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A small request, Pirates. Just a small one.

Oct 3, 2013, 5:35 PM EDT

Pirates: you know I got your back. You know that, like everyone else who isn’t a Cardinals fan, I’m rooting for you to beat the Cardinals. I think the odds are long that you will, but I’d love to see it.  But we do have a problem.

You gotta cut this out:

source:

The black solids are for spring training and batting practice. Not for a team that wants to look like it belongs. You look good in white. You look good in gray. You look extra-good in those sweet 70s throwbacks you wear on Sundays. But his black top with white/gray pants thing is an abomination.

And don’t get too smug, you other teams. The same goes for every one of you wearing these solid jerseys as opposed to white and gray. Braves blue, Rays blue, forget it. I suppose the A’s can wear their gold because the A’s have always been like that weird sibling you simply can’t reason with so we’ve stopped trying, but the rest of you need to cut it out.

It’s the playoffs. It’s the fancy dinner of the baseball season. Try to look your best. Right now you look like the USFL or something.

And yes, get off my lawn.

  1. johnnysoda - Oct 3, 2013 at 5:36 PM

    I happen to like the black uniforms. They’re a lot better than those bland grays.

    What I don’t like is how they wear them both at home and on the road. It’s weird.

  2. Old Gator - Oct 3, 2013 at 5:38 PM

    Ah, the John Simon of fashion critics. And what did you think of Miley Cyrus’ latest see-through and ostrich feathers outfit?

    • philsieg - Oct 3, 2013 at 6:03 PM

      As long as I don’t ever have to see that child’s tongue again, she can wear what she wants.

  3. jarathen - Oct 3, 2013 at 5:42 PM

    I liked the black uniforms in the wild card game. The wild card is a one-off, wear that one-off. But yeah, the home whites and road grays are great, the Pirates have great unis. Embrace it!

  4. echech88 - Oct 3, 2013 at 5:42 PM

    I think the solids work for some but not all.

    Most are bad (uh..hello Miami and SF orange traffic cone jerseys) but I actually think the Rays’ navy with baby blue piping is an example of how it can be done correctly.

    If everyone wore white and grey it would get really old from a branding perspective.

  5. okwhitefalcon - Oct 3, 2013 at 5:43 PM

    Uh, oh – I agree with Craig.

    The apocalypse is officially on us.

    Those softball jerseys gotta go.

  6. glennsyank13 - Oct 3, 2013 at 5:43 PM

    Anything is better than road gray.

  7. vivabear - Oct 3, 2013 at 5:49 PM

    It was taken to a whole new level last week when the Rangers wore their home solid, red jerseys while playing the Angels in their road solid, red jerseys. All who had the ability to not let it happen, but did shoud be ashamed.

    • jarathen - Oct 3, 2013 at 6:02 PM

      I don’t know why a blue team like the Rangers embraces red so often, and why the Angels want to drown in it. Look to the Cardinals, Angels. Bright white or road gray with red where it matters.

      Don’t look at Cincinnati. Black is not a real color for them.

    • vivabear - Oct 3, 2013 at 6:36 PM

      BTW – “The black solids are for spring training and batting practice. Not for a team that wants to look like it belongs.”

      Is this one of baseball’s unwritten rules? And I thought Craig wasn’t a fan of those.

      • bigbenh8tr - Oct 3, 2013 at 8:01 PM

        Touche`my friend

  8. paperlions - Oct 3, 2013 at 5:52 PM

    Eh, I don’t mind the black shirts (“tops” are women’s clothes, toys, or closures for containers), I think they look fine with the grey pants.

  9. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Oct 3, 2013 at 5:54 PM

    Who knew that the commissioner of the fashion police is a cargo-shorts aficionado?

    • proudlycanadian - Oct 3, 2013 at 6:11 PM

      At least the fashion police in MLB are not as draconian as the NFL fashion police.

      • detectivejimmymcnulty - Oct 3, 2013 at 6:23 PM

        You mean you don’t like fining someone for socks?

  10. km9000 - Oct 3, 2013 at 5:59 PM

    I think the headline was supposed to be:
    “Please, Pirates. Don’t do me a solid.”

    • pipkin42 - Oct 3, 2013 at 6:20 PM

      Who voted this down? I thought it was hilarious!

  11. thomas844 - Oct 3, 2013 at 6:02 PM

    This Reds fan will actually be rooting for St. Louis. And yes, I am still salty about the Wild Card game.

    • philsieg - Oct 3, 2013 at 6:11 PM

      This Reds fan (since ’56) will be rooting for the Pirates. Hard to get upset about the WC game when Walt, Dusty and the boys pretty much mailed it in from the All Star break. Walt let Byrd slip though waivers, Dusty was always “We’ll get ‘em tomorrow” with zero sense of urgency, the team stunk from the right side of the plate all season. The Pirates and their fans earned it.

      One of the great thrills of my baseball life (non-Reds division) was sitting in front of a 21″ B&W television watching Yogi’s shoulder slump as Maz went yard. I hope the Bucs go all the way.

  12. biasedhomer - Oct 3, 2013 at 6:09 PM

    Contrary to what you think Craig, not everyone dislikes the black uniforms.
    They look pretty good, and as you can see from the comments, you probably are in the minority.

  13. rbj1 - Oct 3, 2013 at 6:23 PM

    Advantage: Yankees. Home pinstripes, road grays and one style cap, except when the evil ^&^#@^ Bud Selig mandates red cap days.

    • theskinsman - Oct 3, 2013 at 7:43 PM

      Um you’re required to discuss good teams here, not those sad sacks from the Bronx.

  14. ndnut - Oct 3, 2013 at 6:30 PM

    I feel like dark colors look okay (Rays navy, Pirates black) but bright colors usually don’t (Giants orange, Rays old powder blue, Red Sox red). Only a few teams pull off relatively bright in my mind. Those are the A’s, Angels, and, to a degree, Rangers. Also, do what the Twins do. Make navy blue jerseys with your location for the road and another set with the team name for home.

  15. hojo20 - Oct 3, 2013 at 6:32 PM

    Agree on this one. An also, the Sox are wearing Red tomorrow and I bet the Rays will wear the blue tops. Double yuck.

  16. tfbuckfutter - Oct 3, 2013 at 6:37 PM

    I root for or against teams based on their fans and their history.

    So while I would rather see the sad-sack Pirates beat the recently-championship-winning Cardinals….

    I would must rather see people in Pittsburgh be disappointed and mad than St. Louis fans being sad.

  17. Kevin S. - Oct 3, 2013 at 6:58 PM

    And this, sportsfans, is why the Yankees always belong in the playoffs. None of this solid-top nonsense.

    • tfbuckfutter - Oct 3, 2013 at 7:25 PM

      The Yankees in the playoffs make a bunch of assholes happy.

      The Yankees not being in the playoffs makes a diverse group of the rest of the entire world happy.

      You don’t even have to be a mathemagician to work those numbers.

  18. matthewatrombley - Oct 3, 2013 at 7:21 PM

    Actually, these uniforms are dope.

  19. bigbenh8tr - Oct 3, 2013 at 7:53 PM

    Craig,

    Quit the old school bs. The reds wore blue/red in the 80s and 90s. Blue jays did it, twins did it, among others. You don’t ALWAYS have to post what you are currently thinking about or when nothing worthwhile is happening. This blog is turning into a glorified twitter account

    • pauleee - Oct 3, 2013 at 8:43 PM

      ALL the way back in the ’80s!? Gee, I guess that it makes it darn right traditional.

      • bigbenh8tr - Oct 3, 2013 at 11:25 PM

        Yes the 80s were 25 years ago. Sorry I’m not a 50 year old man spending time on a blog and not with my family. That’s as far as I go back and when you talk “old school” you are typically referencing the 70s/80s. Thanks jerk

  20. bigbenh8tr - Oct 3, 2013 at 7:57 PM

    Do you really think the USFL uniforms are any worse than what the NFL uses? I mean just look at the jags, bengals, bills, and chargers

  21. denny65 - Oct 3, 2013 at 8:51 PM

    Those of us who have suffered through Mariners’ teal feel for you, Craig.

  22. jimmyt - Oct 4, 2013 at 7:28 AM

    You know what we call a sports fan who cares so much about what the uniforms look like?

    A female sports fan.

    • historiophiliac - Oct 4, 2013 at 8:25 AM

      Excuse me?

      1) Your tone suggests that there is something lesser about being a female baseball fan. In which case, STFU.

      2) I’m in a baseball group and I promise you that the young dudes on there chatter more about the unis than I ever do (they do the same with football), so STFU.

      3) Since you have clearly announced that you have no interest in sports fashion, there’s no reason for you to comment on a post about the same. FYI, the sports apparel industry makes a ton of money and it’s not all on female athletes, so STFU.

  23. eagles512 - Oct 4, 2013 at 8:19 AM

    I agree. They’re cool looking but for game 1 of a series? No way-that’s a spring training or maybe regular season look.

  24. bluesoxbaseball - Oct 4, 2013 at 8:30 AM

    Could not agree more!

  25. bravojawja - Oct 4, 2013 at 9:18 AM

    I actually like the Braves’ road blues, but those hideous neon orange monstrosities they used to only wear on Sundays but now seem to wear every other day have got to go. Leave neon orange to the Marlins.

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