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Wanna buy B.J. Upton’s house?

Aug 29, 2013, 9:20 AM EST

B.J. Upton house

B.J. Upton’s Tampa home is for sale for $1.6 million.  Sounds like a nice joint.  Word is that the ventilation is great, provided by ceiling fans with baseball bats for blades which, in keeping with the owner’s habits, cut swiftly and silently into the humid night air:

Inside, the two-story residence boats a host of luxury appointments, including a wrought-iron staircase in the foyer, vaulted ceilings and wood flooring throughout. An entertainer’s dream, Upton’s home features a host of high-end amenities, including a custom wine cellar, a media room and a gourmet kitchen with top-tier appliances. The all-star pad rounds out with a resort-style pool with a spa, a poolside kitchen and a tiki wet bar.

Pretty nice as far as these things go, though since he’s obviously not lived in the thing for months it has that “real estate agent rented some furniture for showings and now it looks like a model home” feel that so many of these ballplayer houses do. I feel like Upton has a bit more style about him than what is shown here. At any rate, if you hired a decent decorator this could be a pretty happening place.

And note: the fact that Realtor.com puts Upton’s batting line in the listing and notes his season-long struggles is pretty awesome. Baseball fans over there.

  1. josemartez - Aug 29, 2013 at 9:26 AM

    That 3-TV room needs a fourth TV. Also, the photographer should ease up on the HDR. The rooms are all glowing and weird looking.

  2. dondada10 - Aug 29, 2013 at 9:29 AM

    “Word is that the ventilation is great, provided by ceiling fans with baseball bats for blades which, in keeping with the owner’s habits, cut swiftly and silently into the humid night air.”

    Yikes burn.

    • baseballici0us - Aug 29, 2013 at 9:30 AM

      haha…i just said the same thing

  3. baseballici0us - Aug 29, 2013 at 9:30 AM

    “ceiling fans with baseball bats for blades which, in keeping with the owner’s habits, cut swiftly and silently into the humid night air”

    Hahahaha!!!!! That’s cold, Craig….ice cold!

    • mississippimusicman - Aug 29, 2013 at 10:23 AM

      So’s his bat.

      • jcmeyer10 - Aug 29, 2013 at 12:04 PM

        The bats that make up the ceiling are all “game used”.

  4. rickdobrydney - Aug 29, 2013 at 9:37 AM

    Every time I see a post like this , I remember how a lot of the players in the 40′a and 50′s had to get part-time jobs to make ends meet. Like Gil Hodges selling men’s clothes in the off-season. And now even the marginal players are so over paid and filthy rich, and it makes me sick.

    • Reflex - Aug 29, 2013 at 9:43 AM

      Yeah, it was so much better when the ultra wealthy owners kept all that loot for themselves while conspiring to keep players as indentured servants if they wished to play the game at all.

      Definitely helped me avoid the nausea back in the good old days.

    • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Aug 29, 2013 at 10:36 AM

      2013 Star Player Winter Jobs List:

      Derek Jeter: FTD Gift Basket Designer
      ARod: Public Relations Executive
      David Ortiz: Speech Writer
      Yasiel Puig: Sarbanes-Oxley Compliance Officer
      Brett Anderson: Wellness Coach
      Dustin Pedroia: Professor, Intro to Philosophy
      Manny Ramirez: Fertility Consultant
      Johnny Gomes: Psychotherapist
      Shane Victorino: Spokesperson, Hawaii Tourism
      Delmon Young: Cantor
      Tim Lincecum: <>
      Clayton Kershaw: Farmer – Lancaster, PA
      Miguel Cabrera: Cab Driver/Bartender
      Adrian Beltre: Phrenologist
      Giancarlo Stanton: a capella singer, solo

      • Reflex - Aug 29, 2013 at 4:39 PM

        Absolutely gold, you had me at Puig but almost started a coughing fit with Stanton!

  5. rickdobrydney - Aug 29, 2013 at 9:56 AM

    Bottom line, they are ALL overpaid —Owners AND players —

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Aug 29, 2013 at 10:23 AM

      But the money has to go somewhere. If Revenues are X and Costs are Y, leaves you with profit Z (lets forget interest/debt/etc). Should they give it to charity?

      Do you also complain about corp execs making too much money? What about doctors/lawyers?

      • zzalapski - Aug 29, 2013 at 10:58 AM

        Get off his lawn.

      • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Aug 29, 2013 at 10:58 AM

        More should go to charity, or at least to supporting education in the communities where the teams exist. Private owners benefit greatly from publicly funded stadiums, public infrastructure projects, public tourism campaigns, etc, not to mention the rather generous anti-trust exemption. I do think they should be quite a bit more beholden to their communities. The Steinbrenners are playing games with the luxury tax threshold while NYC school kids are being taught in crumbling 20-year-old trailers.

  6. shipitplease - Aug 29, 2013 at 10:23 AM

    Well, he will need some sort of retirement fund for when the Braves cut him.

    Upton might be the least fan friendly guy in the entire league. So that type of struggling couldn’t happen to a better player

  7. papalurchdxb - Aug 29, 2013 at 11:28 AM

    Hey, it might be broker provided furniture, but I want that monkey shower curtain!

  8. historiophiliac - Aug 29, 2013 at 11:44 AM

    I kinda dug the place — except the kitchen. I hate those kinds of kitchens. Also, I’m not down with grey walls in a dining room. Blech. Unappetizing. Who is dumb enough to put white chairs in a dining room too? Even if it’s staged, I get distracted by the impracticality of it. I hate staging.

    • jcmeyer10 - Aug 29, 2013 at 12:10 PM

      How can you hate those kitchens?! What do you hate about it? the Counter space, color scheme?

      • historiophiliac - Aug 29, 2013 at 12:14 PM

        It isn’t really laid out well for working — those are show kitchens instead of working ones. Also, I hate the notion of entertaining in the kitchen. It ruins the effect of serving dinner and also, people pick at food in there and aren’t hungry for dinner then and everyone gives up on sitting around a table together and you have to be pleasant when you’re working — and if you make a mess you have to be apologetic and crap and people are underfoot. Is that enough?

      • jcmeyer10 - Aug 29, 2013 at 12:26 PM

        Damn, been holding that one in. I hear ya but I rolling with the times of the open floor plans and I love a kitchen I can entertain in while cooking.

        Well, I know we can never get married now. :D

      • historiophiliac - Aug 29, 2013 at 2:08 PM

        Well, if you wanna cook in it, I’m willing to let you do the cooking.

  9. jcmeyer10 - Aug 29, 2013 at 12:09 PM

    All in all, I like it more than most. Finally a guy who understands the value in hardwood floors. Better than Joe Morgan’s “Shag Paradise”.

    Just looks big but not too big to me.

  10. skinsfanwill - Aug 29, 2013 at 1:22 PM

    This house does not look like it’s worth 1.6 million to me. For 1.6 million I want Awe!!!! Nothing about that place makes my mouth drop. I know I know, something in the house makes his batting average drop…..

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