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What a Braves fan tweets at 4AM when his team faces elimination

Oct 7, 2013, 8:02 AM EDT

Owl Creek

I have a cold and feel like crap and last night’s Braves-Dodgers game was not exactly a big bowl of chicken soup on top of it. So it’s probably not surprising that I went to bed somewhat grumpy, resigned to the fact that Freddy Garcia is all that stands in between the present and the Braves’ elimination. And of course, this wasn’t a recipe for a good night’s sleep, so I was up at 3:53 AM. Here’s what happens on Twitter at that hour when you find yourself in my frame a mind with some cold medicine added on top:


Hark! An actual major league baseball player is up too and tries to help:


It’s not nothing I guess. Though I’d probably feel better if the best of his playoff performances hadn’t been pre-9/11, but you do what you can. What else do people got?

Again: true. Though how much weird stuff can really happen when, even if Freddy comes through, you gotta find a way to win again on Wednesday. That really sends the mind reeling:


“If I could free my hands,” he thought, “I might throw off the noose and spring into the stream. By diving I could evade the bullets and, swimming vigorously, reach the bank, take to the woods and get away home. My home, thank God, is as yet outside their lines; my wife and little ones are still beyond the invader’s farthest advance.”

Except Clayton Kershaw will be standing there in a Union uniform ready to snap you, the noose and your neck back to reality. Sigh.

Cast about for hope again. Let’s see if Freddy Garcia has anything that can help me out:

“I don’t panic. I just make pitch.” — Freddy Garcia.

Huh. That’s actually a little comforting in some twisted way. I mean, sure, it doesn’t make Freddy Garcia anything more than he is, but it woulda been nice if Julio Teheran had that kind of equanimity about him last night, no?  Yeah, I can sort of get behind Garcia’s groove here:


Playoff baseball, man. It’ll make you believe anything and reach for anything in desperation.

And even if my boys go down in flames tonight, I wouldn’t change a thing about how the playoffs roll.

  1. Kevin S. - Oct 7, 2013 at 8:06 AM

    There’s a lot of reasons I love this blog, but the random allusions to stories from my freshman year Norton’s Anthology has to be pretty damn high on the list.

    Now, if only we could lose the Rush-baiting…

    • historiophiliac - Oct 7, 2013 at 11:49 AM

      I was with you until the last sentence.


  2. paperlions - Oct 7, 2013 at 8:13 AM

    Is there a follow up line about what happens have he “make pitch”? I imagine the snap in Garcia’s neck will have more to do with him watching balls leave the yard than a noose.

  3. blacksables - Oct 7, 2013 at 8:13 AM

    The Twilight Zone episode is awesome.

    • sdelmonte - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:38 AM

      Agreed. And Serling showed nerve in buying the rights to show it instead of sticking with the usual formula.

      Which doesn’t help the Braves, mind you.

  4. heyblueyoustink - Oct 7, 2013 at 8:35 AM

    Love that Puig kid though, whee whee whee all the way home.

  5. stoutfiles - Oct 7, 2013 at 8:42 AM

    Breathe easy Craig! McCarthy must have considerable postseason pitching experience to give you his opinion.

    (looks at stats, no experience)

    Oh. Well then.

  6. raysfan1 - Oct 7, 2013 at 8:55 AM

    Dude, what is it with you and getting sick during the playoffs? At least you should be better by the WS this time. Rest, hot fluids, a little bourbon, and a warm blanket.

    • Craig Calcaterra - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:06 AM

      Man, no idea. Kids just always get sick in October and then I get it. But, yeah, thinking the same thing as you: at least it’s (hopefully) out of the way before the WS.

      • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:37 AM

        Kids just always get sick in October and then I get it.

        Sharing is caring!

        And try having a teacher for a wife. Can’t go a few weeks without getting sick because third graders think nothing of sneezing on their homework and then handing it to the teacher.

      • NatsLady - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:41 AM

        So true! Or the piano–try giving 10 piano lessons in a day to 3rd graders. “Wash your hands, cough into your elbow…” Not looking forward to this afternoon.

      • raysfan1 - Oct 7, 2013 at 10:15 AM

        My third grade so yet to bestow such gifts on me yet this year. Germ-x is your friend.

      • historiophiliac - Oct 7, 2013 at 11:51 AM

        Children are terrible.

        (Beat ya, OG!)

  7. dadawg77 - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:06 AM

    2005 was after 9/11 so its a little sooner.

  8. aesmith777 - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:15 AM

    Nobody likes talking about Craig Calcaterra more than Craig Calcaterra.

    • NatsLady - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:30 AM

      Yeah, I noticed that too. But it’s a slow day until the games start, no ATH, and the man’s sick, so…

    • yahmule - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:36 AM

      We’re all our favorite topic.

  9. philsphilsphils - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:29 AM

    Another quick exit for the Bravos in the playoffs. Who didn’t see this coming?

    • NatsLady - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:31 AM

      Luckily, Donnie Baseball gave them a game, so it won’t be a sweep.

    • Craig Calcaterra - Oct 7, 2013 at 10:55 AM

      Well, when you root for the Phillies and your season is basically over in July, yes, you do have more time to look ahead to such things.

      • philsphilsphils - Oct 7, 2013 at 12:22 PM

        Fortunately or unfortunately (depending on how you look at it) we had some foreshadowing well before July. Looking forward to some of your Upton brother articles during your quickly approaching offseason. Feel better!

  10. MLBlogsbig3bosox - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:31 AM

    Hey look at the bright side: if the Braves escape from this big fat hole and somehow Freddy throws a gem and the Braves hitters get to Kershaw to win the series, I wouldn’t bet against them to win the WS. More reason for you to be healthy for the WS, Craig!

    • NatsLady - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:33 AM

      Yeah, like they’re going to beat the Red Sox? In your dreams.

      • MLBlogsbig3bosox - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:42 AM

        As a Sox fan, I’ve seen crazier things happen before (see 2004).

      • NatsLady - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:45 AM

        @MLBlogsbig3bosox–well, it could happen. And the Jags could beat the Broncos.

      • historiophiliac - Oct 7, 2013 at 11:52 AM


  11. yahmule - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:34 AM

    Hitching your wagon to Sweaty Freddy is not an action taken without some degree of trepidation.

  12. pjmitch - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:38 AM

    Once again, I thank God I don’t use Twitter.

  13. ctony1216 - Oct 7, 2013 at 9:46 AM

    Amazingly sane tweets considering the hour and state of misery. I wonder if that’s excellent self-editing or the true nature of a relatively serene soul.

  14. indaburg - Oct 7, 2013 at 10:36 AM

    Brandon McCarthy is up at that ungodly hour and offers you comfort? You’re big time, Calcaterra.

  15. El Bravo - Oct 7, 2013 at 10:40 AM

    Cody Ross totally owened Roy Halladay and other normally dominant pitchers in the playoffs one year. There you go.

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