Skip to content

A.J. Ellis: Uncrustables Advocate

Oct 2, 2013, 2:30 PM EDT

A.J. Ellis Getty Getty Images

Bill Plaschke of the L.A. Times has a feature on A.J. Ellis, who is one of the more unlikely occasional heroes on the Dodgers this year.  Solid stuff as far as profiles go — they’re always better for non-stars than they are for stars — but as always, one thing sticks out to me. Usually that thing is some weird factoid. This is no different:

On a team filled with sophisticated and popular stars, Ellis is the guy who passes out peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. His father runs a Smucker’s plant that produces the popular “Uncrustables” and Ellis is a leading advocate.

I’ve never had an Uncrustable, mostly because I’m sorta wary of a sandwich that is manufactured at an industrial plant instead of made in a kitchen moments before I eat it. I do like that someone is an “advocate” for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, though. There are, like, 10,000 worse things people advocate for and feel passionately about. PB&J seems pretty harmless as far as such things go, manufactured or not.

  1. chip56 - Oct 2, 2013 at 2:35 PM

    Random curiosity: what’s the difference between a sandwich made at an industrial plant and a sandwich made in your home from ingredients made in an industrial plant?

    • spudchukar - Oct 2, 2013 at 2:37 PM

      Cleaner Hands.

      • chip56 - Oct 2, 2013 at 2:39 PM

        Hands probably don’t touch the uncrustables.

    • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Oct 2, 2013 at 2:39 PM

      Bread that is either soggy from being in plastic packaging with the PBJ, or bread that does not behave like bread, which would be soggy from being in plastic packaging with the PBJ.

    • DelawarePhilliesFan - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:00 PM

      Thats why I grow my own wheat, cultivate my own yeast, grow my own peanuts and berries, grow pure cane sugar and other necessary ingrediatnts to make my own free range sandwiches.

      Each PBJ costs me about $47

      • chip56 - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:07 PM

        I suppose that’s one way to go.

        I’m not some radical out to end processed foods. I just was curious as to what Craig thought the difference was between the sandwich the factory makes and the one he makes with the same ingredients.

      • DelawarePhilliesFan - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:16 PM

        Probably just gives him the willies

      • Craig Calcaterra - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:19 PM

        Also:

        BREAD: ENRICHED UNBLEACHED FLOUR (WHEAT FLOUR, MALTED BARLEY FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED IRON, THIAMIN MONONITRATE, RIBOFLAVIN, FOLIC ACID), WATER, UNBLEACHED WHOLE WHEAT FLOUR, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN OIL, CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF: SALT, WHEAT GLUTEN, DOUGH CONDITIONERS (DISTILLED MONOGLYCERIDES, SODIUM STEAROYL LACTYLATE, DATEM, ENZYMES [WITH AMYLASE, LIPASE, ASCORBIC ACID, CALCIUM PEROXIDE, AZODICARBONAMIDE, WHEAT STARCH]), YEAST. PEANUT BUTTER: PEANUTS, DEXTROSE, SUGAR, MONO AND DIGLYCERIDES (PALM AND/OR SOYBEAN OIL), CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF: FULLY HYDROGENATED VEGETABLE OILS (SOYBEAN AND/OR COTTONSEED AND/OR RAPESEED), SALT, MOLASSES. GRAPE JELLY: GRAPE JUICE, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, CORN SYRUP, CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF: PECTIN, CITRIC ACID, POTASSIUM SORBATE (PRESERVATIVE).

      • DelawarePhilliesFan - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:24 PM

        Yep, I produce all of it. It’s a bitch I tell ya.

        It’s worth it though – around the Holiday’s we go 3% on the Pectin. You’ve never lived until you’ve had a 3% Pectin PBJ

      • bdickey33 - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:31 PM

        Not sure why, but I read this and haven’t been able to stop laughing for a couple minutes now. Well done sir!

      • DelawarePhilliesFan - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:37 PM

        Thank you! Though I often look like Mr. Cranky Pants on here – off the wall tangents is really more up my alley

    • Craig Calcaterra - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:18 PM

      It’s nothing wrong with the sandwich as such. It’s the sentiment behind its very existence. “You’re too busy to make a PB&J sandwich! Here, let us help!” Who the fuck is too busy to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

      • chip56 - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:20 PM

        The snarky answer to that question is “single parents who, unlike baseball bloggers, have to put on pants to do their jobs.”

        But I see your point.

      • chip56 - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:31 PM

        Craig – you posted the ingredients to the Uncrustables, but my guess is that most (if not all) of those also appear if you look at a loaf of white bread, jar of peanut butter and one of jelly too…

      • Craig Calcaterra - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:42 PM

        Well, I’m a single dad. I suppose I do have more time than many others, but it literally takes 15 seconds to make a PB&J. If you’re being conscientious.

        And I’m not trying to go all high-horse here, and I’m not a natural foods fanatic, but I buy whole wheat bread with as little processing as possible. Natural PB and that Welches All Natural grape stuff. Mostly because PB&J can kinda be like candy sandwiches if you let it be and I try to cut out bad crap when it’s easy to do so.

    • Glenn - Oct 2, 2013 at 10:57 PM

      Chemicals and preservatives enough to embalm you?

      • chip56 - Oct 2, 2013 at 11:00 PM

        again, if the factory is using the same skippy, smuckers and wonder that you’re using at home, there’s no difference as far as that goes.

    • chumthumper - Oct 3, 2013 at 9:38 AM

      In my case, made by the hands of a mother who loved me and who didn’t get to spend near enough time on this earth.

  2. manute - Oct 2, 2013 at 2:37 PM

    They’re awful. They taste like a PBJ that somebody sat on several days ago. Imagine the worst pop tart ever and you’re almost there.

    FYI, they’re marketed towards parents who don’t love their kids.

    • DelawarePhilliesFan - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:15 PM

      ” they’re marketed towards parents who don’t love their kids”

      easssssssy there, brother! My kids like them, so we buy them for them. And I love my kids

    • petey1999 - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:17 PM

      Well, it seems like A.J. loves his dad anyway. Which is OK with me.

  3. Liam - Oct 2, 2013 at 2:51 PM

    I need everyone to help settle an intractable debate that has raged on with no end in sight since my collegiate years. Does the name “uncrustable” mean “able to be uncrusted” or “not able to be crusted”. Please advise.

  4. dannymac17 - Oct 2, 2013 at 2:57 PM

    I am okay with the uncrustables.

    as long as you keep them frozen then thaw them out when u want to use them.

  5. lew24 - Oct 2, 2013 at 2:59 PM

    PETA endorses this!

    lol

  6. DelawarePhilliesFan - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:01 PM

    My kids like them. Never tried one – they look like they have been stepped on

  7. jgarcia050 - Oct 2, 2013 at 3:10 PM

    they are awesome if u eat them frozen…Im a huge fan of them

  8. salsashark2004 - Oct 2, 2013 at 7:12 PM

    The secret to a good Uncrustable is freezing it, then taking it out of the freezer, letting it thaw naturally then eating it when it’s still cold but just shy of frozen. You’re welcome.

Leave Comment

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

Featured video

Can Angels recoup loss of Richards?
Top 10 MLB Player Searches
  1. R. Castillo (4815)
  2. M. Cuddyer (2855)
  3. K. Bryant (2468)
  4. G. Richards (2312)
  5. A. Garcia (2159)
  1. A. McCutchen (2109)
  2. W. Myers (2090)
  3. J. Werth (2044)
  4. H. Ramirez (2027)
  5. D. Ortiz (1944)