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The Rays gift to Mariano Rivera is kinda creepy looking

Aug 23, 2013, 6:00 PM EDT

All the teams are giving Mariano Rivera parting gifts when he makes his last appearance at their ballpark. The Rays are no exception.  Except this may be the weirdest and creepiest gift yet:

And, you know, the thing about Mariano Rivera… he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living…

  1. drewsylvania - Aug 23, 2013 at 6:05 PM

    Are you sure that wasn’t from the Marlins?

    • historiophiliac - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:05 PM

      Oh, please. They’re giving him drink coupons and a regift from Pudge’s old locker.

  2. pesky99 - Aug 23, 2013 at 6:06 PM


    • historiophiliac - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:06 PM

      No, I think that’s one of the least happy things I’ve ever seen.

    • Ben - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:50 PM

      You misspelled “I am a f**king idiot.”

  3. kiwicricket - Aug 23, 2013 at 6:08 PM

    I sent something like that to my ex-girlfriend and got arrested. Go figure.

    • badintent - Aug 23, 2013 at 11:49 PM

      Anthony Wiener Instagram ! Send one to his wife Humas. She’ll love you

  4. banger60 - Aug 23, 2013 at 6:12 PM

    What the hell?????

  5. jwbiii - Aug 23, 2013 at 6:32 PM

    A little context: 8 tons of sand.

    • dondada10 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:13 PM

      That makes it so much worse.

    • biasedhomer - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:28 PM

      How is he going to take that back to New York?

  6. classicfinder - Aug 23, 2013 at 6:48 PM

    Great, now how do I get that home.

  7. redsoxchamp11 - Aug 23, 2013 at 6:59 PM

    maybe I missed something but when did Mo become Michael Meyers?

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Aug 23, 2013 at 7:44 PM

      Don’t you mean William Shatner?

  8. professor30 - Aug 23, 2013 at 7:12 PM

    How long before Joe Maddon starts blaming Bud Selig or the umpires or some other MLB team for this?

  9. dondada10 - Aug 23, 2013 at 8:13 PM

    Go Rays!

  10. BigBeachBall - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:01 PM

    It’s a fitting gift for mlb’s second greatest closer in history.

  11. ndnut - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:21 PM

    Enter Sandman

  12. jayquintana - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:45 PM

    Put a bushy stash on him and that’d be Goose Gossage.

    • badintent - Aug 23, 2013 at 11:50 PM

      good one !

  13. indaburg - Aug 23, 2013 at 9:51 PM

    I like the idea, but it doesn’t look much like him, does it? Sand is a fitting gift coming from an area supported in so many ways by its beaches (the soil here is sandy everywhere, in fact). And he is the Sandman. Yes, pretty cool idea. Execution… well, they tried.

    Reports are that he really liked the gift, although would you expect Mo to throw a hissy fit because it didn’t look like him? Nah, even if he thought that this thing is truly the thing that nightmares are made of, he would be all classy about it. He did joke that he was going to bring the thing home with him. The sculpture will be on display at the Trop for fans to visit this weekend. I’m sure the soulless eyes will cheer up the digs.

    The Rays are also donating $3,150 to the Mariano Rivera Foundation. $50 for each save notched against the Rays.

    • historiophiliac - Aug 24, 2013 at 10:30 AM

      The donation is cool…because otherwise it’s: I went to Tampa and all I got was a giant box of sand.

      • indaburg - Aug 24, 2013 at 3:03 PM

        I don’t know. I mean, what do you get a guy as rich as Mo Rivera? Does he really need more knickknacks and stuff? I rather like the ephemeral quality of the gift. I doubt the Rays were going this deep, but it captures a metaphysical, even ontological, quality. (Say, what it is in this ginger ale? It tastes a little funny…)

        I think he was likely touched by the effort and thought that went into the gift. If someone sculpted a sand sculpture of my likeness, well, my initial reaction would be–uh, why? But my second would be to be really honored. That’s a lot of freaking work.

        It just would have been nice if they hired a sculptor who had actually seen Mariano Rivera first. I don’t know how difficult of a medium sand is to work with because, good lord, that looks like the stuff of my nightmares.The Rays are on a budget, you know. They probably couldn’t afford to hire anyone and just had Joe from marketing sculpt the thing.

      • historiophiliac - Aug 24, 2013 at 3:12 PM

        That thing looks like something lukescottsbedsidemanner would carve. lmao! Seriously, it would seem like some of your guys would’ve learned a craft or two while in jail. Kidding, again. Isn’t there some kind of mini floating carpet & aquarium you could’ve given him? Or, just a parade for Mariano Rivera Day?

      • indaburg - Aug 24, 2013 at 3:18 PM

        lukescottsbedsidemanner would have done a much better job.

        Hey, we only have ONE felon! Sheesh! Therapist.

        Ooooooh…. a pet stingray would have been a cool gift! The Rays are technically now the rays of sun. It’s hard to bottle ultraviolet rays of the sun. A tanning bed would have been a weird gift. A tanning bed that tans the likeness of Mariano Rivera on to your skin, maybe? Seriously, what’s in this ginger ale?

      • historiophiliac - Aug 24, 2013 at 3:33 PM

        Clearly, sun rays in that. lol

        Okay, then you should’ve just gone with oranges…or a time share next door to OG.

      • jwbiii - Aug 24, 2013 at 11:07 PM

        Actually, this looks like a pretty high end operation:

  14. sportsfan18 - Aug 23, 2013 at 11:50 PM

    Well kudos to the Ray’s for donating $3,150 to his foundation…

  15. 13arod - Aug 24, 2013 at 12:14 AM


  16. acdc84 - Aug 24, 2013 at 1:06 AM

    Am I the only person that doesn’t get this whole gifts-for-Rivera thing? Yes, he’s the best closer the league has ever seen (at least since Saves became an official stat), but it’s not like he’s one of the best ever players, or even pitchers for that matter. And what team looks weirder preparing a special gift and saluting Rivera? A fierce division rival like Boston, that respects him but obviously doesn’t have any favorable on the field memories of him, or teams like the Padres and Dodgers, that have probably faced him less than a dozen of times combined.

    I’m a fan of an NL team so I admittedly don’t really appreciate him because I’ve only seen him a handful of times, but that’s kinda my point. The whole gift-thing seems forced and insincere.

    • dirtyharry1971 - Aug 24, 2013 at 1:36 AM

      Yes you are the only person, well you and the few bluejay fans that exist in the world so that makes 7 people

    • jerseygirl57 - Aug 24, 2013 at 8:47 AM

      Did you the feel the same way when all the major league teams were doing this for Chipper last year? And if you don’t see Rivera as one of the greatest players ever, I don’t even know what to say.

      • forsch31 - Aug 24, 2013 at 12:24 PM

        I’m not sure how “the best closer the league has ever seen” jives with “he’s not one of the best ever players, or even pitchers”.

  17. gmenfan1982 - Aug 24, 2013 at 1:15 AM

    It doesn’t even look like him. That’s awful.

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