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It’s $1 beard night at Fenway — feel the magic

Sep 18, 2013, 3:21 PM EST

Beards

Usually cutesy little things don’t get played out until the playoffs actually start. The Red Sox are trying to get the jump on all of that, though:  It’s $1 beard night at Fenway.

Seriously: wear a beard to Fenway park tonight — real or fake – and you could get to see the Red Sox game for just a dollar. It’s a “while supplies last” thing, so I imagine it’s only for the handful of walkup tickets available.

Of course, given that beards are magic and make teams win you’d think the Sox would evict all of the clean-shaven season ticket holders and let Jonny Gomes‘ spiritual relatives all come into the park. But hey, maybe they just aren’t as hip to this strategy as Boston radio hosts are.

  1. scoutsaysweitersisabust - Sep 18, 2013 at 3:36 PM

    At first gland I thought this said $1 beer night and got all excited at the eventual hilarity that would have ensued. Then I read the article. Guess it’s just been a long day and my brain was already onto my post work relaxation.

    • nothanksimdriving123 - Sep 18, 2013 at 3:48 PM

      No, admission is $1. The beer is free to anyone with a real beard longer than 7 inches. But I predict things will get messy by the 6th inning with bearded people being thrown onto the field, particularly the rowdier Hasidim, and then the game will be forfeited amid charges of anti-Semitism and hatred of lumberjacks and misogyny over women not getting the free beer. Heads will roll. Everyone will blame Bill Veeck.

      • sabatimus - Sep 18, 2013 at 3:57 PM

        They’ll get thrown onto the field after John Cleese accuses them of uttering the name of our lord.

      • nothanksimdriving123 - Sep 18, 2013 at 4:03 PM

        Sabatimus, I have Brian’s sandal and I wear it proudly on a chain around my neck so no one will confuse me with followers of that other chap.

    • anotheryx - Sep 18, 2013 at 4:26 PM

      I actually read it as $1 bread night and got really hungry…

  2. aceshigh11 - Sep 18, 2013 at 5:05 PM

    Can gay guys who have fake girlfriends also get in for $1?

    • historiophiliac - Sep 18, 2013 at 5:23 PM

      Oh, for God’s sake, just buy a cheap beard to wear. The Halloween stuff is out at the stores already….unless you’re asking me to be your fake gf.

  3. sophiethegreatdane - Sep 18, 2013 at 5:29 PM

    I’d wear a beard just for the halibut.

  4. robocallsplz - Sep 18, 2013 at 7:15 PM

    Hey, is that Kurt Suzuki in the background?

  5. skerney - Sep 18, 2013 at 10:58 PM

    The pennant races don’t truly begin until Craig’s annual “I’m gonna poo-poo every team’s chemistry gimmick” posts hit the internet. If it’s not bourbon, Batman, or Braves, he has no time for your fun.

  6. goldensombrero3000 - Sep 18, 2013 at 11:06 PM

    Beards: growing personalities

  7. titansbro - Sep 19, 2013 at 7:21 AM

    Felger & Mazz > Craig Calcaterra… & I’m not even that big on F&M.

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