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Former Padres president to lead Miami Dolphins, former Dolphins president to lead Padres

Sep 9, 2013, 9:44 AM EDT

Job swap, sports swap:


Kinda neat. And while a little weird — you don’t hear a ton about baseball executives becoming football executives and vice-versa — if you’re not on the actual sports operations side of things I presume the skills are pretty comparable. Promote team, sell tickets, make sure ballpark/stadium is functioning, sign checks, avoid doing things like making fun of their opposing players for their psychological problems.

You know, the usual.

  1. yahmule - Sep 9, 2013 at 9:58 AM

    Miami is a good place for Garfinkel. Dolphins’ GM Jeff Ireland interviewed Dez Bryant before the NFL Draft and asked him if his mother was a prostitute.

    • Kevin S. - Sep 9, 2013 at 10:04 AM

      Maybe Garfinkel can teach Ireland how to change and make amends when you get called out for being an asshat.

      • yahmule - Sep 9, 2013 at 11:00 AM

        He better hurry. Ireland should have been fired a couple years ago based purely on his drafting record.

      • tcclark - Sep 9, 2013 at 6:28 PM

        His drafting has been fine since Parcells left. Tannehill, Pouncey, Jonathan Martin, Reshad Jones, and Olivier Vernon are all quality starters. Lamar Miller has a ton of potential and this year’s draft class should be really good. Since Parcells left he’s been able to do his own thing and he’s been fine.

      • badintent - Sep 10, 2013 at 3:23 AM

        Sooooooooooooo, Garfinkel put Vaseline all over his head and shoved it up Ross’ butt. I get it now. The old get of San Diego and all it’s bandwagon fans move. . Gotcha. Smooth move Garfinkel. Now you can hang with all the Williams sisters and Gloria Estaban. Beats the rednecks in Pacific Beach and the La Jolla snobs.

  2. icanspeel - Sep 9, 2013 at 10:23 AM

    Nice, Padres and Dolphins made a trade.

    • Old Gator - Sep 9, 2013 at 12:42 PM

      Next, Feesh and Lightning. With Polanco politely invited to report to somebody else’s camp next spring, anybodyelse’s, the Feesh will be looking to convert a second string goalie to third baseman.


  3. xpensivewinos - Sep 9, 2013 at 10:28 AM

    With Jeff Ireland and now Tom “Rainman” Garfinkel, Stephen Ross has the two biggest schmucks in sports working for him.

    The Dolphins new logo should have just been an image of the Titanic sinking……

    • Old Gator - Sep 9, 2013 at 12:49 PM

      A porpoise suffocated in a gill net might have been more appropriate.

      Everyone has been waiting for Ireland to be fired since two days after he took the job. At least twice a season and three times an orfseason, there have been rumors abundant on Macondo conurbation spawrts torque raydeeo and in the Macondo Feeshwrapper of Ireland’s imminent firing. After the humiliating way that Macondo voters shitcanned the Dolfeens’ gambit for another heap of public money to gussy up Joeprodolsharklife Stadium, there were rumors galore that Ross would bounce him, but I think he realized it wasn’t Ireland’s fault and he couldn’t exactly fire the real reason the referendum went septic, namely, Scrooge McLoria. Aaahhhh, the mingled destinies of thieves and cloacal bursae. There was ackcherley a doomsday rumor about poor Ireland in the Feeshwrapper just two days ago, in fact. Losing to the Browns, it claimed, would be the order to the headsman. Reprieve! Ireland is the Terri Schiavo of football executives.

    • gloccamorra - Sep 10, 2013 at 10:44 PM

      Actually, Ireland’s drafting and personnel moves have been very good, and Garfinkel is a competent administrator. They’re both very good at what they’re being paid to do, with the exception of off the cuff remarks (ad-libbing is an art). They can both stay out of trouble if Ross buys each of them a teleprompter and makes them stick to the script.

  4. vanmorrissey - Sep 9, 2013 at 12:05 PM

    Wonder if there’s a pay differential amongst the two positions and if so think they would have that negotiated prior to accepting.

    • gloccamorra - Sep 10, 2013 at 10:57 PM

      Lessee, Miami – lots of people speak Spanish. San Diego, ditto. Miami – warm and sunny in January. San Diego, ditto. Miami – best places to live are expensive. San Diego, ditto. Miami – hurricanes. San Diego, wild fires. Miami – losing baseball team. San Diego, ditto. Miami – football team used to be good. San Diego, ditto. Miami – the mayor gave away the store in ballpark negotiations. San Diego, aw hell – advantage Miami. San Diego had three baseball owners in three years. Miami has had one – advantage San Diego.

      Overall, I see no reason for a pay differential.

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