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Settling the Score: Thursday’s results

Sep 20, 2013, 8:10 AM EDT

Indians AP celebration AP

Note: With Craig out of town, we have a “Settling the Score” in place of the usual “And That Happened.” Don’t worry, we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming on Tuesday.

While two teams clinched playoff spots yesterday, the American League Wild Card picture remains a crowded one. The Rangers and Rays will enter the weekend tied for the two Wild Card spots after splitting a four-game series this week. The Indians find themselves just a half-game back (one back in the loss column) following a thrilling win over the Astros in 15 innings last night. While the Orioles lost to the Red Sox last night, they are just two games back and will begin a four-game series against the Rays tonight at Tropicana Field. The Royals were idle yesterday and sit three games back. Meanwhile, the Yankees lost to the Blue Jays yesterday to fall 3 1/2 games behind and appear to be the biggest longshot of the bunch. We might not have a ton of intrigue in most of the other races, but the AL Wild Card should keep us plenty occupied over the next week and a half.

Your Thursday box scores:

Padres 1, Pirates 10

Mariners 4, Tigers 5

Giants 2, Mets 1

Astros 1, Indians 2 (11 innings)

Cubs 5, Brewers 1

Yankees 2, Blue Jays 6

Cardinals 6, Rockies 7 (15 innings)

Orioles 1, Red Sox 3

Dodgers 7, Diamondbacks 6

Rangers 8, Rays 2

Marlins 2, Nationals 3

Twins 6, Athletics 8

  1. historiophiliac - Sep 20, 2013 at 8:21 AM

    In an effort to incite Food Fight Friday, I offer this:

    Althought it’s clearly bunk, as horseradish is below soy sauce (what?) and mayo beats both ketchup and 2! kinds of mustard.

    • jarathen - Sep 20, 2013 at 8:26 AM

      Mayo should be right at the bottom. Devil’s grease, that stuff.

      • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:43 AM

        Mayo is the failed potential of Hollandaise sauce. It looks easy on the page – may-yo, two measeley syllables you don’t even need your teeth to pronounce – but man, that moment when you realize you’ve had too much steam boiling up under your double boiler and your now-ersatz Hollandaise is barely suitable to grace a bowl full of smashed up canned tuna fish and you’d have to drive all the way to Publix through the rain to get more eggs if you wanted to try it again, well, that’s like being a Gnats fan in about three more days.

      • indaburg - Sep 20, 2013 at 12:26 PM

        Mayonnaise always reminds of the scene from Undercover Brother where the black secret agent is forced to eat mayo in order to properly fit in with the white folks:

      • jarathen - Sep 20, 2013 at 1:00 PM

        That scene is so difficult for me to watch. It’s just vile.

    • dan1111 - Sep 20, 2013 at 8:31 AM

      Obviously designed to start a fight, but can we at least all agree he’s right about #23 (and its place below #22)?

      • historiophiliac - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:30 AM


        /throws popcorn

      • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:45 AM

        /Throws handful of unshelled walnuts right back at you. They would have been unshelled alligator pears if I didn’t know my dogs would clean up the popcorn.

      • cur68 - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:47 AM

        Ranch dressing is barely fir for dressing up hog swill. Bleh.

      • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:51 AM

        It’s the cow pies in the dressing that causes that.

    • nbjays - Sep 20, 2013 at 8:33 AM

      IMO, wasabi should be right at the bottom, below ranch dressing, which – hilariously – is right below “Being hit by a car”

      • proudlycanadian - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:04 AM

        I agree with you on Wasabi. I eat at Japanese restaurants several times a week and always pass on the wasabi.

      • historiophiliac - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:31 AM

        Also, did you note the absence of syrup? The dude must be a terrorist or something.

      • indaburg - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:32 AM

        You are wrong, wrong, wrong. Because food tastes, like sense of humor and .OPS, is totally quantifiable and there is a wrong and right. And you are wrong. Wasabi is AWESOME. When I have a cold, extra wasabi. The real stuff too. Not that horseradish they try to pass off as wasabi.

        Also, cake is better than pie and bread pudding is horse’s ass. Thought I’d get that in there too.

      • indaburg - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:33 AM

        Maple syrup is not listed because it is not a condiment. It is the main course. Pancakes are just an excuse to eat syrup.

      • raysfan1 - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:35 AM

        Do not eat the pistachio ice cream; it has turned.

      • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:52 AM

        Bah! Fear of wasabi is high on my list of the top two wussinesses in human experience. Wasabi is not a condiment, it is a sacrament, and it clears out your sinuses more efficaciously than a twisted rag dipped in blackseed oil passed through your nostril, down the back of your throat and drawn slowly out through your mouth, like the Zen monks practice. Clears ’em discretely too, so the would-be girlfriend you’re trying to impress with the rag trick doesn’t excuse herself to go to the bathroom and fifteen seconds later you hear her car starting up down on the driveway. Yes, a sacrament, in the same sense that evangelical cracker preachers remind you that Grace visits not like a caress but with the talons of an eagle, “Yes children, it hammered me, turned me inside out like a sheep stomach being blanched for haggis” and so on. It is the magical ingredient that transforms mere raw fish into maguro nigiri I pon ku ra sai. It is the black pearl guarded by the dragon. If you can’t handle it, go eat Chinese.

      • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:21 AM

        Indy: if not for our torrid past, I would have two words for you in response to your unlettered incomprehension of the glories of bread pudding, and they wouldn’t be “not tonight.” Behold:

        Savory Crab and Bacon Bread Pudding

        1 tbsp butter
        3 cups dry chopped corn or whole wheat biscuits, two or three days old
        2 rashers thick cut bacon
        1 tsp coconut oil
        1/3 cup heavy cream
        1/4 cup finely diced onion
        1/4 cup minced red red sweet pepper
        1/3-1/2 cup chicken broth
        1 large egg
        1/2 lemon, juiced, plus the zest from the whole lemon
        tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon
        6 ozymandias lump crabmeat
        salt and pepper
        pinch cayenne (though you can skip this if you also slink away from wasabi – wouldn’t want to dent your tender sensibilities now, would we?).

        For the topping:
        1/2 tablespoon vinegar
        2 eggs
        1/4 cup Hollandaise sauce (try not to fuck it up – this stuff isn’t nearly as good with mayo).

        Preheat oven to 400 degrees F
        Butter the insides of 2 ramekins and place on a baking sheet. You can do this with your fingers but make sure to wash them if you’ve had them up your nose recently.
        Place biscuit pieces into a large bowl, set aside (unless you’re a Tea Party cretin, in which case blow off the set-asides and ruin the entire recipe out of sheer ideological constipation).
        Heat bacon in hot oil until browned. Add a little vegetable oil to remaining bacon fat.
        Stir in onion and cook over low heat till soft. Stir in diced sweet pepper and cook for an additional minute.
        Stir in chicken broth and heavy cream until mixture begins to simmer.
        Pour cream mixture over biscuit pieces and toss until all liquid is absorbed, unless you’re a Tea Party cretin who hates setasides, in which case why not dump all that stuff on the counter and claim a moral victory?
        Stir in egg, lemon juice, tarragon lemon zest.
        Mix in crabmeat, salt, black pepper, and add a dash of cayenne (unless you’re one of those wasabiphobiacs, in which case you can skip this step and your palate can stay soft and pink as the day you were spalded into the glare of reality).
        Spoon into buttered ramekins and bake until golden brown, about 20 minutes.
        Remove ramekins from oven and top each pudding with a poached egg. Spoon Hollandaise sauce over each egg, assuming you haven’t fucked it up. Garnish cayenne if you’ve got the fortitude for it.

        Serves two.

      • nbjays - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:21 AM

        If I want my sinuses cleared out, I’ll use a nasal spray or a neti-pot, thanks. Maybe the so-called wasabi I have eaten is crap, but to my mind, if a condiment has to completely and utterly cover any flavour the food you use it on might have had, then you might as well just eat the condiment and forget the food.

        ‘Burgie, I agree about maple syrup being a food unto itself, but I happen to think you are on crack regarding pie vs cake. Yes, bread pudding IS horse’s ass, but pie utterly destroys any and all cake, except for cheesecake, which is a sublime hybrid of pie, cake and the food of the gods.

      • historiophiliac - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:27 AM

        I’m so sick of all the cake- and pie-holes on here.

      • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:47 AM

        Unmannered sir! Wasabi is the ultimate enhancement. Applied with skill and sensitivity it coaxes out the subtle flavors of sushi and wafts them across your palate and, yea, even unto the upper reaches of thy ethmoid sinuses, so that you are tasting your sushi not merely with your tongue but with your entire head.

        If you slobber it all over your nigiri or mix too powerful a solution of it in your soy sauce bowl, yeah, it’ll be more theraputic than epicurean. Try a little tenderness.

      • cur68 - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:48 AM

        You breadpuddingists make me sick. Cake all the way!

      • nbjays - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:57 AM

        Cake? You must be from Edmonton. Too many perogies and prairie oysters have ruined your taste buds, my friend.

      • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:59 AM

        The altitude has hamstrung your palate like a curing flitch.

      • indaburg - Sep 20, 2013 at 11:14 AM

        Read OG’s comment. Wasabi is a sacrament. I may have to give his bread pudding recipe a try after his impassioned defense of wasabi. Maybe the problem is that I have only had shitty bread pudding. That happened to me with Thai food. The first two times I tried it, I didn’t like it. How could this be? I love Asian cuisine. It turns out, I went to bad restaurants. The third time was the charm. I love Thai food.

        Although, his recipe is cheating. It has bacon. Of course it’s going to be delicious
        Bacon’s awesomeness makes anything it touches great.

        Be careful with that neti pot. Don’t use tap water:

      • historiophiliac - Sep 20, 2013 at 11:49 AM

        bacon (non-Canadian) = that stuff that purports to be gelatinous marshmallow

      • moogro - Sep 20, 2013 at 11:56 AM

        No one mentions sushi? Wasabi + sushi = amazing. Also great for sausages.

        Mayo needs to go away. i’ve spent my whole life having to decline it or wipe it off. It is never needed, and adds nothing. I think it’s a bad habit from homes that must serve really dry food or something.

        Pie and bread pudding are both friendly to the humans. Cake is kinda blah. It is OK and all, but is like mayo: too rich and thick and fattening, not special, boring, usually a let down. Maybe I should say that more accurately, most cake frosting is like mayo. If I have to eat the cake, almost always scrape the frosting off unless its the good stuff without the crisco.

      • indaburg - Sep 20, 2013 at 12:15 PM

        ‘Philiac, your distaste for bacon, cake, and rum makes your taste buds highly suspect. And my taste buds are right. This is not subjective.

        Couple of points:

        Bacon, gelatinous? What the hell cheap ass bacon are you buying? Or quit adding jello to the bacon. You’re not doing it right.

        “Canadian” bacon? It’s peameal bacon. Canadians love all kinds of bacon so to call one kind Canadian is kinda inaccurate. But you know, Americans. Canada is a country actually obsessed with the stuff, to my delight. Although, I don’t know about choosing bacon over sex: Maybe add bacon to sex?

        Can the rest of us agree that maple syrup and cheeseCAKE rule? Aye?

    • nbjays - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:26 AM

      At least Food Fight Friday is more fun than Thumbs Down Tuesday.

      • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:35 AM

        Our Artificial Stupidity might be back tomorrow when his junior high school is closed for the weekend, unless he’s on Saturday detention for picking his nose during his home ec class on using your fingers to butter the inside of a ramekin.

  2. proudlycanadian - Sep 20, 2013 at 8:22 AM

    The Yankees were lucky to keep last night’s game close as Kuroda was constantly in trouble but kept getting out of it. Joba did the right thing and gave up a 3 run homer to Lind. Anthony Gose scored a couple of runs and had 3 hits for the Jays including a home run. It was a treat watching him score easily from first on a double by Reyes. He is very fast. A very good pitching performance for the Jays by Redmond.

  3. nbjays - Sep 20, 2013 at 8:30 AM

    One reason the Yankees have their backs against the wall is that everytime Joe Girardi trots Joba out of the bullpen, the game becomes lopsided, with 8 Yankee players vs 10 on whatever team they happen to be playing.

    When Joba started the bottom of the seventh, I just knew the Jays were going to add on to their lead. A walk, a single and a three-run bomb later, good old Joba the Hutt was back in the Yankees’ dugout, having not retired a batter, yet no doubt thinking “my work here is done”.

    Joba Chamberlain – the gift that keeps on giving.

    • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 11:01 AM

      I still have an enduring memory of Joba fighting orf those flying ants in Cleveland. That and the trampoline bagatelle. His plaque at Cooperstown will have those bugs all around his head. I can’t wait.

  4. proudlycanadian - Sep 20, 2013 at 8:36 AM

    It was Toronto’s turn to honor Mariano Rivera. They gave him a $10,000 cheque for his charitable foundation and an excellent Inuit soapstone sculpture. Darren Oliver who is a year older than Rivera presented the cheque. Oliver plans to quietly retire after the season.

    • DelawarePhilliesFan - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:16 AM

      Yes, but 10,000 dollars in what currency? đŸ˜‰

      • proudlycanadian - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:21 AM

        Who cares? They gave Ripken’s charity $5,000 during his farewell tour. That is inflation for you. I believe that Ripken also got a painting.

      • historiophiliac - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:26 AM

        Probably those Tory dollars.

      • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:48 AM

        PC – one of those tigers on velvet, perhaps?

    • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:37 AM

      An Inuit soapstone sculpture. I love it. I assume it was classier than “Pedro,” the ithyphallic wooden doll Dan Quayle brought back from his goodwill tour of Mexico.

      • nbjays - Sep 20, 2013 at 11:08 AM

        Gator, not the best photo of the artwork, but the article does detail the backstory of the piece and why it is a fitting gift for Mo.

      • nbjays - Sep 20, 2013 at 11:44 AM

        Here’s a link with a much better photo of the sculpture…

      • historiophiliac - Sep 20, 2013 at 12:19 PM

        I like it. And, isn’t Mo from a fishing community?

      • nbjays - Sep 20, 2013 at 3:15 PM

        I think his father was a fisherman, if I remember correctly.

  5. scoutsaysweitersisabust - Sep 20, 2013 at 8:50 AM

    Lackey was dealing last night. O’s loss was disappointing, but not surprising. I believe they only have two series sweeps this year, one of those being a two game set. A buddy of mine traveled from MD to Boston in part to catch the game. I put the blame squarely on his shoulders, and the O’s always lose when he goes to see them in a visiting park. No time to focus on the loss however as an incredibly crucial 4 game set against the reeling Rays starts tonight. In four days we should have a pretty good picture of what the wild card situation will look like.

    • historiophiliac - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:33 AM

      I texted my buddy that I loved the O’s being spoilers and he texted back: Screw that! We’re playing for the WC!

    • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:55 AM

      Speaking of lackeys, Scrooge McLoria, what have you done with the Chihuahua????

  6. hcf95688 - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:38 AM

    A’s fans are cookoo for Coco!

    • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:00 AM

      Imagine having to go through life after mama names you for her favorite breakfast cereal.

      • historiophiliac - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:18 AM

        I see that this year, they’ve added fried Fruity Pebbles to the menu at the state fair.

      • nbjays - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:23 AM

        Maybe so, Gator, but being called Coco Crisp beats the hell out of having a name like Cork Flake or Grape Nuts.

      • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:28 AM

        I see the Tea Party cretins want to cut 40 billion out of the food stamps program. I guess they expect the lower tier of the working poor to eat gravel too.

      • jwbiii - Sep 20, 2013 at 11:49 AM

        Less food, easier access to guns. You figure it out.

    • APBA Guy - Sep 20, 2013 at 11:31 AM

      Can you believe Covelli has 20 HR’s this year?

      Another warm night in Oakland last night, which means the ball carries better. The A’s have hit more HR’s post-ASG than any team in baseball.

      Last night’s monster blasts were by Callaspo, Crisp, and Lowrie. Not exactly how you would have figured it in April, but getting sock from 1-9 is such a change from 2010 when the team had power from just 1 guy.

      As Melvin tunes the team up for the playoffs (Magic Number: 4), one of the question marks is Brett Anderson.Since coming back from injury(s) in late August, Brett has pitched 7 times and has given up ER’s on 5 occasions, 3 of those multiple ER’s. He’s demonstrated good velocity, but no touch and very little command. Basically, he’s just throwing it up there, like a lefty Balfour. Unless he turns it around in the next week, I don’t think he makes the post-season roster. Which is a big loss for the A’s because Blevins is shaky, and Doolittle is a late inning guy. This may seem trivial at the moment but the A’s have a sad history of not getting out of the first playoff round. It’s little things like having 2 effective lefties that can help squeak out an extra win that can mean the difference in a playoff series.

      Anyway, Texas is at KC, another tough series for Wash and a team that’s 2-8 while KC is 6-4. The A’s could be celebrating the Division Championship before the homestand ends on Sunday.

      • hcf95688 - Sep 20, 2013 at 1:34 PM

        I’ll be there Sunday. Should be a great crowd!

      • APBA Guy - Sep 20, 2013 at 4:14 PM

        Yeah, the crowd was pretty noisy Wed afternoon until Hamilton’s bomb. They’ve been nice and loud lately. Have a great time!

  7. Jason Lukehart - Sep 20, 2013 at 9:40 AM

    Cleveland’s win last night was thrilling, but took 11 innings, not 15 (it’s listed correctly next to the box score, but incorrectly in the write up).

    I wonder how many baseball fans have noticed that Ubaldo Jimenez has been the best pitcher in the American League since the All-Star break???

    • proudlycanadian - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:21 AM

      The Indians won, but are having difficulty closing the deal, even with the easy schedule. It was the worst team in MLB that gave them trouble yesterday. Looking ahead, they have a much easier schedule than Tampa Bay and Texas.

      • Jason Lukehart - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:45 AM

        The Rays certainly have the toughest remaining schedule among those 3. Baltimore’s is very rough too, looking a little further down. It’s crazy to still have so many moving pieces so late in the season.

  8. hittfamily - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:13 AM

    Tim Beckham has a higher career OPS than Buster Posey and Barry Bonds combined. Suck on that internet experts!

    • proudlycanadian - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:24 AM

      After his fine debut, his career stats have nowhere to go but down.

  9. grumpyoleman - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:49 AM

    Prince grabbing a nacho from a fan yesterday was priceless

    • Old Gator - Sep 20, 2013 at 10:53 AM

      From a defenseless fan. If Moby Dick suddenly surfaced next to my rowboat and demanded my can of bait, I’d give it to him too.

      • historiophiliac - Sep 20, 2013 at 11:45 AM

        It was stealth. The fan did not notice before the nacho was gone.

  10. natstowngreg - Sep 20, 2013 at 11:32 AM

    The radio in my friend’s car was tuned to the Nats’ post-game show. We were navigating the streets of Southwest Washington, trying to get home from the game. The commentators were droning on about the Nats’ playoff possibilities. If the Reds lost this many games, and/or the Pirates lost that many, the Nats would have to win such and so, yada yada yada. The lengths they went to were surreal.

    Worse, they came up with a scenario whereby Jordan Zimmerman could win his 20th game in a one-game playoff with the Reds or Pirates for a Wild Card slot. At that point, the station was, mercifully, changed.

  11. jwbiii - Sep 20, 2013 at 11:51 AM

    Updated playoff percentages:

    Team     FG   B-Pro   Schedule
    Tex*   65.9    70.4   3 @KCR, 3 Hou, 4 LAA
    TBR*   64.9    67.1   4 Bal, 3 @NYY, 3 @Tor
    Cle    54.4    49.0   3 Hou, 2 ChW, 4 @Min
    Bal     8.8     9.0   4 @TBR, 3 Tor, 3 Bos
    KCR     3.7     4.0   3 Tex, 3 @Sea, 4 @ChW
    NYY     2.3     1.0   3 SFG, 3 TBR, 3 @Hou
    WsN     1.6     1.2   3 Mia, 3 @StL, 3 @Ari

    Splitsville: Rangers/Rays, Orioles/Red Sox, and Yankees/Blue Jays all split. The second division teams here can’t win a war of attrition. For added fun, the Pirates routed the Padres on Talk Like a Pirate Day. Yarr!

    As for where they’re going next, check the schedule above.

    Elimination news: The Angels’ tragic number is now 2, the Diamondbacks are at 1.

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