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Sammy Sosa appears to be going full Michael Jackson on us

Sep 12, 2013, 9:45 AM EDT

This is … unsettling.

 

In case you forgot, Sosa once looked like this:

source:

 

This does sort of make me feel better about something, though.  I’ve told this story before, but I’ll tell it again. It’s about how I once thought people routinely got race-change surgery.

Now, in my defense, I was very, very young, but it went down like this: one day, when I was very young, I was trading baseball cards with a friend and a George Scott card was sitting on top of a Graig Nettles card and I matched the wrong name with the wrong picture. So, in my mind, I assumed that Graig Nettles was black (I really only listened to games on the radio then).

Flash forward to the 1981 World Series. Nettles made a play at third base and the camera pulled in on a closeup. I was shocked to see this white man and I told my dad, who was sitting nearby, of my confusion. He told me that Nettles “used to be black” until he “had the surgery.” I had no idea that he was pulling my chain and continued to believe that people had race-change surgery for a good while after that. Eventually I said something about that in front of my dad and he was flabbergasted, remembered his weird joke and set me straight.

But now Sosa is apparently doing it, so vindication for dumbass eight year-old me.

  1. jyoung1891 - Sep 12, 2013 at 9:48 AM

    Nice arm candy, though.

    • cardinalcrazy - Sep 12, 2013 at 10:12 AM

      She was black a few years ago.

    • sabatimus - Sep 12, 2013 at 11:01 AM

      What is she, 14?

      • kevinbnyc - Sep 12, 2013 at 2:26 PM

        She’s gotta be under 10 if he’s going “full Michael Jackson.”

      • hockeyflow33 - Sep 12, 2013 at 8:46 PM

        and not a she

  2. aceshigh11 - Sep 12, 2013 at 9:49 AM

    God, that’s just horrible. What degree of self-loathing would lead a person to do that? Just sad.

  3. Walk - Sep 12, 2013 at 9:50 AM

    I had thought he suffered from vitiligo. Sosa has denied it however and said he uses a skin cream he is going to be marketing to help heal sun damage. He attributes his look to the bright camera flashes and the skin cream.

  4. scoutsaysweitersisabust - Sep 12, 2013 at 9:53 AM

    Where is the sweater vest!

    • indaburg - Sep 12, 2013 at 11:31 AM

      Ah, the infamous ochre sweater vest. The denizens of HBT demand the ochre sweater vest.

      • paperlions - Sep 12, 2013 at 12:20 PM

        1) No. We don’t.

        2) He still looks like a wax vampire….I think it is the Eddie Munster hair cut that does it.

      • historiophiliac - Sep 12, 2013 at 1:50 PM

        VEST! VEST! VEST! VEST!

      • historiophiliac - Sep 12, 2013 at 1:55 PM

        Actually, I think it was a full sweater.

      • indaburg - Sep 12, 2013 at 2:36 PM

        I wasn’t sure. It blends into his ochre skin.

  5. gdog97 - Sep 12, 2013 at 9:54 AM

    This struck a cord with me on a personal level. I want to clarify something here because this appears to be a lazy effort on your part, Craig. Or possibly just ignorant.

    Michael Jackson had a skin disease, which I also suffer from, called Vitiligo. It is not something I would wish on my worst enemy. Michael took advantage of a medical option to speed the process up, which I can also do, but it will also eliminate any chance of recovering your skin pigmentation.

    Sosa is purposely trying to lighten his skin color by choice, with a cosmetic cream. Jackson, and others who have vitiligo, are not. Comparing what happened to Jackson with that of Sosa is just flat out wrong.

    • bgrillz - Sep 12, 2013 at 9:58 AM

      I also have Vitiligo , and it sucks big time. It is a bummer that they seem to have found a cure, but it won’t likely hit market for 7-10 years in the US. Thanks FDA!

      • gdog97 - Sep 12, 2013 at 1:06 PM

        @bgrillz..is this what you are referring to?

        http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/260089.php

        If not, please tell me more.

    • Craig Calcaterra - Sep 12, 2013 at 10:26 AM

      Sorry about that. I recall Jackson claiming that once but I seem to remember some people countering the claim. Not my intention to mock someone with a disease. Apologies.

      • yahmule - Sep 12, 2013 at 10:32 AM

        They countered the claim because it was bullshit. The man had a disease, but it was in his head.

      • imnotyourbuddyguy - Sep 12, 2013 at 10:56 AM

        So Yamule, you’re his doctor? I guess you were left out because Jackson’s autopsy report showed that he did he Vitiligo.

        Douche

      • indaburg - Sep 12, 2013 at 11:27 AM

        While Jackson did have vitiligo, his multiple plastic surgeries– nasal surgeries to slim his nose and his cleft chin surgeries–also indicate that the man wanted to have stereotypical Caucasian features. Jackson DID have the surgery. Quite literally. To mutilate oneself in that fashion indicates a self-loathing of “colored folk” features that apparently Sosa seems to share. It is sad. Whether you are a porcelain skinned doll or a Nubian prince, embrace what nature endowed upon you. It usually looks best.

      • Francisco (FC) - Sep 12, 2013 at 11:45 AM

        One thing about the nose surgery. He actually wrecked it. The first surgery was to fix it. But it was kind of botched. Tried to fix it again. Wasn’t happy. It’s probably at that time he decided to have the nose match the skin.

      • gdog97 - Sep 12, 2013 at 12:58 PM

        It’s all good Craig. Thanks for the response.

    • yahmule - Sep 12, 2013 at 10:31 AM

      Nice job. gdog97. Now explain why he cut off his goddamn face.

      Enabling frigging moron.

      • ezthinking - Sep 12, 2013 at 11:07 AM

        mule – (ass is it?) – you got beat with facts. Slink away and try again is some other post.

      • jm91rs - Sep 12, 2013 at 11:08 AM

        Not only should Michael Jackson have not been mentioned because Sosa is doing something different, but his skin disease has absolutely nothing to do with his facial surgeries, which has even less to do with Sammy Sosa’s skin cream.

        And how exactly do you enable a dead man?

      • gdog97 - Sep 12, 2013 at 1:02 PM

        @yahmule. I could respond to you and give you my opinion as to why he had multiple surgeries, but I don’t know that answer. Besides, based on your comments, reading and comprehension, along with reasoning and logic appear to be beyond your reach today. Maybe we’ll try again another time.

    • cur68 - Sep 12, 2013 at 11:04 AM

      And, for those who don’t know, Vitiligo can afflict any one of any colour. My born-in-Belfast, Ireland ex brother-in-law has it and he’s so caucasian its painful to look at him in the sunshine. Of course, like most pale people, his hands are tanned…except where he has Vitiligo.

      • raysfan1 - Sep 12, 2013 at 11:25 AM

        …and of course many Caucasians with vitiligo avoid tanning so as to make the condition less noticeable to others.

      • cur68 - Sep 12, 2013 at 11:41 AM

        Steve is a golfer, like me (he and I have a game today, in fact), so he’s got a funny tan: only the right hand is tanned. Unsurprisingly that’s the one where the missing pigment is really noticeable.

      • stlouis1baseball - Sep 12, 2013 at 11:56 AM

        Hit em’ long and straight Cur!

      • historiophiliac - Sep 12, 2013 at 1:56 PM

        *color

        FTFY, Royalist

  6. lyon810 - Sep 12, 2013 at 10:04 AM

    I used to think Ron Calloway was white

  7. chiadam - Sep 12, 2013 at 10:13 AM

    Yikes!!

  8. alexo0 - Sep 12, 2013 at 10:17 AM

    As smooth and shiny as his head looks, does anyone else think it’s just a guy wearing a Sosa mask?

    • RickyB - Sep 12, 2013 at 11:23 AM

      When I first looked at the photo, I thought the girl was standing with a wax statue of Sammy Sosa. Seriously. I’m still not sure …

  9. yahmule - Sep 12, 2013 at 10:24 AM

    Craig was raised by the dad from Calvin and Hobbes!

    8~)

    • sabatimus - Sep 12, 2013 at 11:05 AM

      How do they know the load limit on bridges Dad?

      They drive bigger and bigger trucks over the bridge until it breaks. Then they weigh the last truck and rebuild the bridge.

  10. materialman80 - Sep 12, 2013 at 10:50 AM

    Bizarre, really, really, bizarre

  11. T Pot - Sep 12, 2013 at 11:11 AM

    Eddie Munster?

  12. louhudson23 - Sep 12, 2013 at 1:24 PM

    So now his skin tone is as fake as his HR performance….

  13. temporarilyexiled - Sep 12, 2013 at 1:38 PM

    MJ reference must have something to do with his date…

  14. runteddyrun - Sep 12, 2013 at 7:29 PM

    Must be the juice…

  15. rjmarrella - Sep 12, 2013 at 11:47 PM

    So, wait… He’s got a skin disease, cream malfunction or had surgery? Which one was it?

  16. uk2ndbestinthestate - Sep 13, 2013 at 11:30 AM

    Watch out african american steroid users…They turn you Caucasian

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