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Matt Kemp makes a most triumphant return

Sep 18, 2013, 8:58 AM EDT

Los Angeles Dodgers v Arizona Diamondbacks Getty Images

Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL Matt Kemp!

Last night Matt Kemp got his first start since July 21. He made the most of it, going 4 for 4 with two doubles, three RBI and a run scored and patrolled center without incident.

Kinda came out of nowhere given that his only plate appearance on Monday was a pinch hit strikeout and given that he had hit a mere.262/.317/.380 in 63 games before yesterday’s action. But if he’s back to full strength and abilities, he’ll definitely give the Dodgers a boost heading into the playoffs.

  1. historiophiliac - Sep 18, 2013 at 9:13 AM

    Kemp!

  2. amaninwhite - Sep 18, 2013 at 9:48 AM

    Yes, because a boost is exactly what the Dodgers needed…

  3. Francisco (FC) - Sep 18, 2013 at 10:19 AM

    Nodding in satisfaction, Craig mentally patted himself on the back for another clever post. Sitting in his high chair, Braves bathrobe elegantly tied and bubble pipe in hand he casually perused more baseball news items on his 71″ ZuperZmart LED TV.

    Then he received an notification of an incoming call. It was Kay Adams. He pressed a button on his chair to open a new video call popup window on his display.

    “Good Morning my dear, to what do I owe the call?”.

    Kay was frowning a bit, as if trying to figure out something that made little sense. “Hi Craig, I’ve been looking over the post monitor and I flagged this for review: you seem to be using that specific Star Wars reference quite a bit lately”

    “I’m positive it haven’t used it all that much.”

    Craig shifted in his seat feeling a little defensive no doubt.

    “Well, I have here a fully armed and operational Matt Kemp, Strasberg (twice), David Ortiz, Matt Harvey and Delmon Young. According to our statistics it’s the most use of the phrase in a season by far since sabremetric tracking commenced in 2010.”

    “Big deal, so I use it often when a player comes back in a big way. I like it. Now do that search for trending baseball topics in the social sphere I asked.”

    “But-”

    She was cut off as Craig dropped the video call. Some days he just missed Tiffany. She never would have bothered him with small potatoes.

    • aceshigh11 - Sep 18, 2013 at 11:03 AM

      Genius.

    • km9000 - Sep 18, 2013 at 12:06 PM

      I missed the same Star Wars reference five times? Dammit.

    • ptfu - Sep 18, 2013 at 1:13 PM

      Matt Kemp is here to put the Dodgers back on schedule.

      And Craig finds Kay’s lack of faith disturbing.

    • moogro - Sep 18, 2013 at 4:36 PM

      Awesome. But I was picturing this conversation happening with Craig in a Kirk swivel-chair.

      RIP

      http://nbchardballtalk.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/tiffany-simons.jpg?w=296

  4. courageousdeer - Sep 18, 2013 at 2:45 PM

    As a lifelong Giants’ fan who’s been genetically program to loathe all things Dodger, I heartily endorse this portrayal of Kemp as a destructive tool of the evil Empire.

  5. courageousdeer - Sep 18, 2013 at 2:46 PM

    Although, I gotta admit that watching Matt Kemp giving his entire uniform to a disabled, dying fan early in the season (at AT&T Park, no less) was pretty damn cool.

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