Knight Rises” was a pretty bad movie. Let us not pretend it wasn’t. Some cool scenes and set pieces, but it was pretty weak. You may bristle at this — and, like a kid brother, I may defend it to outsiders who don’t understand that Batman is awesome overall — but among friends we need to be honest about the fact that it was a pile compared to the other two. And, I would argue, compared to the two Michael Keaton Batman movies in at least certain respects.

So: no, this isn’t like hiring Jack Lemmon to play Don Corleone in “Godfather Part II.” This isn’t like getting Robin Williams to play Hannibal Lecter in “Silence of the Lambs II: Electric Boogaloo.” Affleck has dark hair and a square jaw and as we saw in “Argo” he can play it straight and act like a real adult and not be some stereotypical Boston goon like we often consider him to be. He’ll be fine.

We survived Val Kilmer and George Clooney. We can survive Ben Affleck. End of rant.

[exhales, sits back, stares emptily into middle distance]

Dodgers 6, Marlins 0: Clayton Kershaw (8 IP, 5 H, 0 ER) is like Doctor Manhattan. So superior and gifted that the mortals bore and disappoint him. He’s likely considering going to another planet to find new challenges for himself. He didn’t even have his best stuff yesterday and no one could really touch him. It’s almost unfair.

Pirates 10, Giants 5: Quite the disaster for the Giants as Matt Cain left early after taking a comebacker off his right arm. Thankfully X-Rays were negative. The bullpen, sadly, was pretty negative for the Giants too. And while ten runs and a win was nice for the Pirates, they have to be worried about Jeff Locke, who is looking increasingly gassed and ineffective as the season winds down.

Reds 2, Diamondbacks 1: Four wild pitches for Arizona, a couple which set up the Reds run in the third and another that actually scored the winning run in the eighth. The Reds took three of four from the Dbacks, effectively burying them in the wild card race, one figures.

Yankees 5, Blue Jays 3: A lot of the people who think it’s a longshot for the Yankees to get back into the race and make the playoffs think this because the starting pitching has been so poopy lately. As such, seeing Andy Pettitte allow one run over six innings has to be, at the very least, encouraging. The Yanks have won five in a row and ten of twelve. A-Rod for MVP.

Twins 7, Tigers 6:  Chris Herrmann had a couple of RBI doubles, one of which was aided by Austin Jackson misplaying the ball. The Twins take two of three from Detroit.

Nationals 5, Cubs 4: Stephen Strasburg was one out from a complete game but then he ran out of gas and had some defensive miscues behind him allowing the Cubs to rally for three runs. Four innings later Denard Span doubled and some small ball scored him for the go-ahead and, ultimately, winning run.

White Sox 4, Royals 3: Chicago fought back from a three-run deficit to force extras and then Conor Gillaspie socked a homer in the 12th. Pretty sure that’s the first time I ever used the phrase “socked a homer” in my life. Weird.

Phillies 5, Rockies 4: Philly scored four of their five runs in the last two innings, capped with Domonic Brown‘s walkoff single. Oh, remember yesterday when I suggested that a walkoff sac fly was the least exciting walkoff event? I’m now thinking a walkoff balk qualifies. By definition it requires the absolute bare minimum of movement to happen. Like, a simple flinch could make it happen. Would love to see a World Series end on a walkoff balk. Joe Buck would probably capture that moment for the ages.

Cardinals 6, Braves 2: Joe Kelly wasn’t sharp but he was effective. Jordan Schafer was 0 for 5 with two strikeouts leading off for Atlanta. The Braves are gonna miss Jason Heyward something fierce.

125 Comments (Feed for Comments)
  1. crispybasil - Aug 23, 2013 at 7:30 AM

    I like The Dark Knight Rises a little less after every viewing.

    As for Kershaw – that guy is unreal. I’m a Red Sox fan, so I’m happy that the team will miss Kershaw and Greinke this weekend. But that means we’ll have to face Nolasco and Ryu, which ain’t no walk in the park. Really excited for these games.

    • aceshigh11 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:26 AM

      Wow, the Sox miss Kershaw AND Greinke??

      With the way they’re playing, that’s not just dodging a bullet…that’s dodging a daisycutter when you’re standing in the middle of a goddamned defoliated cornfield like a demented, 80-year old Cary Grant.

      • crispybasil - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:10 AM

        Unfortunately, they still have to deal with that Dodger offense.

  2. Kevin S. - Aug 23, 2013 at 7:32 AM

    I’m curious what makes you say TDKR was a bad movie. I mean, if you didn’t like it, that’s fine, but you just kind of assert it as fact without anything there. I liked it, so neenerneenerneenoo.

    I saw on Twitter yesterday (I think it was Joe Sheehan and Jay Jaffe talking about it, but not sure) that since the ASB Kershaw has allowed seven runs and driven in five. Just absurd.

    • bfunk1978 - Aug 23, 2013 at 7:54 AM

      I was kind of thinking the same thing.

      The one thing that bugged me about it was an audio production issue – Bane was OMFG SO LOUD compared to everything else. How did that escape post? Craig says Bale’s grumbly voice is distracting and I say no, this is way more distracting.

      • jarathen - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:09 AM

        I think Bane’s audio was altered (moreso) after a negative reaction to early teasers and trailers complained about how his voice was impossible to understand.

      • bfunk1978 - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:17 AM

        holy crap. can’t say that now.

        If that’s true it’s probably because it’s so muffled, and that’s because it has to be with his mask and whatnot. I get it. But good grief.

    • Craig Calcaterra - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:06 AM

      Personally speaking, I prefer my Batman movies to have Batman in them doing Batman things. 95% of Bale’s scenes in this movie could ave been any action hero from any movie. Fist fights and doing shit with a helicopter. Bah.

      • proudlycanadian - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:12 AM

        Trout Batman all you want, he will never outhit Miguel Cabrera.

      • heyblueyoustink - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:19 AM

        The Hulk would. You would just have to get him to focus on running the bases after, not breaking team mates during obligatory high fives, and not to “smash” the pitcher if the pitcher is expressing ” frontier justice” by throwing at him.

        A bench clearing brawl would be a disaster.

      • aceshigh11 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:37 AM

        I’ve watched TDKR many times, and I sort of agree with you.

        The one thing, the unforgivable thing that bugs me to know end, is the BEYOND tired trope of relying on a goddamned bomb with a DIGITAL TIMER built on the side of it.

        Why not just put an ACME logo on it and have Marion Cotillard set it off using one of those old-timey TNT plunger detonators from Bugs Bunny??

        It might be minor, but it totally took me out of the film.

        Speaking of which…she sort of sucked. I hated that ham-fisted expository dialogue just before she tried to blow up Gotham. Nolan is WAY better than that.

        However, that whole ending sequence is just all sorts of awesome. Chokes me up even. And don’t get me going on Batman’s final exchange with Gordon. That was beautiful.

        Also: Anne Hathaway’s ass in that jumpsuit bent over on the Bat Bike. Yowza.

      • Old Gator - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:26 AM

        I prefer Christian Bale when he’s pointing a nail gun at Chloe Sevigny’s head. I could give a masticating ungulant’s toot about Batman, but boy, was he wonderful in American Psycho. Hey, run that disquisition on Dionne Warwick’s aesthetic evolution again, will you?

    • aceshigh11 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:28 AM

      What do you mean, he’s ASSERTING it as fact?

      Anyone who says a movie is good or bad is inherently stating an opinion.

      Even if Craig says it like it’s a declarative statement of fact, anyone with an ounce of common sense will simply interpret his view of a film as what it can clearly only be: his opinion.

    • jarathen - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:13 AM

      I like how TDKR was about legacy. It’s not about Christian Bale’s Bruce Wayne as Batman; it’s about BATMAN the unkillable legend, and how Bruce Wayne can retire, and how Joe Gordon-Levitt’s Robin can take the mantle to keep the legend alive and relevant.

      The only element of the film that I didn’t like is how the entire series has been about escalation, about how each side keeps getting a bigger weapon out to stop the other side, and then super-rich Bruce Wayne responds to this by leaving a retired street cop holding the Batbag while he summers in Europe with his new girlfriend.

      • bfunk1978 - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:20 AM

        Like it or not that’s totally believable. The man was a wreck physically. Time to retire.

      • jarathen - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:51 AM

        I get that he can’t do it anymore. I just hope he left a few hundred suitcases full of cash behind for him.

    • American of African Descent - Aug 23, 2013 at 1:55 PM

      Why was the 3d batman so bad? Let me count the ways:

      1. You’ve got an bomb that will explode because of nuclear decay, yet you can apparently measure the rate of that decay down to the second using a digital timer even though the bomb is not in a controlled environment? Just a really weak premise there, even for a superhero movie.

      2. Oh, here’s a really exciting plot twist, NOT — the bad guy is not really a bad girl. How trite.

      3. An entire city is held hostage and there is no way of getting anyone out? None? No special forces? No submarines? No stealth way of sneaking people and equipment into the city? Again, even for a superhero movie, that’s pretty unrealistic.

      4. Batman isn’t doing Batman things. Most of the movie he’s a lame cripple who has apparently forgotten how to fight. And then his knee is miraculously better because he puts some brace on it? Yet he doesn’t have that brace when thrown into the pit, but is still able to escape?

      5. Bruce Wayne gets his identity stolen? Really? That’s pretty weak, too.

      All in all, I’d rather “Batman And Robin.” At least that movie — for all of its many faults — was fun.

  3. indaburg - Aug 23, 2013 at 7:37 AM

    What?! But Ben Affleck was part of a thing called Bennifer, or some shit like that. Batman? Really? I’ll keep an open mind. Dead Poets Society, Argo, Dogma, and the underrated Hollywoodland. But then there’s Daredevil, Pearl Harbor, and oh god, the humanity–Armageddon. I’ll keep an open mind. I will.

    So how ’bout that Kershaw? Seriously.

    • Old Gator - Aug 23, 2013 at 7:39 AM

      Vassar Clements was better.

      • Old Gator - Aug 23, 2013 at 7:40 AM

        Seriously?

        Seriously?

      • proudlycanadian - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:14 AM

        I agree with Gator about Vassar Clements although I was partial to Django Reinhardt

      • Old Gator - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:23 AM

        ….in the sense that a guitar is a partial fiddle?

      • proudlycanadian - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:32 AM

        You were writing about fiddles a bit later, but if you want to discuss guitarists, how about Wes Montgomery and his song “Masquerade” which may or may not be about costumed heroes

      • Old Gator - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:32 AM

        I just figgered I’d find a way to let you segue gracefully away from confusing Django with Grappelli.

        Incidentally, just got my tickets for YYZ for November 21-24 to see Cowboy Junkies, Lee Harvey Osmond and the Skydiggers performing The Kennedy Suite at the Winter Garden on the 22nd – special musical program on the 50th anniversary of the Kennedy Assassination. You might seriously want to look into this. I’ve heard quite a bit of it and read most of the lyrics already – remarkable project. The Massey Hall web site has a link to their ticket page.

        Oh, and the smoked meat donuts at Caplansky’s (drool)….

      • richarddansky - Aug 23, 2013 at 11:57 AM

        If you can get there, I highly recommend Allen’s. Best burger I’ve had in my life, and a scotch list longer than my arm. I mean, OK, I’ve got short arms, but still.

      • Old Gator - Aug 23, 2013 at 12:45 PM

        That, of course, is a burger challenge one can hardly pass up. Okay, where is this place located?

        I wonder – if you ground up enough smoked meat (along with an egg as a binder) to form a hamburger and grilled it, how would a smoked meat burger work with a wholegrain roll, lettuce, tomato and onions?

      • richarddansky - Aug 23, 2013 at 5:44 PM

        http://www.allens.to/ for Allen’s, Gator. And I believe the burger viande fume’s been done – there’s a couple of places in NY, at least, that have them.

    • sportsdrenched - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:42 AM

      You forgot about is turn as Jack Ryan in Sum of All Fears. For the longest time SoAF was my favorite book. I was disapointed in the movie because they make Ryan a younger guy, and a big subplot in the book as Ryan’s aging and his strained relationship with his wife. When I read a Jack Ryan book I still picture a middle aged Harrison Ford. None of that is really Ben Affleck’s fault. But since we’re off the baseball reservation I just thought I’d take this opportunity to trash Sum of All Fears the movie as opposed to the book, which is awesome.

      • indaburg - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:18 AM

        I agree. I always pictured Ford as Ryan. Affleck was miscast.

        To bring it back to baseball (tangentially), what did you think of Ford as Branch Rickey?

      • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Aug 23, 2013 at 11:48 AM

        Alec Baldwin or gtfo

      • km9000 - Aug 23, 2013 at 12:24 PM

        I always thought Baldwin would’ve made a better Batman than Keaton.

        The best is still Kevin Conroy from the 90s animated series. And Mark Hamill’s Joker!

    • Francisco (FC) - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:48 AM

      What?! But Ben Affleck was part of a thing called Bennifer

      He still is, he just changed Jennifers…

      • indaburg - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:40 AM

        Glad you’re keeping up on his love life, FC. :-)

      • Francisco (FC) - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:57 AM

        The wife is a big Ben Affleck fan :) Much like I’m keeping abreast of Bryan Adams.

      • indaburg - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:58 AM

        Suuuuuure…. the “wife” is a fan. Big brown eyes, chiseled jaw, those cheekbones. It’s all you.

      • Francisco (FC) - Aug 23, 2013 at 11:02 AM

        Naw, not my type. Though by your description he seems to fit your type. I’m more shallow than that. More partial to the Bernadina types like Mr Cur.

      • cur68 - Aug 23, 2013 at 11:28 AM

        Hey, hey, hey! Hands off Roger Bernadina, you Venezuelan Lothario! I saw him first.

      • Francisco (FC) - Aug 23, 2013 at 11:37 AM

        But he’s on MY team now :) I do say he does at least make the Phillies LOOK better (Even if he can’t seem to hit worth a damn anymore).

      • indaburg - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:36 PM

        Ha! I missed that comment earlier. I didn’t do that on purpose. But you’re right, come to think of it. I wasn’t describing Affleck at all, was I?

    • sandpiperair - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:06 AM

      Affleck was not in Dead Poet’s Society. Were you thinking of Good Will Hunting or School Ties?

      • indaburg - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:20 AM

        Total pre-coffee error on my part, sandpiper. I was absolutely thinking Good Will Hunting, not Dead Poet’s. I got my Robin Williams in Serious Actor Mode movies mixed up. Thanks for catching that.

    • cur68 - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:59 AM

      pssssssst!!!!
      /whispering:

      We can’t criticize “Bennifer”.

      Why? Well, “Ri-Hanna” anyone? I don’t know about you, but THAT makes me cringe.

      • indaburg - Aug 23, 2013 at 11:22 AM

        LMAO

        I just spit up my salad. Thanks. Oh lord. Ri-hanna.

    • phillyfrank - Aug 24, 2013 at 2:19 AM

      I’m with you, Indaburg…keeping an open mind. I remember when Brando was cast to play Don Corleone and everybody wailed and gnashed their teeth…and then Brando turned in one of the more iconic character portrayals in cinema history. I think Affleck is a fine actor and judgment should be reserved until the film comes out.

      • indaburg - Aug 24, 2013 at 8:43 AM

        I agree. He’s shown some maturity as a director and actor. I think he knows how important Batman is to fans.

        I had a better casting idea last night though. Kershaw as Batman. Think about it. He’s perfect. He might actually be Batman.

  4. Old Gator - Aug 23, 2013 at 7:37 AM

    Yes, it was Kershaw, and yes, we already knew he was the best fiddler since Judge Holden, and no, the Feesh had no prayer of beating him. Even so, they got hung with their fifteenth shutout of the season yesterday, with five weeks of baseball left to play. At some point soon, of course, Scrooge McLoria’s brainstem trust is going to pull an El Topo and blow open the cave, admitting a rush of little mutants into the show from their redoubts in AA (hic!) and AAA. One can only guess how many Brobdingnagian strings of scoreless innings the Kreamsicle Kids have left in them.

    • scoutsaysweitersisabust - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:58 AM

      How DARE you talk baseball in our Batman thread!

      • Old Gator - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:37 AM

        Can’t lose for winning. If I talk other stuff, I get called out for not talking baseball by our three or four resident myopics. If I talk baseball, I get called out for not talking Batman (which is especially funny ‘cuz I used to hang out with Bob Kane’s daughter at the Tamarac Resort in the Catskills when I was a kid and he had a bungalow there). Better deal with it or I’ll start talking politics, you Fourierist coelenterate, you….

      • scoutsaysweitersisabust - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:40 AM

        Ugh, now you’re making me pull out the dictionary. Such a poopy face!

        Can we skip the politics and go strait into religion? Maybe we can cause the thumbs down system to crash!

    • Old Gator - Aug 23, 2013 at 11:48 AM

      Sure. Did you hear about Salman Rushdie’s new novel – Buddha, You Fat Bastard?

      • scoutsaysweitersisabust - Aug 23, 2013 at 3:33 PM

        South Park taught me that all major religions are wrong.

  5. alexo0 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:07 AM

    So your rationale for accepting Affleck as Batman is that the standard is so low that it really doesn’t matter who it ends up being. You may be right, but boy do you come off as jaded.

  6. historiophiliac - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:08 AM

    Why do I get the feeling today will mostly be a skipper?

    V 2.0 continues to stink. I was excited when A-Jax tied the game up. I even did a little silent dancing at my desk (and for those interested — you know who you are — I was listening to the game audio at work). It went south from there though, and I have noticed the last week or so that I’ve started cringing a little when the ESPN scoring alerts come on my phone.

    Hello, Mets today. Our pitchers have been taking BP this week. So weird. One more day til His Heterochromianess v Harvey. I hope it doesn’t disappoint.

    • dondada10 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:37 AM

      Let’s enjoy some baseball, Missy.

      • historiophiliac - Aug 23, 2013 at 7:43 PM

        Boom!

      • dondada10 - Aug 23, 2013 at 7:52 PM

        Yeah that was impressive. Don’t forget Miggy would shit on us all the time as a Marlin. He was skinny Elvis then.

    • proudlycanadian - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:59 AM

      What is up with the bloodstain on Miggy’s knee? He is showing a lot of grit by playing hurt, unlike that other guy in LA who is taking a few games off.

  7. chiadam - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:19 AM

    Bring back Kilmer and his angry whispering.

  8. biffnasty - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:25 AM

    Are you on drugs? bale absolutely murdered all 3 batman movies. Amazing. Affleck has already tried to Bea super hero and failed miserably. Very disappointed

  9. aceshigh11 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:31 AM

    You know, I like Affleck a lot…solid actor, GREAT director, has a good sense of humor about himself, good family man and all…

    He’s come a long way from the Bennifer debacle of the early aughts.

    BUT no way does he have the menace or gravitas to play the Dark Knight. It just isn’t there.

    Now, I and a lot of people ate a heap of crow for scoffing at Heath Ledger as the Joker, so maybe, MAYBE, I’ll have to gag down another heaping serving of raven pie…

    I still say Josh Brolin would have been ideal. He’s good-looking but craggy, and just has this look on his face like he’s 2 seconds from cutting a bitch.

    • Francisco (FC) - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:57 AM

      BUT no way does he have the menace or gravitas to play the Dark Knight. It just isn’t there

      Some have suggested he’s going to play the Superfriends version. I got a chuckle out of that one.

      • aceshigh11 - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:59 AM

        Hey, I’m willing to eat my hat if he can pull it off.

        Like I said, I thought Heath Ledger was a positively ludicrous idea for the Joker.

  10. Jason Lukehart - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:31 AM

    Why did you have to bring Jack Lemmon into it? That man was a national treasure!

    • aceshigh11 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:39 AM

      Craig didn’t disparage his brilliant career. He was simply highlighting that not every actor is suited for every part.

      What, do you REALLY think Lemmon could have portrayed Vito Corleone? C’mon now.

      • deathmonkey41 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:56 AM

        That’s why it was so damn impressive when Charles Nelson Reilly pulled off the seamless transition from comedic actor to ruthless mob leader Don Don Cannelloni in Cannonball Run 2.

      • aceshigh11 - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:05 AM

        Hahaha…Charles Nelson Reilly.

        The only gay celebrity from the ’70s who could make Paul Lynde look butch.

      • timmmah10 - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:28 AM

        Wait… CNR was gay?!?

  11. dondada10 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:41 AM

    My major problem with TDKR was the dialogue suddenly went to shit. They whole “clean slate” thing was garbage. And then there were the forced twists. For instance, who was the child that made the jump? Was the autopilot fix? It was Robin the whole time? And how the hell did Wayne, master detective, fall so helplessly for Talia’s plan?

    Clearly the Godfather 3 of the series.

    • scoutsaysweitersisabust - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:57 AM

      The child was Talia (Ras Al Ghul’s daughter) (Bonus, fans of the comics knew Talia was a bad gal all along and that blew the plot twist.). Bane was the one who protected her while in the prison.

      Yes, Bruce fixed the autopilot. (Apparently with the fore-site to fake his own death)

      Yes, they named the character Robin. This STILL BUGS me. Robin was NOT his real name.

      Wayne fell for Talia’s plan because he put the pu@&y on a pedestal.

      • dondada10 - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:02 AM

        Fair points.

        My first impression when a woman started talking about the environment early in the film was that she was Poison Ivy somehow.

        Again, my big bone of contention is the shit dialogue.

        “You mean the clean-slate? The software that completely cleans your slate if your a criminal?”

      • aceshigh11 - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:07 AM

        Oh my god…

        That whole clean slate exchange with the corporate scumbag was AWFUL. I mean, truly, cringe-worthingly bad dialogue.

      • scoutsaysweitersisabust - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:13 AM

        But they HAAAAAAD to show that Catwoman was a bad guy who turned to the side of good because of “I’m Batman”s super awesome influence. It added DEPTH to the story. Ugh. Just another in a long line of WTF moments in this story.

  12. deathmonkey41 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:43 AM

    Ben Afleck is a douche. His awful acting skills are better left to projects like Gigli.

  13. dirtyharry1971 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:44 AM

    Jays fell to a season high 14 games below .500 and a season high 17 1/2 games out of first. 21-37 against the AL East, LOL. Are we sure the jays are not a expansion team and someone forgot to tell us?

  14. dirtyharry1971 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:45 AM

    New York has beaten Toronto 13 straight times in the Bronx and is 12-1 against the Blue Jays this season.

    • Old Gator - Aug 23, 2013 at 11:50 AM

      Poor Dim One Note Harry, our resident Artificial Stupidity, has been beating the same tedious drum since April, apparently too imbecilic to have noticed that the skin ruptured in May.

  15. mybrunoblog - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:49 AM

    Calcaterra couldn’t be more wrong. I thought the Dark Knight Rises was an incredible film. Maybe one of the top 3 superhero movies of all time.
    Oh yeah, the Yankees are rolling.

    • heyblueyoustink - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:07 AM

      I don’t know about top three, but it was a little more epic than he’s giving it credit for.

      Then again, C.C. can’t reconcile how the new Star Trek series was clearly laid out as being on a different timeline dimension than the dogmatic past timeline, so I generally ignore his movie opinions.

    • thebadguyswon - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:09 AM

      I loved DKR. Great flick, but the Dark Knight was the best of the three. And Anne Hathaway was delicious, as usual.

      • timmmah10 - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:34 AM

        I think what made the latest batman movies were the villains.

        Scarecrow/Raz in Begins, The Joker in Rises, and Bane in the final film… these were epic portrayals of dark and demented villains that we didn’t see in previous Batman films. Jim Carry wasn’t scary as the Riddler. Neither was Arnold as Mr Freeze. Jack as the Joker was good for the time, but not scary at all. And let’s not even talk about the Penguin, which was very brutal, IMO.

        I think having the Mad Hatter as a villian (I know it’s not an original character) would be awesome in a darker film. How creepy is a guy that controls people with hats?

      • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:15 AM

        I think what made the latest batman movies were the villains.

        Scarecrow/Raz in Begins, The Joker in Rises, and Bane in the final film… these were epic portrayals of dark and demented villains that we didn’t see in previous Batman films.

        And for me, it’s why the films get worse as they go on. We start caring more about the villains than Batman himself.

      • thedoubleentandres - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:51 AM

        Does noone else think the movie would have been a million times better if they just completely took Hathaways part outta the movie. Michelle Pfeiffer must have turned in her grave

      • Francisco (FC) - Aug 23, 2013 at 2:57 PM

        Er.. Pfeiffer is still very much alive you know?

  16. dirtyharry1971 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:49 AM

    The last-place Blue Jays have lost five straight and 11 of 15. The only other opponent to sweep a pair of four-game series from them in one season was the 1978 Milwaukee Brewers.

    • Old Gator - Aug 23, 2013 at 11:52 AM

      The real bottom feeder on this blog, our resident Artificial Stupidity, is so relentlessly boring and incapable of thinking an alternative thought that he now posts in his sleep.

    • lanflfan - Aug 23, 2013 at 4:35 PM

      harry, only your care. Besides, what does this have to do with Batman?

  17. scoutsaysweitersisabust - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:50 AM

    Basically my feelings on TDKR. Too many plot holes!

    Don’t like Affleck as Batman, but technically it’s a Superman movie, so I’m going to blame him. It doesn’t count as a real Batman.

  18. dirtyharry1971 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:52 AM

    It was the Yankees’ second four-game sweep of the Blue Jays at Yankee Stadium this season.

    The Blue Jays dropped to a season-high 14 games below .500 after losing their fifth game in a row overall.

    Since winning a season-best 11 games in a row June 11-23, the Blue Jays have gone 19-35 (.352), the second-worst winning percentage in the American League.

    • aceshigh11 - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:10 AM

      I’m sensing a theme here.

      • Old Gator - Aug 23, 2013 at 11:55 AM

        What you’re sensing is sociopathy complicated by abyssal stupidity and hopeless brain-lock.

      • aceshigh11 - Aug 23, 2013 at 1:14 PM

        YES! That’s it…thanks, Gator. ;)

  19. learysdisciples - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:55 AM

    NERDS!! — Ogre

  20. sdelmonte - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:03 AM

    1. You are dead wrong about TDKR. Even if you might be right that it wasn’t very Batman. And even if it’s full of plotholes – hope you saw the “How It Should Have Ended” take on it. But it’s my favorite Nolan Bat-film.

    2. That said, Bale is not indispensable. With the exception of Val Kilmer, all the actors who played Batman in the movies brought something I liked to the role, even Clooney. But none of them are perfect for the part the way Chris Reeve or Robert Downey Jr. have been for their heroics. The only truly indispensable Batman is Kevin Conroy. And maybe Adam West, in a very different way.

    3. I have no real problem with Affleck, but I also haven’t seen him in much. Loved him in Chasing Amy. My problem is that I think this movie is unnecessary. That we don’t need another Batman reboot so soon. That I was so turned off by everything I heard about Man of Steel that I can’t imagine going to this film even if Craig, Kevin Smith and the ghost of Roger Ebert declare it the best Batman film ever. Never mind that my wife is royally (and rightly) pissed that we keep getting Superman and Batman and not Wonder Woman.

    4. Speaking of comebacks…the Yankees. Gotta say this: all that ground they’re making up? The teams that are ahead of them have no one to blame if they can’t win a few.

    • aceshigh11 - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:15 AM

      Yeah, but how many games have they really made up? 3 or 4?

      They’re playing great ball, but the rest of the division is still winning at about the same clip, and they’re still in 4th place.

      Their odds of them going on a late-season run look a lot better than they did though, that much is certain.

      • sdelmonte - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:35 AM

        Rule one: never bet against the Yankees making the playoffs.

        Rule two: don’t bet on them IN the playoffs.

      • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:37 AM

        4 games in two weeks is nothing to sneeze at, and they get the Rays for a 3 game set, Tor for 3 more, and then Balt for a 3 game series. They have zero room for error and winning each series should help their chances.

    • number42is1 - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:20 AM

      I am not sure what you heard or read but Man Of Steel was probably the best Superman movie to date. Now, yea… that’s not saying much since The Christopher reaves (SP?) series was kind of shit and “Superman Returns” was terrible (except for Kevin Spacey making a shiv and using it on Superman), but MOS went against the usual mythology and instead followed the “Smallville” mythos which made it that much better.

      • mybrunoblog - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:30 AM

        Imao the Christopher Reeves Superman movies (only 1 and 2) are the gold standard. A bit dated watching them now but still classics films. I really liked Superman Returns. Maybe I was just starved for some Superman but Routh was ok and Spacey was terrific.

      • number42is1 - Aug 23, 2013 at 10:48 AM

        Was waiting for someone to say that.

        The Reeves ones were great for their time but in retrospect: 1) in Superman I he fly around the world to turn back time and save Lois’ life and 2) in Superman II he used the S on his suit to trap one the Kryptonians and did this thing where he made holograms of himself as he “did when he was in grade school” seriously…WTF was that all about. I am with you on the “starved for some Superman” part of Superman Returns but overall it was awful.

  21. misterj167 - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:07 AM

    Meanwhile, on ESPN:

    “One of the greatest games of all time played out at Wrigley Field yesterday, as the Nationals continued their assault on the division by beating the Cubs in extra innings. They’re really on a roll now, Bob!”

    “That’s right, Doug! The Nats are pulling away from their chief rivals, the Mets and Phillies, and have all but eliminated the Marlins, who are 14 1/2 games behind! The question is whether they should keep playing with intensity or start to rest players in preparation for their World Series run?”

    “Always a difficult question, Bob! But who’s actually leading the division, anyway? We had aptly named reporter Ivana DuHarp ask Nats star Bryce Harper that question.”

    (Two hours of heavy breathing later)

    “Thanks for that report, Ivana, and we’ll have wardrobe send you over a new outfit right away. How you keep losing them is beyond me! In other news, ARod was seen having a drink of water in the dugout, was it filled with steroids? Stay tuned after Baseball tonight for part 21 of our 64-part epic “Everything ARod’s Ever Done Since 2005.”

  22. RickyB - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:15 AM

    Seriously, who at the time really thought Michael Keaton would be a good Batman? He was known almost exclusively for his goofy roles, and for him to play Batman? I thought it was nuts at the time. I actually think Affleck can pull it off. He can brood …

    • unclemosesgreen - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:32 AM

      Affleck is also going to kill it in “Beetlejuice 2 – Electric BeetleBoo.”

  23. KR - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:17 AM

    The scandal here is that Craig has no idea what a Boston accent sounds like: https://twitter.com/craigcalcaterra/status/370723933990825984

    “Youse”?

    • Craig Calcaterra - Aug 23, 2013 at 11:08 AM

      In my defense, I had had a couple of drinks last night when I wrote that.

  24. lostsok - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:28 AM

    Ben Affleck has turned into a terrific directly. Gone, Baby, Gone was a masterpiece, and The Town and Argo were great, too. He should have talked to George Clooney about the whole Batman experience before wasting his time–and our’s–on a bad role for his limited acting range. (He was the bomb in Phantoms.)

    C’mon, Ben! Adapt more Dennis Lahane!

    • lostsok - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:30 AM

      Language NSFW:

  25. El Bravo - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:31 AM

    I stopped reading after “Christian Bale wasn’t anything extraordinary or irreplaceable as Batman. There, I said it.”

    It’s fucking Bale or bust brah. This movie was doomed before Affleck, and now it’s doubled doomed! DOOOOOOOOMED!

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